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[–]SuperSlavisWifeEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There are two types of depression:
-Exogenous depression is the one most people are familiar with. It comes from a traumatic event and often passes on its own and can be treated with certain medications and therapy.
-Endogenous depression is becoming more common, but most people don't know about it. It surfaces on its own, can last a lifetime and therapy is generally useless, as are many medications.
Depending on which one he's struggling with, the help you can provide is different. Sometimes the only thing you can do is be happy and supportive, give him some room when it's bad and make sure the small annoyances don't build up on him.
[–]Ibex89 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I believe I'm in step with the others here. I've suffered from depression for the last decade, and it's rough. First, I suggest you confirm that he recognizes that he is depressed - I didn't know I was until I had enough distance to look back on it, despite how obvious it was.
From there, it'll be his own struggle. If you can arrange it, I would suggest professional help, and bear in mind, therapists are all different - if one doesn't seem to be working, try another.
[–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I'm sorry, I had to remove this. Maybe you could post it in a sub like /r/depression or something, but RPW is not equipped to advise on severe depression. I suggest that you get him some professional help, and you could probably use some professional help as well since you have been dealing with this problem for a long time now.
[–]ALadyLikeMe 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I feel like it was a good post for discussion at RPW... Not sure how severe the OP was talking about, and any serious issues need a professional, but learning how to deal with a captain's weak moments as a RPW is a very relevant topic.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Here is why it is not a good post for RPW, it is not a redpill issue and it is not about her so there is nothing we can offer her. Not only that but she is probably mischaracterizing what's wrong with him and we can't hear his side.
[–]TempestTcup -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
She is saying that it is so bad that she is protecting herself from him. This sounds like an abusive relationship, and we aren't capable of dealing with a situation like that. This is her 3rd or so post about dealing with his depression; clearly reddit isn't helping her with this problem. Also if you look at her history there are a ton of problems in that relationship with cheating, swinging, etc.
Within a day of each other she posts Trouble Feeling/Being Supportive on RPW and then the next day she posts TRP gave me back the man I fell in love with to ThankTRP. RPW isn't equipped to deal with mood swings like that and all of the problems with their relationship. It's just a huge amount of drama that we really don't need.
[–]ALadyLikeMe 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah I see.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You went snooping through his stuff and found pictures. He divorced you. You do nothing except complain about him on this sub. He cheats on you. This is a horrible relationship, and besides, you don't even like us!:
We've had some long talks about TRP and while she doesn't think much of the girls at r/RedpillWomen, she's loving the Captain/First Officer dynamic.
At RPW we suggest finding a good man to be with, not some pathetic, cheating, emotionally abusive man who doesn't even care enough about you to be married to you. We can't help you, and no amount of effort on your part (although all I've seen is complaints, not action) is going to turn the sow's ear into a silk purse.
[–]ALadyLikeMe 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My SO is a very happy, positive person but he struggles with depression from time to time. He's had issues as a child that were more dramatic but it seems to be slowly mellowing out as he gets older. It comes in waves that can vary from one morning to a few months long...but it is always temporary.
What I've learned is to "be grateful when things are up, and graceful when things are down" and to gently remind him of this too. Happiness comes and goes for all of us, but for some people the lows can stick around much longer and it can seem like there's no way out.
The worst thing to do during a depressive spell is for either of us to start analyzing things, as the results are always going to look bad. If he starts getting in the trap of taking his depression too seriously, it's my job to pleasantly distract him out of this state. Watching funny movies, outdoor exercise and other lighthearted activities are helpful. The goal is simply to pass the time until the depressive spell is over, and not to put pressure on him to try to speed the process up (this backfires). It can be stressful if it's a particularly long spell and he may be neglecting some of his work or other important things, but this is where practicing graceful patience comes into practice. Don't take things personally when he acts out of depression, don't get sucked into whatever he's stuck in at the moment and don't ever criticize him. In depression it can start feeling like he is all alone in this world and the one thing you can do is make sure he always knows he has you on his side.
Just keep remembering that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When he comes out of it he will be so appreciative that you stuck through it with him. Be sure to celebrate and be as grateful as possible when he's back to a positive state as you never know when depression might creep back in and you'll have to bunker down again. But there is really nothing quite as beautiful and loving as being there for both his highs and his lows. It is the kind of loyalty that my man truly loves me for.
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[–]SuperSlavisWifeEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ibex89 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]ALadyLikeMe 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TempestTcup -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ALadyLikeMe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ALadyLikeMe 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link