~ archived since 2018 ~

"friend" not so friendly after knowing my views

July 29, 2020

This is more of a mutual girl friend, we went to school together and had hung out in groups, but we didn't talk much (although it was always friendly and fun when we did!)

I don't yell from the rooftops about disliking feminism, and not thinking men are evil toxic monsters, and I dont share those views unless asked. (crazy that "men are decent" is controversial now) I remember engaging in banter about feminism on a mutual friends facebook and she privately messaged me to ask "If I was serious of if that was a joke?" um yeah... I told her im serious. she asked one or two questions which remained civil and then continued to not talk to me for years. Which I didn't really notice since we don't talk much anyways.

But I guess she had it in mind still, yesterday she messaged me to ask if I "still held my views" and I took of time to explain some of my views (all friendly like, nothing too serious) and she responded "gross. You are the only person I would consider a friend who thinks that way and I wanted to see if it changed."

How rude of a person can you be? I guarantee if I said "ugh I was so wrong in the past, men are evil and you were right!" we would have had a long friendly discussion! But this is so weird - was I on some sort of silence punishment until my views changed?

Ive been trying to make new friends lately and also trying to be more open about my lifestyle and views with them - but situations like this are so discouraging to trying to be my open self :( Has this sort of thing happened to you and are you ladies open with your friends?

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/RedPillWomen.

/r/RedPillWomen archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title "friend" not so friendly after knowing my views
Author soggycurls
Upvotes 125
Comments 30
Date July 29, 2020 4:45 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link
Red Pill terms in post

[–]CuppyBees59 points60 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I try not to talk about my views with the few friends of mine who don't agree with them, however if they want to start a conversation about it I don't mind if it's civil. What this girl said back to you would get a "yikes. Bye then!" from me lol. No point in trying to explain my, in my opinion, very reasonable beliefs with people who have already decided I'm wrong. Especially if she's going to be rude with you like that.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Deleting all social media was one of the best decisions I ever made. I'm too busy living my life to argue about stuff like this with people I don't even care about or really know at all. It frees up a lot of time and mental energy. I find I'm happier and more present for what matters. It's worth considering if you find yourself feeling this frustrated on a regular basis.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Me too, I deleted all social media and am much happier. X

[–]tofurainbowgarden9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm totally not trying to be mean. I completely agree with what you said but it's just kind of funny because reddit is a social media site

[–]Pezotecom18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a forum. Not the same thing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. It calls itself social networking, but considering a primary rule is "no doxxing," I feel like it's apples and oranges.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, I don't know any of you people. I don’t feel like I have to compete or report anything. If I feel like someone has the tendency to pick fights, it's no big deal to block them. I can disappear for months and it doesn't matter. No one from high school or work is reading my posts for gossip fodder. We're not posting photos to garner attention or criticize each other. I think it's entirely different from Facebook or Instagram.

Reddit definitely falls under the header of AOL style message boards for me. It's extremely specialized discussions with total strangers.

Edit: The way I use it, of course. I only really have any discussions here. I have another Reddit name where I watch adorable cat videos.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not really tbf. It's a forum x

[–]Think4Yoself48 points49 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think your mindset is backwards. Every time you learn something about somebody it's a good thing. In this case, you learned that she's a person who bases her entire world view on prejudices, especially the kind of prejudices that absolve her of responsibility for the failure to form meaningful relationships with the men in her life. If the other people involved are monsters by definition, then it certainly can't be her fault things have worked out.

You should be happy to learn that about her and learn that she's not the type of person you want to spend any time with. You are viewing it as discouraging that somebody who has the view exists. That might be true, but it isn't your job to fix everybody. You should view it as encouraging that you learned she's not the type of person you want to be closer with and you can invest that time and energy into developing friendships with her higher quality people.

[–]pm_me_milk_caramels11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have only a few girl friends and I can openly talk about the issues discussed here with one of them (haven't tried the others). She doesn't know the term "red pill" nor do I feel the need to introduce her to it, but we almost always agree on topics like femininity, wanting a "leader" for a boyfriend/husband etc. And if we don't, we're able to still respect each other's opinion. I feel really lucky to have her.

We're in Central Europe though, so it's probably different here than in America - although there's a fair share of radical feminists here too.

And agreed, it's surreal to me that "men are trash" is the default opinion for so many women nowadays. I get it, there are men who are disgusting human beings, and others that just aren't great, but can you imagine openly generalizing all women like this?

[–]sideofcheeses12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

On the whole, this is the issue with leftists, if you don’t share their views, then you’re against them. I would rather never have another friend again then talk to anyone, female or male, with that viewpoint. It’s ok to have differing opinions on things, as long as you are both civil to one another, imagine how boring the world would be if we all thought exactly the same!? Sit together and what? Agree with each other on every topic just nodding and stroking each other’s egos that were so clever and right? There are of course ‘deal breakers’ in any friendship, but when did it become so wrong to have different views and discuss them? I’m not shouting from the rooftops my ideals but if someone doesn’t like me for who I am then what? Be you, and you will find your ‘people’.

[–]throwawayhouseissue15 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Small-minded people need to be surrounded by people who think the things they do. People who are more self confident are perfectly fine being around people who have different points of view, and even engaging them to learn and understand them. That is how we grow and become well-rounded individuals who can be confident in our beliefs and our path in life.

[–]Immuchtooawesome11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Does she look happy and fulfilled? Genuinely curious.

I often wonder if the haters live happy lives or if they are subconsciously living out a crabs in the bucket mentality.

[–]m0n463 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes absolutely. That sounds like a validationship not a friendship; something I learnt to discern especially this past tumultuous year.

[–]OldManMofo3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Miss Soggy, no matter what ya do, you'll always have haters...unless of course you send your trained murder hornets after them.

[–]melissasue224770 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Hmmmm..... do tell more..

[–]OldManMofo1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Well, no matter how a person lives their life there will be someone who does not like them. So just do what makes you content.

[–]melissasue224770 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was referencing the trained murder hornets...

[–]OldManMofo1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Welp, trained murder hornets might solve a few problems. I am pretty sure I could finally go to the store without people bothering me if I had murder hornets sitting on my shoulders.

[–]melissasue224770 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Its really only intimidating when they swarm.

[–]OldManMofo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This made me gigglesnort for real. Thank you VERY much. Take care.

[–]sivisamarii4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

One of my worst fears honestly. I’ve had friends indirectly insult my beliefs and interests, and I’ve just kept my mouth shut.

But part of any change in life means some people won’t be along for the ride. When you want to improve yourself, the people who don’t fall to the wayside

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Second paragraph is on point.

[–]DunboyCastleInTheSky2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It hasn’t happened to me, but I’m afraid it will. I have female friends who struggle to get a male partner and when they ask for advice or tell me about a situation, I respond in a courteous, inbetween red pill type of way. I’m certain the only reason they haven’t hung me out to dry is because they hold some conservative views as well (along with their families).

If I were you, I’d unfriend her and try again with others.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has happened to me a lot, but I've always been a march to the beat of my own drum sort of guy, so it's never bothered me. Keep in mind that people do grow up and change. Also, if she came back to this discussion after all that time, there's definitely more going on there than just wanting to see if you still had those views. Chances are she is doubting her own views to some degree.

I'd just drop one of those concise retorts that just stick in your head for ages like "You're pretending to have the moral high ground while also being unable to have a civil conversation with someone who disagrees with you. Clinging to an echo chamber never made anyone a wise or moral person. No hard feelings though. Take care of yourself, Karen."

[–]iLiveInAHologram941 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would try to be sympathetic that she lives with so much hate, fear, and dash of immaturity / gall to speak to you like that. That sucks though and I’m so sorry you were talked down to like that. Keep in mind she may have experienced some kind of trauma and is jaded. I’m sorry about your experience though she treated you poorly. Not a worthy friend to have I suppose

[–]rjw2230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Majority of my friends don’t know my views. A lot of them are quite vocally feminist. I tend not to bring it up unless specifically asked - I really can’t be bothered with the argument.

[–]bigheadlex14140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Folks have preconceived notions of everything. If you want to tell others about your self just don’t say you a red pill woman say you think men can be decent and lead to the red pill title. Personally I’m stepping away from deep red pill stuff because there is a lot of deep hidden toxicity in there but regardless explain you position and morals before your title so they understand you and don’t assume instead

[–]RocknRollFairy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ha. This is why I am 28 with no friends my age. It's hard to meet people who are conservative and think this liberal trend is annoying and dangerous. When I was living in South of France about 3 years ago - I joined a roller derby team there and got along with the French girls even though there was a language barrier - that was UNTIL I added some of them on Facebook and I dont normally post political stuff on there but I had shared a Trump post about something (I forgot) and one of the girls commented and was being rude and sarcastic which prompted the other girls to follow suit. They were femi-nazi's. I never went back to the team because of it and I was super bummed that I had finally found a fun sport I could play in my boring town and the fact that I had "friends"......

It's really sad and somewhat angering that people base relationships on political views. Obviously, I will not have much in common with a hardcore liberal who goes to protests every weekend and is part of ANTIFA but I wouldnt mind talking to them about their views - as I'd be genuinely curious and would ask questions.

Though most conservative YOUNG women are not extremists. And many of us are NOT feminists. Unfortunately - this happens in other countries, too. Who knew French girls cared so much about Trump......

[–]squideye620 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A couple of my female friends disagree with what I believe. I just don't discuss the topic with them as much as possible, but when I do, we keep it light-hearted and banter-like. We've mutually agreed that it's okay to disagree which is important for maintaining harmony in a friendship.

Coincidentally, my two best guy friends agree with what I believe, which I think speaks for itself.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2023. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter