~ archived since 2018 ~

GTFU. Grow The F*** Up.

September 6, 2020

RPW, I used to write a lot about girl game and femininity in this sub. I’ve taken a hiatus from writing - mostly to continue on with my life - but to also grow as a lady, to grow as a woman. What does it mean to be a mature woman in the modern age, where youth seems to be a security blanket that haunts us as we get older? How can we be both mature, responsible, and fun? We talk about being that hot, bubbly, fun girl, but is she also wife material? How can we safely and productively combine the adult qualities with the energetic innocence that keeps us excited about life?

GTFU. Not GTFO, not STFU. GTFU. Grow The F*** Up.

[1] Discover your personality outside of your career. Our careers are not our personalities, they are simply either (depending on you) a money-making role, or a status-role that labels you as a contributing member of society. But regardless of your monetary assets or your job title, who are you? What makes you excited about life? If you didn’t have your job, what kind of books or activities would you partake in? That is your personality, and that is the part of you that our men like to know.

[2] Learn how to nurture others. Men seek a wife who can also be a counselor and lend a listening ear. Learn to sympathize, and don’t fuck it up by bringing the conversation back to yourself again. This is a true test of your consideration towards your man. Can you listen to him, sympathize with him, and when he needs it, advise him? The maternal nurturance of affection (physical and emotional affection) is the maturity that men crave in a partner. It is the “Agnes” quality (in David Copperfield), it is the blessed, emotional matriarchal quality that men so insanely desire in addition to the physical beauty of women. A man cannot fully dedicate himself to you unless you are able to show him sympathy and wisdom.

[3] Read and expand your vocabulary to develop your self-expression. A mature woman requires strong communication skills: she has eloquence, she is articulate, she possesses social grace. Practice writing, practice small-talk, practice the discussion of topics (especially ones that you are passionate about!) Don’t be one of those women who brings her rants and complaints everywhere. Practice talking about topics and ideas, rather than the petty negative elements of daily life.

[4] Find your sass! As women, we have something called our animus (or our masculine qualities, in which every single woman has, in order to become wholly functioning). Women can be adventurous, mischievous, spirited (because who wants to be boring?) - and this kind of fire can energize your partner and within your own life. Find that inner imp inside of you. That is the life-force in you: your wit, your character, your enthusiasm, your morale. Infuse your actions with your warmth and vigor. Your man will appreciate it. Don’t be a doormat; no, I’m sorry: REFUSE to be a doormat. Instead, be FUN.

[5] Abolish your negativity. We don’t need a thesis to know that men don’t like to be around negative women (actually, nobody likes to be around a downer, period!) This skill requires gradual and long-term growth, as being kind and optimistic is a practice of values that occurs over time. If you struggle with negative rumination, then meditate, get psychotherapy, practice self-care, journal, whatever it is you need to do to stop being obsessed with negativity...bottom line: eradicate that nastiness!

[6] Develop a quiet, inner strength. You are a full-fledged adult woman. Women can be beautiful and strong, soft and strong, feminine and strong, graceful and strong, loving and strong. To be feminine is not to be weak, it merely is an indicator of either your physical image or the methodology of how you approach things (Do you approach with empathy or rigidity? Do you approach with fun and flair or with harsh aggression? Do you approach with laughter or anger? Do you approach by sitting still or by hunting?)

Now get out there, ladies, and be the best, beautifully vivacious woman you can be.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/RedPillWomen.

/r/RedPillWomen archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title GTFU. Grow The F*** Up.
Author vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes 253
Comments 26
Date September 6, 2020 5:25 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link
Red Pill terms in post

[–]JaneDope52927 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Boom. Still learning here. Thanks for this post!

[–]AshleyAndretti19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Been living by this the last few years. Men love all these points I promise you. They'll be stalking you. Lol use these super powers carefully haha

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]fairydust913 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post. That first point hit home way more than it should. I spent five years defining myself by my job. I quit three months ago and was pleasantly reminded I used to be fun before, I had hobbies ffs. Definitely needed to read this, thank you so much.

How would one practise small talk? I will admit to hating it with a passion (I wish hairdressers & nail techs could just do their job in silence) but I understand its importance. How would one try to improve this?

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Small talk - practice bantering with anyone that you know. It'll flow from there, if they're on the same wave length. Literally just practice saying things out loud and expressing yourself. That's how conversations start and flow.

[–]cebollofor11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great job 🥰, I always hear in this sub that woman need to be submissive completely and just follow the lead... is not completely like that a strong male role all ways love to hear the opinion and consul of her loved wife, because we are in the same team and both heads think better than one, I always make the final decision but before that take in complete consideration what my partner wants, don’t be a floor mat a strong man don’t want a floor mat, he want a strong support and happy partner, lovely ladies became the best you can and your men will love you for that.

[–]Jiatingzhufu6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love this! I’m 19, so I’m glad I have this sub to guide me in becoming the best adult I can be

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The concept of "self-mothering" is key here - start to rely on your own inner strengths. For sure, we all need support, but in order to be a functioning couple, us ladies have to be strong and capable. You'll get there, it merely takes time and experience.

[–]Hecatenight4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love the post. I used this advice when I quit drinking at age 47. I was going through quite a midlife crisis and still relying on looks for my self worth, still wanting my husband to respond to me through my looks, and he did still. But when I sobered up, it was that soft wisdom, peace, and comfort with self I was seeking. Nearing 50, I wanted to be a graceful zen older mother figure for all, not the drunk, careless grasping midlife woman. Still really like making sure I look good though, lol. I’m 50 now and getting rid of alcohol in my life while having these goals has helped a lot of this materialize for me.

[–]ashless4011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is good advice for any age, race, sex or gender. People all around need to be a little less self absorbed sometimes.

[–]sierrawag2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love this!! ❤️💗

[–]lakeside_shewolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great content, thank you!

[–]delight29850 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Needed to hear this today, thank you!

[–]clitorophagy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good list

[–]boiiihowdy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What a great reminder!

[–]DenimRaptNightmare0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very good post.

[–]RPW_throwaway-3 points-2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Disagree with the value of learning small talk. It wastes everyone's time.

[–]LanaTownsend6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Small talk serves a purpose. Not every verbal discourse has to be thought-provoking, deep and introspective, especially when it comes to new people. Virtually all meaningful relationships started off with some level of small talk.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well...she could small talk when you're not around, right?

[–]ban1chka6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I used to think that too, but I don't believe it anymore. I'm not sure how you define small talk, but I don't think it's useless at all. When you are just meeting someone, or you only see each other for a little while, you don't have the time or comfort for a full fledged conversation. But it's nice to know how to ask people small things about their life. Shows that you genuinely care.

Deep conversations take time and trust, and trust takes time to develop. You can't always choose between deep conversations and silence, or immediately just go from one to the other. It's nice to have the things in between too.

[–]RPW_throwaway-3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

People can show how much they care by respecting my privacy and not intruding on my personal life.

[–]ban1chka4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

So basically not talking to you at all? Do you also not talk to people unless it's to say something about yourself?

[–]RPW_throwaway1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If they have something important or relevant to say, that's fine. If they want to talk about something that is a mutual interest, that's fine too. Hell, if they want to shoot the shit and just joke around, I'm game.

Getting peppered with questions about my private life and my family's private life do not fall into any of the above categories.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Small talk basically is joking around and talking about random things. It shouldn't be about asking about the private life...unless the people you're small talking with are truly, outrageously bad at small talk ;)

[–]ban1chka1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was talking about things like... If you recently took up a hobby or are passionate about something and told them about it, so they ask you if you're still doing that. If you're okay. Asking if you went on holiday or did something new/fun lately. There are questions out there about you or your family that can be very general and not at all judgemental, but can set the start of a nice conversation. It's all about knowing what is right to say and what is not, which, similar to what OP said, is what makes the difference between someone who is good at small talk and someone who is bad at it. At the end of the day, a conversation takes two people and you always have control over how much you share, regardless of the question that was asked.

Edit to add: In my personal experience, people love talking about themselves, about people they care about, about things that make them happy or that they are passionate about. If you are not like that, there are ways to express that and the other party should generally adapt. But implying small talk has no value at all because there are some questions that you personally don't want to be asked, just... Doesn't make sense.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2023. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter