Hello!

My SO and I have been living together for a few months now. Things are quite good.

I cook delicious, filling meals everyday. (Waking up when he does to make him breakfast, making dinner when he comes home from work, and a snack in the afternoon, if he comes home early)

I do the cleaning and the laundry. I am a stay-at-home fiance.

Anyway, recently my SO has been under a lot of stress. With work being crazy and him being stressed about a big move we're making in Jan, and his last MSc semester going on simultaneously, I know he's very, very tired at the end of the day.

The thing though is, I am too. I too am stressed about my future, my family and our life together. I am also worried about my education and my work. I know it is not the same as he is doing while I am simply planning but still I do not exactly live a stress-free life, especially as I am currently 10K away from my home.

BUT the difference is I still want to have sex every time I see my SO. When he's getting out of bed I want some, and when he walks through the door I want some and right before bed I want some.

But in the last two months he's been turning me down a lot. Saying he's too tired etc. I just don't understand. He doesn't mind staying up till like 1AM watching cartoons with me but he can't get on top of me (or let me get on top) for seven minutes?! Its so frustrating.

I have no human interactions all day. He's my only physical contact most of the time (except weekly meet-ups with my work group) and I love him so much, i find him so attractive but this is giving me so much anxiety about our future.

He's wonderful in every way and I can't imagine leaving him so that's not the issue. I just want to know if I should prepare myself for a /r/deadbedroom situation or what. We used to **** like two-to-three times a day, and I didn't expect that to last forever but now I do 80% of the initiating.

Possibly relevant facts - we're both in our twenties (he's 5 years older)

  • he quit smoking cigarettes last month (I quit last week)

  • he stopped going to the gym two months ago (no time)

  • I've put on a bit of weight due to lack of exercise and introduction of new things into my diet (there's a lot of dairy in this country)

  • I've been coming in and out of a depression for a few months

  • I've talked to him about our sex-life but I've noticed every time I do he initiates even less and I end up more annoyed - last week he even said "im tired of talking about sex, can i get a break please?" so I didn't bring it up again

  • But he's improved a bit this week. I encouraged him to not worry about my mood whenever he wants to grope me etc

  • But I wonder if its because it was a longer weekend this week

TL;DR: How can sex be stressful for him when its a stress-releaser for me? How can I help him relieve his stress if he won't let me ++ him? Should I just shut up and suck it up? I don't want a Low Libido husband, I just won't manage. How can I tell him I need his priority to be daily sex?