Are you a Special Snowflake? Do you melt at the first sign of adversity?

No?

Then what motivates you to wipe your eyes, swear like a sailor, or kick something, or run a mile, or whatever it is that gives you the determination to keep fighting and make the changes to improve things?

Or are you a woman who wipes her eyes, decides to be patient and then taps into her success of being vulnerable, submissive and a soft place to land, happy to step back and wait for a man to take care things? If so, then how do you get by if there is no man around?

There have been a number of posts from young women espousing their dreams and plans for the future and that is a good thing. The bad thing is no one is keeping them accountable in terms of reality. I am hoping that some of our more experienced participants will back me up when I say:

Let a good man lead, but do not make your life plan dependent on a good man to take care of you.

As much as a man wants to provide for and protect his woman, there are times this is out of his control. If you can’t step up and make the effort to take care of things on your own in these situations, then the outcome is not good.

Do not throw away any opportunities to better educate yourself while searching for the right man. You never know how this knowledge can add to the quality of your marriage.

If you really want to be a SAHM you had better accept the fact that you might not be living in your dream house and furnishing it from Wayfair. Instead, to make life as comfortable as you can and make ends meet, you may be canning food, gardening, sewing, and scavenging thrift shops to re-purpose furniture. These are admirable skills, but they are skills that have to be learned and that takes time, so start to learn them now.

If you are not interested in this then you better find something you are good at that brings income into the household. Your beauty, your skills in the bedroom and your cooking may keep your man happy, but they won’t account for much, if times get hard. And nothing will ruin a marriage faster than money problems.

I am giving advice that I hope will give some young women a reason to pause and reexamine the reality of their expectations of what a marriage will entail. Do not expect any man to be your meal ticket, because the ones willing to do this are the men you will despise down the line.

I am not saying every woman should go to college. There are alternatives out there. Learn a skill. Skilled labor is becoming a rare commodity in both male and female pursuits. And some skills are interwoven. If you don’t want to work with a bunch of women, learn about carpentry or auto mechanics, or web design, or welding, or landscaping, and so on. The list goes on.

The best thing about finding something that sparks your interest enough to educate yourself is the excitement that comes along with it. It is something to think about when you are doing mundane tasks and it something that gives you a sense of purpose outside the expectations of everyday routine.
Furthermore, it makes you more interesting.

Before Covid hit the area where I live, there were many classes and workshops available at community colleges, continuing Ed courses at high schools and libraries, parks and museums that were affordable or free.

You don’t need a fortune to pursue an education in a skill or knowledge that interests you and it may pan out as a way to earn some income in the future. If you do decide to invest money in an education make sure you choose a field that offers a good chance of employment.

There are no white knights out there to rescue you. Your best bet to a good marriage is to bring skills and knowledge to the table that indicate that you are ready to pull your weight in the coming years.

edited to say thanks daniella thanks arkasia