My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. We’ve been through some rough patches, like any marriage, but we’ve always come out stronger together. A few years ago, my husband started wearing thongs. I expressed that I didn’t like it and did not find it attractive. He got upset with me and wanted to know why I cared what he wore under his clothes. I’m pretty non-confrontational, so I just kept my opinion to myself afterwards. He started to gain a little weight, then stopped wearing them. I thought that was the end of it.

The past couple of years have been stressful and hard on our family. My husband wanted to sell our house and build a house on his parent’s land. I was open to this and we went through the difficult process of home selling. We didn’t have the money to immediately start building, so we moved into my Dad’s house for about 6 months. When it was looking like it was going to be longer than we expected, we decided to get an apartment while we saved money to build.

Then the pandemic hit and threw a wrench in our plans. We ended up deciding to just pull the trigger and move in with his parents to start the building process. It was a long and stressful couple of years. We finally got our dream home built and I thought everything would calm down.

Since we have moved into our new home I noticed my husband wearing thongs again. They are getting more and more racy, but I still haven’t said anything because of how he acted last time.

Recently, in a drunken hook up, he admitted to me that he had been trying to get a prostate orgasm, and has been sticking things up there. I was completely shocked. Then I found a basket with lube, dildos, and other paraphernalia. I haven’t confronted him about it, because I’m worried about his answers.

He used to be so masculine when we were younger, but has become more dependent on my validation of him. I feel myself wearing the pants in our relationship more and more. Making more decisions, even though I have expressed to him that I just want him to make a decision once in a while because I’m so exhausted always being the one that does it. He gets mad saying I never agree with his decisions. I know I have some blame here, but after so many years of carrying the bulk of our relationship, I’m exhausted.

He has so also started shaving, everywhere. I once made a comment that I like when he is hairier, but he complained that it bothers him.

I just do not understand. Maybe he is bisexual and hiding it. I’m not worried about him being gay, because we still have very enthusiastic sex. He still gives oral and loves it and wants to have sex with me all the time.

I just want him to be more masculine, but I don’t want to immaculate him by telling him that. I just don’t know what to do.

I’m sure I’m leaving things out, so just ask if you have questions.