Friendship broken because of 'feminism'

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T06:05:49+00:00

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Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T06:08:18+00:00

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Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T08:28:11+00:00

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vintagegirlgame · 2020-09-14T07:52:25+00:00

Feminism is all about choice!

As long as your choice fits their political agenda.

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T08:41:49+00:00

She either can't comprehend that sound logic can lead to a different opinion than one she holds (she also uses sound logic to come to hold the beliefs she holds I'm sure) or she is incredibly insecure in her beliefs and your way of life is causing it to show/feel like she's being attacked/bringing out some jealousy.

What I would do in your situation:

If she unblocks you, don't apologise to her as she might expect one. Simply tell her that this way of life and viewing the world makes you happy/contented and you value her way of life just as much as it must make her feel happy/contented. If she can't accept her friend being happy, good riddance.

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T12:12:45+00:00

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Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T07:57:06+00:00

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Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T13:32:05+00:00

Unfortunately not everybody has the maturity to have friends with different beliefs. They want to maintain their echo chamber. I'm so sorry this happened to you. In the end, it's her choice. She's the one who threw away the friendship, and you didn't do anything wrong here.

mhandanna · 2020-09-14T13:04:14+00:00

Modern feminism is a cult (if you study the history it has always been a cult from Senneca Falls founding onwards, and the 2nd wavers who shape all modern feminism today e.g. Mackinon, Millet, Dworkin etc had PTSD, severe trauma, often full psychiatric conditions (the reason I say this is not to stigmatise these conditions at all but to highlight their works were done will mentally unwell and this affected their work, their work was then absorbed by and became modern feminsim e.g. Millet invented modern patriachy theory) but at least it was doing something back then so its ok to take good with the bad - i.e. it was reacting to the changes in technology [e.g. better healthcare (global life expectancy in 1800's was 30 for men and women), drastically lower maternal and infant mortality, proper sanitary products and medications, public toilets [which particularly helpe women], and later contraception, safe abortion, domestic appliances] - all of which meant that womens roles could now change to take advantage of this technology (contrary to feminsits narrative it was not a brutal opressive regieme keeping women down, it was largely technology and the reality of life e.g. you would be lucky to live to age 30, and briefly, no feminism did not get women the vote, and 99% of most men could not vote either and were dying in coal mines or ripped apart limb from limb in wars or slave labourers [when what was the UN at the time banned slavery it did so for everyone apart from working age men] they were not oppressive burgeoise kings living the highlife as doctors, scientists, explorers... infact rich white women did all of those things). Yes feminism then still had tonnes of extremism, intolerance, even violence and terrorism and murder, research fraud, fauty logic but you can take the good and the bad.... now its just all bad.... the few sane ones e.g. Christina Hoff Sommers are not considered feminsits and are kicked out of feminism and receive this treatment (and of course death threats, rape threats by other feminists etc):

https://youtu.be/Ha2E5aQ7yb8

(These feminsits are going to be lawyers :-\ ughhh)

PettyPuritan · 2020-09-14T09:55:51+00:00

This sounds a whole like cancel culture. A lot of feminists and liberals are taught this ridiculous ideology that they should become combative with people and strongly assert their views. If met with disagreement, cut this person out of your life. It looks like you were the byproduct of this ridiculous concept.

Let her be. Feminism in its current state is not sustainable. She will realize the errors in her ways...you can’t go around being a disgusting loud mouth slob that puts zero effort into your grooming habits, external appearance and personality and expect a guy to be interested in you...all while expecting men to be subservient but strong when you want them to be.

In the meantime, keep working on improving yourself and find and befriend other likeminded women.

She will crash and burn before she learns. I know I did.

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T06:15:34+00:00

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jakethegreatwhite · 2020-09-14T13:41:16+00:00

I broke up with a girl before because she was becoming radicalized in hs, she even said it was okay to hit men, i for one didn't want to stick around

LateralThinker13 · 2020-09-14T13:54:08+00:00

Don't sweat it. When you deal with cult members, it's very hard to avoid talking about the cult, and they aren't going to be reasonable about it. Sooner or later this happens... or they leave the cult.

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T17:00:19+00:00

She didn't need to be associated with you in the first place. Modern Feminists are like a tumor that originated from the USA and are now spreading in other parts of the world.

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T19:43:02+00:00

This happens to both women and men when they become more traditional. I lost a friend of 10 years when I met my now husband because she didn't agree with some of the changes she saw in me.

Ultimatecringemaster · 2020-09-14T11:30:42+00:00

I consider myself to be a hardcore feminist, but weirdly enough have more conservative than liberal friends. However I've had a falling out with 2 of my liberal friends cause I refuse to denounce my friends on the right. I don't understand why people have to constantly surround themselves with people of the same ideology. I hate talking about politics and religion with my conservative friends but dammit they enrich my life in so many other ways. I hate how people try to create echo chambers of sorts...:-|

blooregardine · 2020-09-14T06:18:34+00:00

It's always good to get those things out of your system. I'm even grateful for that post, it shows me I'm not the only one in similar situation!

In my case, one of my more feminist friend is getting angry at me (in a very passive-agressive manner), whenever I say something not along her point of view. Especially on topic of dating advice, or living with man. I just let it go and back off from those discussions, cos nobody will convince anybody to change their point of view. I think red pill is something you just have to learn by experience, and be willing to do so. I've noticed, that my feminist friends are not willing to that, that's their choice. I won't try to convince them, there is no point.

Lead by example. That works better, from my experience.

It's normal to feel sad about it, losing a friend is never pleasant experience. But in general, I think it's good, you won't have any pointless disscusions anymore, and you will feel better about yourself without this kind of person around. You can put your energy and time into your hobbies or whatever you want.

You will get over it, don't worry. I wish you all the best :)

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T11:58:50+00:00

This is sadly a common problem. It hurts a lot, and knowing you’re in the right doesn’t help that.

Ultimately, having friends with similar values can be hard to find but it’s worth it. Even more to the point, friends who like YOU, rather than someone who agrees with them on everything; and care for you enough to respect your opinions even when they differ, is something every self respecting person should pursue.

It’s a good idea to grieve. You’ll get over it eventually, but there’s no rush. Feel the sadness. Sorry this happened.

amadexodus · 2020-09-14T12:17:12+00:00

Hon, I get you, and I know exactly how you feel. This.....is painful. The vast majority of my friends from college on the East Coast are not just feminists but hardcore left-wing and very intolerant. None of them know my political/social views for sure, and I've worked hard to keep it that way.

It doesn't come out of nowhere, this fracturing of friendships you forged when you were younger. I've had some great times and some hard times with my college friends, and I never ever thought that I'd want to drop them. But as I started digesting the Red Pill, things changed, and I felt like the odd one out. It started with being the only one looking classy and done up with makeup and a dress when we went out, and it progressed into having to hold my tongue while these same friends told me about poor sexual choices they made and how they hated men/religious conservatives and a whole bunch of other things, lest I tell them they're wrong and have the friendships fall apart.

Disagreement is one thing; intolerance and genuine hate for the people you disagree with is another thing. Sooner or later, these "friends" screaming at you will be screaming at each other like a snake eating its tail.

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T13:03:43+00:00

Friendship breakups are the worst when they happen, but they're also almost always eventually for the best.

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T13:55:45+00:00

Is it okay if I ask what it was she was so adamant on talking about?

lavachequirie · 2020-09-14T14:58:21+00:00

If she wants to be friends again, I’d say not to. Feminist or not, it’s really horrible that a friend would treat you that way. My best friend is also a feminist and she respects my views. She and I can have conversations where our views differ without fighting, and that’s how healthy adults are. Unfortunately there’s not many people like that now days.

nikitaaj · 2020-09-14T15:23:02+00:00

I think we need more detail here. If her feminism was invalidating you, that’s a problem. Or the other way around.

Disagreeing is totally necessary in relationship and friendship on things like which dress is cuter, where should we eat, what movies we like or even who we want to hang out with.

But when it comes to “moral” issues - for many people it’s too hard to find middle ground if one persons view is bigoted or hurting someone else.

For example, if I were super pro life, it might be hard for me to forgive my friend for constantly having abortions.

Or if I believe women aren’t meant to be successful because it’s the man’s job, and my friend is super successful and hurt because she’s deals with sexism at work, she probably is going to be offended and deeply HURT by my “differing opinions.”

SouthDakotaCornbread · 2020-09-14T16:07:51+00:00

I mean, what you have to realize is that she's not a true friend. It's difficult, but a foundational principle of having a real friend is you can be yourself and they'll accept you for that.

I have a friend who is an extreme liberal, and we disagree about everything, but can still discuss it or not as the case may be.

honeyholeyum · 2020-09-14T17:24:50+00:00

As someone who considers themselves pretty left leaning myself, I need to reaffirm that you're in the right, even if the feeling of losing a 'best friend' on a shit note to something so trivial is awful.

I find that when conflicting political views comes up in my valued relationships I'd much rather agree to disagree with them and continue with another topic than I would to stand on a soapbox and treat someone I care about like an idiot for simply not agreeing on a few things that's already out of both of our control to begin with.

I feel your ex friend didn't really view you as a best friend because is she did she would of done the same courteousy you did for her and simply moved past very mundane disagreements instead of using you as some political punching bag. All my love to you op, ik it truly hurts to see someone you considered a best friend for a long time change so quickly infront of your eyes.

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T21:51:47+00:00

I’m a feminist and a red pill woman.

eazolan · 2020-09-14T23:58:08+00:00

Try to keep people in your life, that make your life better.

nirvananas · 2020-09-14T11:10:56+00:00

-i am not trying to troll here- but could someone explain to me how different are feminism to Red pill woman? As i understand Red pill (for men) it s partially about Game and partially about deriving personal worth from self love,respect and improvement. If I were to apply these element to woman I would arrive at something I see close to feminism (self love, respect for oneself, recognition of self worth and personal value behind the too often required sexiness ask by men) So in which way Row and feminism are different ? Cause it seems I don t have my definition right

Pezotecom · 2020-09-14T12:27:46+00:00

I've blocked a ton of friends with whom I disagreed. It's not just a matter of understanding and tolerating different view points, it's about praxis.

If she's a hardcore feminist and really believes the things she claims, then having a friend who is actively being submissive, looking to be a SAHM, etc is literally hypocrite and contradictory. It's just what it is. Nothing wrong with it.

You should find yourself friends this way: want to go drinking? drinking friends. Want to discuss gender dynamics? red pill friends, etc. If you mix them together and start talking about things you are not supposed to, there will be chaos. And if you value a friend MUCH more than that, then you should read about what they are talking, understanding it to its core so that the motherfucker finally shuts the fuck up, given the fact that not only you got interested in their stupid ideology but you are now smarter than them so there's actually no fucking thing to speak about.

brownsnake84 · 2020-09-14T11:16:30+00:00

Times like this I like to take a little slice of advice from Mr. Casablanca of the Strokes

"Oh dear, can't you see? It's them it's not me We're not enemies We just disagree"

Sorry for the rubbish outcome.

squatternutboshh · 2020-09-14T14:03:44+00:00

Yeah this is currently happening to me.

JimiJons · 2020-09-14T14:46:08+00:00

If she is more detrimental to your mental health as a friend than she is as a stranger, let her go.

mackveg · 2020-09-14T18:57:13+00:00

What was it about anyway?

Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T21:36:59+00:00

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Sambhavi_5 · 2020-09-14T21:51:31+00:00

How exactly did she scream through texts

TheLemming · 2020-09-14T23:11:09+00:00

For what it's worth, I'm a guy, and a number of feminist identifying women (formerly) in my life have also blocked me, some for years, for reasons that no matter how much I contemplate them, they seem thin. It seems like part of the feminist movement right now involves lots of blocking of everyone.

TranslatedSky · 2020-09-16T05:14:29+00:00

People who feel so strongly about something that they need to impose it on others usually are going through some unresolved issues themselves. By not being convinced to her worldview, you are threatening her reality.

Unfortunately you cannot fix this nor point this out. Either she will realise some day and regret, or find other people who will hold up the illusion for her. Your job right now is to tell yourself, que sera sera, and find more mature respectful friends.

kfree313 · 2020-09-15T01:05:54+00:00

Being a true woman means leaving a few behind

Title	Friendship broken because of 'feminism'
Author	Sambhavi_5
Upvotes	109
Comments	113
Date	September 14, 2020 5:04 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/friendship-broken-because-of-feminism.307125 https://theredarchive.com/post/307125
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/isei03/friendship_broken_because_of_feminism/