Femininity shouldn’t mean materialistic

chickenpork72 · 2020-01-05T19:19:25+00:00

Mrs. Midwest! She makes her own clothes sometimes, she thrifts a lot, shows her house, her kitchen etc.

Imaskinnybitchyall · 2020-01-05T20:22:28+00:00

I've always seen frugality as a virtue of femininity. Especially if she is a homemaker. To me, being good at budgeting and thrifting or making items is all part of being the wife and homemaker. You're still helping with finances even without a job.

szsunshine · 2020-01-05T19:29:48+00:00

I completely agree! I’m not sure what blogs you are referring to - I am turned off by Anna Bey’s school of affluence videos (she hasn’t married her rich boyfriend)! I think Dominique Sache has her own career and she also posts clothing in many price points.

I agree you should love your spouse whether he makes a large salary or not. I remember a Dr. Phil episode (even if you don’t like him) where his wife said when they married he didn’t have a lot of money, but she knew he would do whatever it took to support his family. I think THAT is the key. Can you love and support a man through job / salary loss? Yes. At the same time, I could not love or respect a man who didn’t bust his *ss trying to provide for his family. I guess a more accurate description of my values would be I love my H whether he was a baseball player making $10M a year or a high school phys Ed teacher and baseball coach making $40K a year. But in both cases the H is working hard and earning his salary.

In general, materialism and conspicuous consumption is not something that I value or admire. There is no shame in being rich, but flashiness and consumerism (unless the blogger has a product placement sponsor) is a sign of LV in my opinion.

Pola_Lita · 2020-01-06T02:12:08+00:00

I think it’s possible to dress feminine and take care of oneself without falling into materialism and excess. Those two things are damaging to the soul in my opinion, and as much as modern women dislike being seen as “objects”... this is exactly how many of them view men- precisely as tools only meant to give them the life they want.

It depends on how you're defining materialism and excess. Would it be 10% more than your husband's income allows you to enjoy? 30%? Twice as much?

Your definition of "modern women" matters too. Those who expect an education, independence and fulfilling careers would probably be less likely than any traditionally-minded woman to expect their living to come from a man.

I believe that you don't intend to be judgmental here, but imagine this opinion from someone with 1/3 of your family's income, your theories about the moral failings of wealthier women included, except you are now part of the group being judged. Most of life is relative.

ironsoul99 · 2020-01-06T03:50:45+00:00

Yep. Those blogs can be kind of hard to watch... well, that really goes for almost all “influencers.” My family is not as well off and I’m on a college budget, so sometimes watching people with a lot of things makes me feel left out and their content becomes unrelatable. I like Tiffany Beaston. You can tell she’s well off but she always posts about bargains and shops at Costco and Aldi, her recipes are always affordable. She does hauls on clothes I can ACTUALLY afford because they’re from TJ Maxx and Ross. I think she’s a real RPW but she doesn’t really talk about it... she just lives it out :) I remember I get so happy when I would just cook a 50¢ box of cornbread at home and light a candle while I was cleaning. It’s just the little things, for me.

wymone · 2020-01-05T19:24:08+00:00

Depending on how big these people are, the items may have been sent to them for that purpose. And that’s their job - to sell you things. It’s all ads. If it bothers you, best to start unfollowing these accounts.

stevierose789 · 2020-01-06T01:35:01+00:00

I am sometimes taken aback when I read about some of the beauty regiments that are mentioned here in some of the posts on self care. I hope it is money well spent, but I have my doubts. Cher once had a commercial where she said something along the lines of: If you could get a great body from a bottle, everyone would have one.

How long does botox really stave off aging? The cost and the health risks seem to outweigh the benefits. My sister had it done and it really changed her normal appearance. She had this kind of startled expression until it wore off.

I am not questioning things like manicures, hair dye, sunscreen, quality make-up, and so on. I just wonder about lash extensions, the obsession with eyebrows, and the other pricey procedures that seem so essential to a lot of women today. It is fine if you can afford it, but how many women use some of the grocery money to get it done?

lady_baphomet · 2020-01-06T02:15:39+00:00

I agree being less materialistic is a positive trait to possess and more women could benefit from being more grateful for what they already have; and stop comparing themselves to the lives of the people on Instagram, considering 95% of the content is staged & edited to look much better than the reality.

However, with that, I disagree with religion being a factor in how materialistic or red-pilled a woman is. There are just as many materialistic and low-value Christian wives out there as well. Religion does not automatically make one more or less moral or good, it is one's choices and actions that dictate if they are a good person/wife, not faith alone.

lilacgirl_ · 2020-01-05T19:26:15+00:00

[deleted]

teaandtalk · 2020-01-06T02:28:22+00:00

Do you follow kellyhavensohio on Instagram? You might like her.

HB3234 · 2020-01-07T01:19:50+00:00

I think one missing element here is when you live RPW, your partner often starts performing better in all aspects, often earns more, and nearly always sees you as integral to that success. And so he wants to provide the best he can for you. Some men express that materially.

I love shiny stuff. I am like a crow. My stuff is CZ/glass but it makes me happy. My fiance got my the loveliest diamond band for Christmas because he knows my love of all things sparkly. I would never have asked for diamonds as a gift! But you bet your buttons I haven't taken it off!!!

Kara__El · 2020-01-05T21:08:59+00:00

I think this topic is really subjective. While I might scoff at designer brand clothing, purchasing mine from Kohl's and Target and Ross, I do have new, very nice furniture, for my 2,300 square foot house on over an acre of land. My husband and I almost never eat out or go on expensive outings, one of my few luxuries is midrange makeup, and we only have one very low car payment, but I have a $2500 laptop and he has a new deep freeze in the garage.

What might seem like luxury to you is just someone else's standard of living, where they want to put their money. My husband has friends living in a much older, smaller house than ours, and they make similar money. They also drive new cars and eat out all the time. That's their choice. It's not wrong. It's just not mine.

Zegiknie · 2020-01-05T20:36:40+00:00

This is so moralizing it's annoying. I believe being materialistic to an extent is inherently feminine - because materials make for security for our kids.

Let it be known I married my husband when he was still unemployed and we spent years and years living in unsafe neighborhoods before the money came in. I wore second hand and hand-me-down for years, and so did my firstborn out of necessity. I am not consumerist, and still wear some hand-me-downs while husband makes 6 figures nowadays. The kids still wear them mostly. So this isn't me being personally defensive. I am a nature fanatic, and I pick weeds for dinner. You don't see me with fancy purses (I don't even wear one, I have pockets or a stroller or a backpack).

The thing about women who like nice things, is they're called nice things for a reason. They ARE nice. Some of them (gold jewelry) have traditionally been sound investments. They represent securities. And that's why we want strong men. Same thing.

And while you may not be greedy in this particular sense, you're still greedy in another - otherwise you wouldn't be here. You would settle for a meh lovelife like the rest out there. With a meh man. But you want more out of life. So do the girls with the shinies.

RPW isn't about xtian values. They just happen to overlap sometimes. You have a right to be turned off by people with different values, but you don't have a right to go cliqey with RPW like this. You're not required to help or like golddiggers, but don't rally the other girls to try and ostracize them.

jayval90 · 2020-01-06T17:53:33+00:00

Those two things are damaging to the soul in my opinion, and as much as modern women dislike being seen as “objects”... this is exactly how many of them view men- precisely as tools only meant to give them the life they want.

This was one of the things that destroyed a lot of American marriages starting in the 50s, which added fuel to the fire of feminism and a lot of other social ills. It's why I often argue in favor of young commitment, before either one of them is established. Yes that has its own problems (mostly related to FOMO), but if that commitment is made to each other before other things and expectations cloud the judgement, it makes the bond that much stronger.

Muchadoaboutcass · 2020-01-06T05:23:39+00:00

So well said. To add to that, as a single woman, I think it’s very, very easy to fall into the trap of believing that the material things a man has to offer means the more he’s high value. This is just not true.

A man’s value stems from his belief system, the way he treats himself, his friends, and the woman of his interest. To think, “but he bought me this that cost this much, so that means he loves me” could lead to something terrible.

Since I’m subverted by post modernity I like new things, and I feel myself be swayed by materialistic things to make myself feel better. Shopping when I’m depressed to feel better is an example. But I know we must fight against it.

I’d rather live a modest life style with my future husband and children (where we spend time playing music together, playing games, camping outside) than one filled with material goods.

All in all, I’d rather my husband spend time with me than money. Build me something rather than buy me something. Show me he loves me by his actions rather than his cheque book.

Also, when it comes to femininity, we do not have to wear loads of make up or dress like a Stepford wife. Expensive doesn’t mean beautiful.

Indeed, all one needs is a healthy lifestyle (non smoker and small amounts of alcohol, good diet and exercise),long hair, healthy nails, natural looks, and modesty. They are very very feminine.

Also, kindness! When we’re warm and kind and sunny, it’s very hard to forget we’re women :)

Excellent post OP!

sebastianconcept · 2020-01-06T10:44:32+00:00

Spiritual or not, being an hedonistic exhibitionist narcissist removes one whole point of SMV at least.

ATrueLady · 2020-01-05T23:08:47+00:00

Idk I make a lot of money myself so i can afford to buy expensive luxury goods but I still work from home and raise my son at the same time. I worked really hard to get into the position I’m in to be able to this and I’m not using my hubby as a tool.

Materialism, to some extent at least is inherit in human nature. As we evolved those who were capable of getting the best - let’s say best garden, or best hunter, best fisher, best sewer held some sort of status as they accumulated goods others couldn’t. It doesn’t make it right but that sentiment grew into what we call materialism today.

Lilviscious · 2020-01-06T16:01:41+00:00

I'm not materialistic by nature and neither is my long term SO, but I can relate to women who flaunt the items they've been given or are able to purchase, because indirectly it shows they are (financially) being taken care of quite well. To me this feels like a signal from women to women, boosting their self worth by showing off what good a man they have. And if their husbands enjoys this behaviour, it is a win-win for those women. People are often more concerned about the opinion of others than concerned about what makes them truly happy. I'm not bothered by it, honestly. I don't share those values and that's fine.

hattiehalloran · 2020-01-07T04:15:00+00:00

It makes sense why women, including and sometimes especially feminine women, are materialistic. It's in our nature to hoard, organize, and showcase. That is why most hoarders and compulsive shoppers are women. It's a survival instinct that is not always suited for our consumerist society.

turnipthebunbun · 2020-01-06T13:01:42+00:00

Something you learn very quickly about Instagram is aesthetics and illusions are the names of the game.

If you see someone on Instagram who has a feminine/housewife look to her Instagram, chances are she is most likely giving off the illusion and physical appearance of a feminine housewife, without having the characteristics of a feminine woman.

This applies to any group of people. You might see an account of a guy who has an anti-establishment punk rock look to him, but knows nothing of the scene he is emulating. This is called having an 'aesthetic'.

It's a shame to see women have the illusion of being a feminine housewife, because it cheapens what it means to be one.

Title	Femininity shouldn’t mean materialistic
Author	lilacgirl_
Upvotes	174
Comments	52
Date	January 5, 2020 7:09 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/femininity-shouldnt-mean-materialistic.304242 https://theredarchive.com/post/304242
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ekhfis/femininity_shouldnt_mean_materialistic/