Does anyone else fear wasting their youth on a man because they so often eventually cheat?

SecretFeminine · 2022-12-11T00:19:25+00:00

Info: how old are you? This concerns me less as I get older. And I am constantly dating my husband. There’s more to femininity and seduction than a young, hot body.

LateralThinker13 · 2022-12-11T00:23:03+00:00

The women who lose value as they age are those who coast on their youth and beauty - things that naturally decline. A wise woman cultivates other values to offset this.

Men do this already, by increasing their skills, competence, and financial worth over a lifetime. So what are YOU doing to improve your worth?

Because most men don't cheat at all, and those who do, generally dont out of an unfaithful nature: they do so out of neglect.

Perry-91 · 2022-12-11T18:32:09+00:00

As a male who has just come across this reddit and has similar views hello everyone!

From a man's eyes there are 2 major things.

Attracting them: Men value looks, youth and fertility. There are of course different factors as he might be older and already have kids so age and things are way less of a factor for him etc.
Keeping them attracted. This is where i feel the main stream media and feminists has misled women. This is where I will focus.

You keep them attracted by being feminine on the inside also. This is by how you act and dress, being a good sexual partner, looking after yourself and giving a damn, just like how he needs to be serious about his life and being a man and protector for you and your potential children.

You will disagree at times that is normal but not arguing with him every single step of the way, letting him lead and visibly showing that you will support him in what he does, EDIT: doing small gestures for him and verbally expressing your appreciation for what he does, because he probably doesn't get much from other people i.e at work where he probably spends moat of his time.

This will hold his attention and defy age as men are very attracted to femininity on the inside as well and this is intentionally missed out by the MSM.

thepretendchristian · 2022-12-11T01:32:35+00:00

Don’t lump all men in the same box.

Some men actually do want to be married and build a family. Most men don’t bother marrying at all unless they KNOW for a fact that’s the woman they are going to die with (most divorces are initiated by the woman).

PathfireNeon · 2022-12-11T13:46:25+00:00

i read this to my wife, and she said, “i think you’ve been meeting the wrong guys… because not all guys inevitably cheat.” we’ve been together married for 15 years, married when she was 23, and i would never 🥺

i gotta say the internets automatic assumptions that only men play games get to me sometimes…

sunglasses90 · 2022-12-11T00:32:37+00:00

No, it’s a legitimate fear. This is why it’s very important to secure a ring/marriage and not just a relationship/sex. Wives provide a lot more for their husbands and families than just a young hot body. Make sure you are learning how to be a wife.

While your fear is legitimate it also exists for the men. Plenty of men out their sacrifice for their wife and child and wife decides one day to cheat on him and divorce him and take half of his possessions and the kids.

mindyourown_biz · 2022-12-11T00:37:50+00:00

I'm 30 and I've never been cheated on (or cheated, for the record). I'm married, but I dated a lot in my younger years. It is not just to be expected. When men sense that you hold yourself in high esteem and you will not tolerate bad behavior they either live up to the standard or get scared off and go back to women they know they can mess around with.

Ill-Ad7948 · 2022-12-11T00:29:09+00:00

I do not have this fear at all. If you believe that all men cheat then you are doing yourself a disservice. Majority of men in the world are monogamous and do not like sharing nor being shared. I feel like once you understand men and people in general your fears will dissolve. Don’t listen to hateful people (of either gender). Discernment is all you need for choosing a spouse, making sure your values, morals, goals, and lifestyle align. You have to show up like the type of man you are trying to attract (don’t dress too revealing, don’t go to clubs, don’t do drugs, be physically active, be loving and kind, don’t be sexually promiscuous, have the qualities you look for in men, etc.) at this point just become conservative or religious😭. But seriously be who you are trying to attract, listen to the types of men you are trying to attract as well, they may have advice for the types of women they are looking for.

artwithapulse · 2022-12-11T09:11:10+00:00

“Choose well and treat kindly.”

This feeling lessens the older you get too ❤️

Cultural-Afternoon72 · 2022-12-11T08:12:56+00:00

An unfortunate percentage of humans are trash... trash knows no gender. That said, I think it's a fairly common thing to worry, at times, that you've wasted time with the wrong people. Having some level of insecurity is perfectly normal. I would say if it's a constant/regular thing, if it starts influencing your behaviors, or if the insecurities start to negatively impact you, it's worth talking to a professional about so you can get tools to keep those feelings in check when you need to.

SplenduhP0py · 2022-12-11T09:18:16+00:00

Believing all men cheat is already putting you in a bad state of mind. A lot of people cheat, both men an women, but a lot of people also don’t cheat.

A lot of man will still waste your time even if they never cheat which imo isn’t much better.

Speak your feelings to your potential partner your fears and wants. Let it be known as soon as stuff starts getting serious so theirs no misunderstanding.

JustaTcup · 2022-12-13T05:06:56+00:00

Oh my. I don't view men like this. Most men don't cheat and even the ones that do tend not to leave. It's us who file for divorce mostly. Men stay even when they're miserable usually. I've often found that cheating is the way some men cope with being miserable. Dead bedroom usually or wife lets herself go physically.

Stay attractive. Don't let yourself go. Watch after your weight. Don't drink or drug. Eat healthy. Take care of yourself. Stay pleasant. There's just no reason why you would have to suffer something that isn't even statistically probable.

He will still stay anyway even if you're not "ideal" but why do that to him and you to begin with? Just take care of yourself. Pretend you just met and you're still trying to impress him. Never give up that mindset and you'll both stay very happy.

Think about what you have to give and not so much about what you want to take.

CarabellesNotebook · 2022-12-11T00:09:25+00:00

I have this fear too

mindyourown_biz · 2022-12-11T02:30:48+00:00

I’ve never feared cheating but I do feel like I wasted my early 20s on a guy who was never going to marry me. He didn’t cheat on me that I’m aware of, but like he did monkeybranch at the end of our relationship 😬

SharpenedStinger · 2022-12-11T16:51:17+00:00

From a male perspective, we fear similar things. With how many options women have that are just a swipe away, we fear you'll eventually cheat as well at the slightest hint of trouble. We fear the grass is always greener mentality that so many young people have now because of online dating apps.

Puddles_Mary · 2022-12-11T17:09:09+00:00

The best thing you can do is vet. Trust is something that has to be built over time. And this is something you can definitely discuss with someone you're in a serious relationship with.

kaliflower77 · 2022-12-11T22:14:09+00:00

Yes I 100% have this lingering fear in the back of my mind at all times.

Asies36 · 2022-12-11T05:19:57+00:00

I don’t fear because my dumbass already wasted my youth on men that set me back in life from HS through college. So I guess it’s wasn’t about cheating that was an issue more so than the problem was them being broke or losers/unmotivated to do anything productive with their lives. I clearly had some type of daddy issues. Because those experiences scarred me I haven’t had any interest in dating since then

2022-12-13T05:58:03+00:00

The more you fear something, the more your mind implants that in your subconscious which then affects how you operate in life. Please choose love over fear. If you find a man and truly love him and want what’s best for him, you won’t fear him cheating. You’ll give him the space to communicate with you openly and honestly about his desires without you being reactionary to him. I think this is the best way to do things.

We can not control our men- even if we are doing all the right things- if a man wants to and can cheat, he probably will. If he is not worried about losing his access to sex, he will step out. If a man can be honest and vulnerable about his biological urges and desires and you don’t judge him, his love and devotion to you will only increase. He is a man, he is designed to spread is seed.

It is up to you to gamble- love is always a risk but can have great rewards. Do you want a man who is only as loyal as his options and will go behind your back? Or a man who is upfront with his desires and will disclose his actions while agreeing to very reasonable and smart terms that will decrease the risk of him leaving you for another woman or forming a connection with her.

Easy-Distance1 · 2022-12-11T06:31:56+00:00

Ahhh well if you marry in the top 20% of men ( it's really only them that tend to cheat, which women tend to confuse with all men cause they get the most attention from women ) which I could see being a potential issue. But I think you're more in fear of letting yourself go thus making his eye wonder. This is under the presumption this HVM would decide to marry you. Not a whole lot of up side these days with no fault divorce, virtually no upside for men & the failure rate surrounding it. TBH

Neither-Suggestion78 · 2022-12-11T04:26:37+00:00

I never give a man a reason to cheat. As I always let him lead in the relationship and I only am in relationships where there is true desire and chemistry. So basically nothing is off-limits, and I’ve learned that that’s the way I like it. Pleasing him pleases me and in return he gives me great pleasure.

I’ve never had a man cheat on me. I am 48 and in a relationship with a 42-year-old man. My longest relationship was a 20 year marriage. I have never had a ONS and all relationships long term and not a big number.

Don’t worry about wasting time if you are delirious for his touch and he is yours - otherwise run don’t walk away.

Also I am a very confident woman who works out daily. eats healthy and is an extreme athlete. It helps if you care for yourself as it gives you the confidence to do things you never thought you could or would and men are visual creatures.

Laurely4u · 2022-12-11T02:29:29+00:00

Ask your fiancé to put his house jointly into your name, then you can guess his levels of sincerity

2022-12-11T01:00:01+00:00

Men don’t just eventually cheat. Boys cheat.

kayama57 · 2022-12-11T01:29:42+00:00

I feel that the expectation of absolute monogamy is unrealistic and causes unnecessary strife. We sort of all need to grow out of our selfish bitterness and begin to speak more truthfully amongst each other about lust and love. Not that everybody needs to abandon exclusive relationships but just… the all or nothing bit is too divisive and unattainable, it’s too rigid of an expectation to really work for much of anybody

AutoModerator · 2022-12-11T00:03:03+00:00

Title: Does anyone else fear wasting their youth on a man because they so often eventually cheat?

Full text: I don’t know, I realize this is just insecurity talking. But men talk about how women lose value as we age and become less attractive, I can’t seem to shake the fear a man will use my best years and eventually abandon me for someone younger. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel worth it. I often think about resigning myself to a life of solitude in favor of having my heart inevitably broken when I’m no longer “ideal”

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bbs540 · 2022-12-11T19:47:13+00:00

That’s how I feel about women. I dated a lot from 14 to 20, but every single girl wronged me in one way or another, and a few of them cheated, so I stopped dating. Dated one girl in the last 6 years(26 now), and that didn’t last very long. Definitely much happier and far less stress this way, along with major improvements to myself mentally and physically. I’m not ready to create a family right now anyways, so there’s really no point other than avoiding loneliness, which risks pregnancy. I have 1-2 years left of college then maybe I’ll reconsider it

fatbitchonline · 2022-12-13T01:28:21+00:00

i totally relate to this! my boyfriend is a wonderful man who would never do this to me, but sometimes i just get that nagging insecurity because this is what we see so much of. honestly, when this happens, you just have to look at the person you love and think about how they’ve treated you. if they’ve been treating you the way you deserve, that worry starts to melt away and you’re left feeling silly and full of love. :)

Ray1975 · 2022-12-14T14:57:18+00:00

I think a bigger issue is that a lot of women let themselves go after getting comfortable in a marriage.

kadk216 · 2022-12-14T19:13:07+00:00

No. I love my husband and I am not scared he will cheat on me because he has earned my trust and never done anything to lose it. I used to be pretty insecure and had to learn to get over that. My husband has always been faithful and I have no reason to question it.

My husband’s mom actually cheated on my FIL for 10 years with one of his coworkers. If anything, I believe women are more likely to cheat because women have far more opportunities for sex. He, somehow, found a way to reconcile and forgive MIL (which is still crazy to me - but I understand why, my husband was only a toddler and it would’ve ripped the family apart). Most men are not cheaters.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2022-12-15T16:34:47+00:00

Cheating is sensationalized online. You like one post about a woman discussing her past partner’s infidelity and you get another 20 post on your feed about more cheaters.

Truth is cheating isn’t as common as the internet likes to make it out to be. But the internet will always talk about it because cheating videos get views

Margareydragonslayer · 2022-12-18T07:21:49+00:00

yes :(

weatherfrcst · 2022-12-26T15:07:24+00:00

No. Cheaters have many tells. They’re the ones that don’t have other standards in life. Also a man who understands sex doesn’t come from girlfriends but from wives, is less likely going to be a cheater

lizardscales · 2023-01-03T08:52:01+00:00

As I bond with a woman their physical features become what I prefer. A younger body is only superficially more attractive and do not have the physical features of the woman I have bonded with. I see women of all ages that I find attractive and what they have is the feminine form. If you can maintain your vitality and basic shape I wouldn't be worried on the physical front.

There is no way I would give up or cheat on a woman that I find attractive, that I have invested in and that I have bonded with for a younger woman.

Middle-Pepper-7521 · 2023-01-04T11:20:36+00:00

Most men don’t cheat bc most men don’t have options. 33% of men haven’t had sex since turning 18. Over 50% of men are single. Most men rarely get laid. What happen is woman ignore the average men and go with the most popular, sought out man by women, get surprised when he cheats, then blame most men for cheating. Most women that get cheated on have a nice guy that won’t cheat in the friend zone

Title	Does anyone else fear wasting their youth on a man because they so often eventually cheat?
Author	todorokiswife
Upvotes	101
Comments	67
Date	December 11, 2022 12:03 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/does-anyone-else-fear-wasting-their-youth-on-a-man.1142140 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142140
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/zi7xdc/does_anyone_else_fear_wasting_their_youth_on_a/