Backstory, I agreed to marry a guy a few years ago, but we held off the wedding because we've been long distance for a while and I wasn't sure about marrying him.

I said yes way too soon.

How can I very carefully tell him that his weight isn't okay? It's a sensitive topic to him for a few reasons.

He knows he needs to lose it but says things like "I play sports several times a week, the gym is boring, I'm controlling my portions, it's hard to make time to eat well".

I try to lead by example

I go to the gym daily and said id go twice if he comes with me (we went once but he still isn't a member).

I make healthy dinners and sometimes give him lunch as well.

Avoid us eating before bed.

...I don't know how else to encourage him to drop the weight without being in his face about it, which is a strategy that wouldn't work with him.

I don't want to nag, nor do I want to be condescending (conscious effort). We've had the health conversation several times - a few weeks ago it was the idea that smoke actively destroys your health, and he admitted that his weight does the same. I've done the 'work on it together' encouragement - the problem is that he somehow sees what he's doing (sports, etc) to be enough when it's evidently not. He even sees that certain elements of physical affection are affected because of it but rather than change strategy he'll complain about the physical affection issue (another sensitive topic).

Its come to the point where there's always a verbal response on his part but no active response. And I want to respect him enough to not tell him that his weight is a non-negotiable for me and that instead of making excuses he needs to make a lifestyle change

How do I avoid being a nagging woman?


TL;DR - Fiance is fat, i'm losing attraction, need advice on how to approach it without nagging forever