I very often see most people in their thirties and forties post in many subs including this one asking if there is hope for them to ever find love. What makes them feel the pressure? What makes them all of a sudden to feel like they are going to spend the rest of their life alone?
Society now has us believe that we should explore as many options as possible in our twenties (which is not necessarily a bad thing) before settling on one in some few years down the line but the truth is as the years go on, the options keep trickling down.
Imagine this scenario, there is a meeting about to begin in a hall, people are settling down as they wait for the speaker to begin his speech. Most people will naturally pick the best spots to sit in and with people they are comfortable with. Now imagine you come in late, and find that the speaker is already giving his speech and it's silence all across the hall, you see a chair in the middle that is free and you want to sit there but there are also chairs near you. As you try to access the chair you want, people start staring at you and you feel uncomfortable and you finally decide to sit in the chair closest to you.
I feel like that's what happens to most people in their thirties, they get a sudden realization that most of their friends and people around them are engaged or married and that they didn't commit to any relationship or were involved in many meaningless relationship. To make matters worse, external pressure kicks in, so it's not about finding a suitable partner for you anymore but trying to fit in and be like the rest.
It's why I believe one should take the relationship in their twenties seriously, vet the people coming to your life and ask yourself the question, is this a man or woman I would like to have children with, is this a person I can create a meaningful relationship with that can lead to marriage, is the person working towards a future that can be relied upon. If the answer is no, do not proceed, remember in your twenties there is no pressure, it's why it is a good time to find a good companion for yourself.
Chances of settling become higher the more you get older.
This also cuts across all types of relationships, the more you grow the harder it becomes to create new friends so also make a point to associate yourself with ambitious people in your twenties.
The fear of missing out is not real!!!What are you really missing out? Sex? I find it more appealing to do and create good memories with a few individuals who are guaranteed to be by your side than with a multitude of people who will leave you at the end of the day as you cry by yourself to sleep all alone. You get to choose the memories and life you create with the right people by your side.