I unconsiously try and put on a very logic, non emotion ridden demeanor on. This isnt because I'm emotionally mature. It's because I'm very emotionally immature and I try and suppress my emotions and display of emotion. I'm very uncomfortable with anyone's emotions and I have no idea how to act when confronted by the emotions of others. I feel deeply ashamed when I express soft emotions. I struggle with irritability. I feel as though it's a sin to complain or express frustration, I'm trying to find a balance.

I have no sex drive. I'm a female. I feel like pleasure is gross.

I am overly concerned with men's approval but not in a sexual way. In an "I need to please my father" type way. I've been aware of this since 4th grade. This gets in the way of academic relationships with older men. I dont feel this pressure with females. I usually am drawn to older men, in an "I want to be you" way. I've helped a couple professors in the lab with their research and another with his lab class. I'm not doing this because I have a crush on them it's because i want to be like them.

I am a passive know it all. I feel very deeply inferior to others. I also feel like I know better than anyone else and dont take correction well. I have to watch myself because I tend to give unsolicited advice.

I feel in my marriage and life I'm abandoning my femininity because I feel as though it makes me irrational and weak. My husband is the bread winner and I feel deeply inferior because he makes money and I'm home raising the child. We BOTH want me home with our child and next child for the first few years of their lives but I feel ashamed to be a home maker. I feel like a mooch. Even though my family and raising children is something I take much pleasure in and love.

I'm very disagreeable and ruthless with people who remind me of my shadow.

I feel like I'm flawed because I'm female. I am very judgemental on myself and others, but on myself it can be hell. I am very plain and have no sense of style.

My Male archytype is someone who is disagreeable for the sake of disagreeing, cuts people off in traffic because I want to make others mad, who suppresses emotions and gets annoyed with others who Express theirs, doesn't desire sex or pleasure, music ect. Overly concerned with discipline, stoicism, not showing weakness, not expressing myself, sucking everything up, very self critical for everything, overly ambitious with school and my career when I just want a balanced happy home life first and foremost. Doesn't Express any of my interests to anyone for fear they think it's too spiritual/wishy washy and not concrete or logical. Basically a drill Sargent who tells myself I'm a wimp and weak and emotional.

I'm in therapy but bringing my emotions to the table and being vulnerable is thwarting progress.