Some backstory:

I'm a 26F and I was in two unhealthy relationships back to back, covering from 2012 to 2019. Due to my codependent tendencies, I devoted all my time and energy into these relationships, at the expense of my finances, career growth, and most importantly, female friendships. My only friends currently are the few I have left from high school who live hours away from me, and the new relationships I've managed to form since 2019.

Because of all the time I spent in abusive situations, as well as a very sheltered childhood where I wasn't allowed to really make too many friends anyway, I feel like I'm way behind on how to make friends and what is normal (even if it's not acceptable) behaviour among women around my age, 26.

One problem I have seems to be a common complaint, especially among city folks, is that women are incredibly flaky. They make plans, or seem to, and then cancel with very short notice or just straight up ghost on you. This doesn't happen as much with my rural friends, who will just straight up tell you they're not available/not interested in whatever activity you've talked about.

I don't know how to avoid this/how to put myself in situations where I am less likely to even meet these people. I'm also not sure how much of it is my own doing. For example, I'm not into many things women my age seem to enjoy as much as they are - going out and just drinking, no karaoke or anything, walking around a mall, etc. Not trying to be a pick-me girl I'm just a hick/tomboy. I don't mind doing those things sometimes but all the time is really boring. I like going for walks/hikes, cooking and baking, foraging, fishing, improv, among other things.

I feel like a fucking alien with these questions lol. If anyone knows what kind of questions to ask to help me get to the bottom of this I'd really appreciate it.