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Happy I got married at 20 and didn't get peer pressured into hook-up culture

SnooOranges9475
June 15, 2022
203 upvotes
/r/RedPillWomen

Happy I got married at 20 and didn't get peer pressured into hook-up culture

I didn't know what redpill was at 19 when we met in college freshmen year.

Many friends didn't understand why I was getting married so young. But I knew what I wanted and when I met my husband I knew he was the best match and how hard it would be to find another partner I found attractive and intelligent.

I feel like I dodged a major bullet had I let my friends/environment influence me.

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Title Happy I got married at 20 and didn't get peer pressured into hook-up culture
Author SnooOranges9475
Upvotes 203
Comments 36
Date June 15, 2022 10:45 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/happy-i-got-married-at-20-and-didnt-get-peer.1119650
https://theredarchive.com/post/1119650
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/vcrnhy/happy_i_got_married_at_20_and_didnt_get_peer/
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Comments

[–]emmalai852 Stars 52 points53 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

i got married at 20, too. It still shocks people and people make weird comments about stuff, and I just turned 37 yesterday and I'm still married to the same man. lol

[–]sunflowergirls85 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like me exactly! 20 when married and 37 now.

[–]emmalai852 Stars 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We should be friends lol 😆 🙂 🤣 😂

[–]OkraGarden 54 points55 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I got married at 21 and I feel the same way. Now that my husband and I are middle aged we can plainly see what happened to our school friends who chose the trendier, more modern life paths. They are either still single and childless in their mid-40s or they are single mothers to mulitple kids who have different dads. They thought hooking up with strangers and prioritizing career over family was fun and smart at 24 but at 44 it's just sad and lonely.

[–]kryosphere01 31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love this comment. This is the reality of having all the wrong priorities, which include everything but family. My mom who's 43 married at 19 right after finishing college early. I followed in her footsteps and married at 20 right after I found the right guy. Young girls need to realize early on that ignoring an investment into a family comes with its consequences later on, when your friends get on with their families leaving you behind. Especially when those young girls will approach 40s and the ugly reality of everything starts hitting, and you realize your career, money, friends can only give you so much, and there's not much realistically you can do about your biological clocks. Our bodies were designed the way they are for a reason. We can't just create new trends and expect everything else in our lives to go harmoniously.

Thank you for sharing your perspective, sis! ❤

[–]Lightning14 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There’s a middle ground too. I’m 36 now and have peers that I grew up with who found someone in their mid to late 20s that they settled down with. Friends that seem well adjusted in their careers and balancing family time now in their mid 30s as they are having children while being in a solid position financially.

They were able to focus on school (often times professional or grad school) and social groups with shifting towards finding and settling down with a partner by the end of their 20s and having children in their 30s

[–]OkraGarden -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Having children in your 30s is possible but much riskier physically for both the mom and her children. Much higher chance of losing the baby and experiencing health complications. It's far from ideal for a lot of reasons though I'm happy to hear it is working out for your friends. A lot of people who put off childbearing until their 30s find out they waited too long.

[–]LadySandcastle 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you genuinely know what you want from a relationship, what fulfills you and also what are deal-breaker then I believe that is when you are ready.

My husband and I met earlyish twenties, moved in right away and got married about 2 years later in the court house. One of the workers asked how long we'd been together and scrunched up his face when we answered lol. We'd learned from past LTRs that we were a good match though and could work through any issues we had.

If you figure that out even earlier then there's not much reason to wait. Problem is most people lie to themselves about what they want, what they can tolerate etc. Or they change massively in their 20s with college etc. There are also no fixer uppers, you have to accept them as is..

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great for you👍.

I am jealous of you lol.I wished I did same.Now hitting the wall realised what I followed is useless.

[–]m_owom 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same here. I got married at 21 and aside from dodging the hook up culture bullet, I think it made us better partners and better people. Figuring out adulthood together really cemented our relationship and made me feel like we could get through anything. I can also see a huge difference in maturity levels between my husband and other men his age. I think being put in the provider position early and taking on the responsibility of leading his own family made him a more confident and driven man. For me, finding fulfillment in being a wife and a mother and seeing the value I bring to my family, also made me so much more secure, and gave me a sense of direction.

[–]Advanced_Tadpole7046 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got married at 22, he was my first formal boyfriend that i met at 21. Im also glad I married young and did not have to succumb to what media portrays about how life of a single woman should be . I don't feel like a missed out anything.

[–]TodayOk3596 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is encouraging to me as a 19 year old man who is starting to entertain similar thoughts :)

[–]saddensgirl1 Star 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got married at 25, but met my husband at 20. I told him straight away I was only dating with the intention of marriage. Now when I look at the current dating scene I thank God that I don't have to put up with it.

I told my husband that if he died tomorrow, I would just stay single forever because I don't have the emotional capacity or patience to deal with the games of modern dating.

[–]Legitimate_Ocelot718 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same here. I can't imagine trying to start dating for marriage and parenthood in this climate.

[–]golden_eyed_cat 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got married a year ago, at the age of 23, and have been with my husband since I was 19. I don’t have any regrets either!

[–]henrycatalina 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'll give another perspective. My wife of 45 years was the one for me. At 21 we I went exclusive and I married at 23. I don't think I was ever the one as whenever life throws us problems she's quite clearly shown how I ruined her original plan.

Back in the 70s she was clearly on the modern day path when we met. She'd been dating more and trying out different men. This behavior I believe leaves an imprint on some women where they always will doubt their mate selection.

Almost everyone was getting married in their early twenties back in the late 70s. Marrying then because everyone was also was not a good move. Marrying because you found the one has worked out in my observation.

Loosing the attitude that you found the one is a miserable experience for all. Sometimes the "one" causes this thought. When this happens you must work hard to leave the door open to recovery and not dwell on "I could have done better".

[–]blueberrywaffles3 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m younger than most people here and hookup culture is RAMPANT. People who are 18/19 feel the need to lose their virginity as soon as possible. People don’t view it as special anymore. I don’t necessarily believe in waiting until marriage but I do 100% believe in firm commitment before sex.

[–]Sankdamoney 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I envy you. I wanted marriage at your age, but succumbed to the peer pressure and played “cool girl,” hoping various guys would fall in love with me after sex.

[–]FuckOffRedditMods 17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Although I am happy for you, 20 is still a young age. You still do lots of stupid/uninformed things at this age. Marrying is one of the biggest decisions in life. You can live with your partner for years, if not decades and not be married. I also think hook-up culture is garbage, yet marrying after one year seems kinda rushed too. Just my personal insight.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What are other reasons you believe marriage after 1 year seems rushed beside age or immaturity?

[–]lovelixerbb 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not either/or. Can meet your man young and not hook up with other guys.

[–]flsl999 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got married at 22 or 22. Same here girl!

[–]NorCal_Classy_BBC 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excellent posts and comments. Well Done 🙂

[–]PsychologicalAd6389 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

!remindme 5 years

[–]RemindMeBot 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will be messaging you in 5 years on 2027-06-15 22:32:28 UTC to remind you of this link

CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.

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[–]Spare_Noise13911 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

That's a weird thing to be happy about.. who cares?

[–]Legitimate_Ocelot718 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well if you look at what subreddit this is, most women here priotize marrying someone you love early on. So lots of women here care...

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Removed

[–]oliveshoot 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wanted to avoid divorce like the plague, so I was reading relationship books in my teens. I was serious about not wasting my time with men I did not trust to offer a good example to children. I also was vetting men before dating them, and I am not saying that I was perfect in the process, but my higher standard for not wasting time on useless dates seemed to pay off. I wanted to have people’s approval at that age, but I realized that who I got married to was in the top three biggest decisions I would make for my own happiness and that I had agency to impact my future happiness.

[–]titlejunk 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And you are how old now?

[–]warm20 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

nice congratulations

[–]Green__Bananas 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kudos to you. Very smart move, ignore the haters. Hope you and your husband have a great marriage.

[–]Paddington_Fear 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Welp I felt lucky when I got married at 21 too, but then my husband dumped me at 32 🙃

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any reason why?

[–]HefeRefe1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Good for you OP, and to all the ladies that chose this path.

A lot of women in here are going to be salty. I'd even wager that those of you who married at your peak sexual market value and are still married... You don't hang out with any single women or have them as friends.

Single women try to keep other women single.

Sadly this is the minority, getting married at your peak sexual market value vs chasing a career/bag first.

Good on you OP. 👏👏👰

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Huh...I don't see ladies here being salty

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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