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Hormonal birth control

November 27, 2018

Hormonal birth control almost ruined my marriage. My husband and I have been together almost three years, married for two. After our daughter was born I went on “the pill.” It was a gradual change but we began fighting. A lot. I was mad and sad and depressed all of the time. No motivation to do anything. I began to pick apart every little thing my husband did. He finally demanded I seek help & I was diagnosed with depression & PMDD. My doctor suggested I go off of my birth control for a little while as the synthetic hormones in the pill adversely effect over 50% of women on it. My husband agreed. I’ve been off of hormonal birth control for two months now. I haven’t felt this happy in ages. It’s like a fog has cleared in my brain. My sex drive is back, I’m motivated, I don’t pick fights anymore. I can see how I was spiraling, when I couldn’t see it before. TL;DR Never going back to hormonal birth control.

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Post Information
Title Hormonal birth control
Author kwarner93
Upvotes 102
Comments 47
Date November 27, 2018 3:20 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
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[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Life is so much better without hormonal birth control. And my sex drive is off the charts.

[–]kwarner93[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed! Sex was a chore when I was on it. But now our sex life is great, like we are in the honey moon phase all over again

[–]likeaprometheancurse29 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm so glad this has helped you! I hear about so many people having this reaction to birth control pills. The percentage of women who experience adverse affects from hormonal birth control is astronomical. I can hardly believe it when I hear it from so many people honestly!

I'm the exact opposite - it makes my cycle bearable. Without it I have debilitating cramps, long 6-10 day periods, often two periods per month, horrible mood swings and food cravings while on my period, and I ALSO have uncomfortable PMS and ovulation days as well. My ovaries literally ache while I'm ovulating (off of bc obviously). My acne went away too. If I had negative side effects, I would just say screw it so I'm really happy to be the seemingly only person with a good experience! lol. This sounds awful.

[–]kwarner93[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m glad you at least have a positive experience with it!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have the same experience, when i wasnt on pills i was way more depress, my emotion was uncontrollable and my life was basically full of anxiety and panic attacks.

I started taking pills bc i have "imabalance hormones" i was 18 at that time and rn im 20. The first 2 months was horrible for sure but after that it was way better. The pms, hormonal acne, back pain and basically everything that makes my life harder just went away.

[–]snackysnackeeesnacki23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I had the same experience with BC. Never again. I didn’t even recognize myself. I used a cervical cap before we started trying to conceive (not the greatest effectiveness but we were ok with risking it at the time).

[–]kwarner93[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn’t even realize what I had turned into until I stopped!

[–]NationalMouse41 points42 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I cannot tell you much I HATE hormonal birth control and I don’t understand the women who swear by it. I guess we are just built differently from them.

[–]shenanigans3812 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean you might be correct, literally. As in some people just have drugs and hormones affect them differently than others.

[–]Mewster18181 Star1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't particularly like sone of the side effects of HBC, however it's such a vast improvement from before that I recommend asking your doctor about it for women with similar issues.

That said, the average woman isn't literally passing out from pain every month. I had been rushed to hospital several times before starting HBC, and I have been relatively pain free since.

[–]Theendisnearornot10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I can’t handle hormonal birth control. We used the Fertility Awareness Method for BC before I got my tubes tied (we have 4 kids we are done!).
The book Take Charge of Your Fertility is so good and I recommend it to everyone. It’s so important to learn about your hormones and why and when certain things happen.

[–]fourfivesix3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great recommendation! FAM works so well for us.

[–]kwarner93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks! I’ll check it out

[–]raeonmon 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

This was why I never went on the pill. Condoms work just fine, and timing unprotected sex with my cycle (do at your own risk) works for my husband and I. We've been doing this for four years and haven't had one pregnancy scare.

[–]kwarner93[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

We use an app to track my cycle and it’s worked so far!

[–]widdley7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I had the same problem. I had a mirena for 5 years and it was fine, got a new one in and WOAH. Depression, anxiety, constantly tired and upset. I switched to the copper (nonhormonal) iud and the difference was night and day. I don't turn into a psycho before my period anymore, and I am actually happy.

[–]Zeldafan10232 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't want to put anything in your head, but if you start having any issues on the copper IUD, it could be that the copper is throwing your body's natural metals off balance. I was starting to get weird on it until I started taking zinc.

[–]catipillar7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got off birth control at 17 and never looked back. Weight gain, incessant rage, inconsolable deapair...i honestly don't know why it did this to me. Some people suggested that I'd tried the "wrong one." I'm not going to go testing my body and throwing experimental hormones into my system before I find the "right" one. I've always been much happier without it, simply just practicing cognizance seems better and has been more effective.

[–]ZegiknieEndorsed Contributor6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mine cleared up my skin, and killed my sexdrive. And made me fat.

We just use condoms when it comes to piv sex, it's the least painful method for us.

[–]le_petit_champ6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It was exactly like that with me as well! It’s so difficult to notice and blame it on the pill because the changes are slow and gradual. But coming off made a drastic difference. Just like you described it - felt like a fog was lifted.

[–]kwarner93[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most definitely

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My encounters with hormonal birth control were brief. I tried a few different kinds of pills and the mirena. Artificial hormones like that make me insane...just so emotionally unstable and easily enraged on top of doing weird things to my cycle. It never affected my sex drive or caused weight gain, just made me unbearable to deal with. We used the fertility awareness method for a while but my fiance opted to get a vasectomy so we don't have to worry about it anymore. I think the negative side effects of HBC are not discussed enough and it is likely ruining a lot of marriages because of the emotional instability and decreased libido it causes for so many women...but it is empowering, right? 🙄

[–]kwarner93[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was amazed at the statistics that is effects half of women who take it. And you don’t even realize it because the change is a slow one! It only took one month off for me to realize how bad I had gotten and how horrible I had been treating my husband and two months for me to feel like my old self again.

[–]sweetiekrissie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had the same with the pill and the arm implant. Now almost 6 years (second one) on the spiral thingie (honestly dont know what the english word is im sorry) and feel normal and not sick and tired anymore. Mine has hormones but it stayes in place and doesnt travel around my whole body.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nice. If you’re cycles aren’t regular yet from you being off the BC try vitex or maca. They can also help with PMS symptoms.

[–]kwarner93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the advice

[–]teaandtalk5 Stars6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had a Mirena IUD for five years, it was great! A much lower dose of hormones than the pill. The pill made me a bit crazy.

[–]stripethrowaway 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

So sorry to hear about your experience with hormonal BC. Have you tried going back to your doctor to see if a different combination of hormones will work for you? Maybe even a hormones specialist who can recommend something that won't throw your natural balance off! I remember it took me several months to find one that worked for me.... Orthotricyclin made me batshit like you described and the nuva ring made me have several months long periods..... I gained 20 lbs on the patch, I went to an estrogen only pill and got NASTY migraines and acne...... Finally I found Lutera which made me spot but compared to the others was bearable.

I was on the pill on and off for several years with my ex, sex drive tanked. I was blue pill back then and there was a lot of other issues too. We once went 6 months and I was drier than the Sahara desert. I knew quite a few other women with the same issue- got on the pill, sex drive went down. So I blamed it on the pill. I got off birth control and my sex drive never came back. Long story short, we got a divorce.

Got a new man, discovered TRP, got back on the pill. I'm on a standard combo pill (was scared it would cycle dosage like orthotricyclin did but the Dr said they should have started me on this one in the first place and she was confused why they gave me Ortho as my first pill) that's really popular in the states and besides an uptick in acne which might be due to sleeping in makeup I've had no issues. It's been three months and my sex drive seems the same. So the jury's out on this one. I really really hope it was the other problems with my ex and not the pill.

That being said, have you looked into those ovulation tracking apps? There's a ton and I heard if you buy a basal thermometer and the ovulation strips for the first couple of months, it's pretty reliable.

Good luck with everything!!!!

[–]kwarner93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for your reply! I’m glad you found something that works for you.

I use a cycle tracking app and it’s seemed to work for me, hopefully it continues to work!

[–]missguidedme2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I went off hormonal birth control too and am getting copper IUD instead. Really excited!

[–]zionbeers2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I realized hormonal bc wasn’t my jam when I went for a month without wanting sex and started sobbing in public lol.

[–]AnarchoNAP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The only positive thing about the pill for me was almost no cramps. The only way I can describe it was that it medicated me into being a man. I was numb to all “feminine emotions.” Then low sex drive, feeling disconnected, less compassionate- it’s the perfect medication for a single woman.

I am also admittedly bitter about the whole thing, because I feel like it allows men to pick and choose what parts of having a woman they want. I can do either gender and imo I can do it well, but this whole piecemeal “I want you to be 75% woman and 25% man, oh next week so 50%...” is unreasonable.

[–]RainySeasonInPH2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Non-hormonal IUD's are basically totally ignored in America, and yet are insanely fantastic. When I first moved to SEA, I was shocked to discover that this is something that exists, that hundreds of millions of women use it, and that I had never heard of it.

Seriously check it out.

[–]kwarner93[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the advice! Will do

[–]Foxrhapsody2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

While hormonal birth control didn’t affect my mood, I did need to stop taking it due to hypertension. Now we only use condoms and I feel as if our sex life has gotten worse because my SO hates wearing a condom and would rather not have sex at all (lol).

Which cycle tracking app do you use and how long have you used it? I may need to look into something like that.

[–]artsyluna2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I started the pill shortly before my first relationship ended, and I partially blame it for keeping me in an intense depression for much longer than it should been. I was only on it for a few months, but even that was enough to wreak havoc on my mental and emotional health. Will probably never try it again.

[–]Kara__El 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nuvaring and the pill caused horrible bladder problems for me. Mirena has been great, with local hormones only affecting the uterus, itself. I'm getting it out in a couple of weeks and I don't think I'll even try the pill again.

[–]Zeldafan10234 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Doctors always claim the hormones are "localized" with IUDs and thus won't cause you the same kinds of problems as the other forms, but I can tell you from personal experience and reading loads of other testimonies from the r/birthcontrol sub, that's a load of BS.

[–]Jesus-slaves1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Duuuuuuude.. I tried a variety of low dose combo pills and the ring. It all made me a psycho. The mini-pill (progesterone only) made me feel like a million bucks mood-wise but I bled for 3 months straight. I gave up on it.

[–]sabrinaaa7201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I went on the pill to fix cramps (and hopefully acne) but after a month I stopped because I had upcoming exams and the hormones made me just about constantly nauseous. The last thing I wanted was to be feeling too shit to revise or even do the exams. I wasn’t on the pill for long enough to notice any other symptoms but it didn’t help with my cramps either. It’s definitely something worth trying if it could help but it won’t fix everything and causes its own problems.

[–]misiepatysie3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry to hear you had bad experiences with the pill. I hear so often form fellow woman how bad they react. Has your gyn run all the necessary tests on you beore decindinh which one to give you?

Since I am on the pill I have almost no menstrual cramps, my skin is nicer, and my sex drive is not affected, I think it even incresed as I am no longer stressed over unwanted pregnancy.

[–]kwarner93[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m going to talk to my doctor about different methods but right now we are just doing cycle tracking. I’m happy it doesn’t seem to effect you though!

[–]misiepatysie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You shoyuld definitely talk to him. There are many kinds of pills, but there also other means of contraception that could work better for you. I think the best thing to do is to find a good, reliable doctor, sadly it is also the hardest.

[–]WhistlingDead0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same, I'm on the patch and I've only had good side effects. It's so nice knowing when my period will come and that it'll be light !

[–]kwarner93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s called Flo. I’ve used it for almost a year, even when I was on BC because I like seeing all the data. Give it a shot!

[–]bookloverphile 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can he still cum in you though?

[–]kwarner93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


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