How do I get over envy that is ruining my life?

TheFigTr33 · 2021-11-07T22:30:51+00:00

She sounds like a master manipulator - your social group, most likely him… make sure you don’t fall into the trap too… don’t spend another second comparing yourself to her - unless it’s for good reasons (i.e. that you could never stoop to her level) - your life is worth so much more than that. it’s actually easier than we think to stop thoughts in their track / turn negatives into positives. whenever the trauma pops into your mind, try and get into the habit of replacing the thought somehow. practising self-love is what you need most right now - you can find some really good guided meditations on youtube as a start.
to sum it up, switch your focus. do everything that makes you feel beautiful inside and out, you’ll start to forget her face soon enough.

take good care x

Due_Ad_3055 · 2021-11-08T09:41:40+00:00

This is going to be super long I apologize in advance. Also not a native English speaker but I'll try my best to get the point across :)

I've read sooo many books about religions, spirituality and life philosophies, and if there's one lesson all of them have in common is that the truth always prevails, and that a person's intention always comes to the surface, and in my culture their intentions is what even shapes their features as they get older. Have trust that the truth of what happened to you and her "real self" will show at the end. The higher powers are just and fair.

However, you deserve to move on, you deserve to think of yourself as high value, you deserve to feel and look and know you're beautiful, you deserve to enjoy your life and your career, you deserve all of it. One thing I read in a psychology book long time ago is finding a new value of yourself in new environment can have huge impact and it is a huge coping mechanism. Maybe try and find a small crowd of people that aren't similar to her circle or to her boyfriend circle -which i'm not sure if you had feelings for-, you can start a new hobby that allows you to meet new people while you enjoy it and in a sense succeed in it as well or shift the focus on your career.

There comes a time where you simply make the choice to let go, lets try and look at it and move in a new approach, lets stop yearning, give yourself what you believe you deserve and her evil actions took away from you.

It is now about you, your capacity to be open, available and accessible on loving yourself.

You dont need someone to make you feel special, or to make you feel good about yourself or "whole" or support you. You are complete and whole within yourself. Once you practice and experience love from inside out, you'll be able to let go, and love in many shapes will find you.

Train your mind to focus on you rather on her. Accept and move on "it is what is and now its time to love me". Small thoughts and practices, take a breath everytime sad feelings come at you and change your thoughts, say "NO, STOP I AM LOVING ME NOW" out loud, or even "I AM OKAY I CAN DO THIS I CHOSE TO LET GO". Do not entertain any toxic thoughts, refuse to allow your mind to entertain any thoughts that will lead you down the path of suffering.

Chose to let go, choosing is your power.

All this "I'll never be as beautiful, I'll never find a guy" DISPOSE IMMEDIATLY. You simply will. But the key is for you to be open to that. you'll be able to have clarity to recognize it when it comes to you. Remember her "perfect happy" might not be the same shape as yours and that doesnt make yours any less.

There are many blogs and youtubers that talk about how to elevate your look, so never worry about it and be open to learn. Tips such as colorful fitted flattering clothes, good food, even just a shower routine that makes you smell good goes a long way. Enjoy your beauty journey and tailor it to you.

When it comes to dating, a sister advice would be to focus on yourself now and good things will find their way to you.

If you read all of that, Im sorry again for it being long, i've lit a candle for you hoping that blessings and healing will come to you.

Hope it all goes well with your therapist. Much love to you sister.

red_Mercedez · 2021-11-08T15:02:43+00:00

Delete her, him, them, everyone from your life who did you wrong!
Focus on yourself and yourself ONLY 💜
Develop your mental strength, when no one has the power to control your moods. The more you think and sulk about them, the more harm you are doing to yourself and your development as a woman.
If she tried to ruin your reputation, she was threatened by you! Why would she care to sabotage you if you were already below her in any department (looks, intelligence, etc) Maybe you are 10X prettier than her, but you fail to see your beauty. You are only blocking yourself!
The more you wish her harm, the more you wish harm upon yourself! What we give out, we get back. So, just focus on yourself and your own happiness.

ShannonE3 · 2021-11-08T11:50:32+00:00

I had a very similar situation! I had a not great relationship with my college roommate, and I was in my university’s “honors college” which meant half of my classes were with the same 40 people. So naturally they became most of my friend group. This roommate was beautiful, loved to party, but unfortunately caused a lot of trouble (smoking in our room, throwing up, bringing hook ups back, etc.)

I left for a semester in my sophomore year to study abroad, and when I came back literally none of my old friends would talk to me anymore. She’d basically turned them all against me while I was gone.

It was really hurtful, and I was in a very negative spiral for a while there! But at the end of the day, you just have to pick yourself up and move on :) I got involved in my campus’s Christian group, so if you’re religious, I would considering there! I’ve made some lifelong friends there.

I also worked hard on improving myself and my temperament. The idea of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything” resonated with me, because while I don’t think I was in the wrong with how I handled my relationship with my roommate, I could have also handled it much more graciously.

But I wouldn’t focus on her being prettier than you or the friends you’ve lost. Try to improve what you can in yourself, and find new friends! I’m 5 years out from all of this now, married, and with a 6 month old so the right man is out there for you! Try to get yourself back into a good head space, and then you’ll find him ☺️

MuslimNextDoor · 2021-11-08T01:37:45+00:00

I’m not that beautiful and my husband is more good-looking than me! I sometimes doubt myself but at the end, a person will stay with for your personality and who you are :)

Looks do matter in the beginning but what stays is the personality!

So my advice is to work on what you can change in terms of looks.. and definitely seek a therapist this will help you be more positive, cheerful and inviting person!

I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you.. I like to remind myself that everything happens for a reason and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger 🙂

Praexology · 2021-11-08T17:09:38+00:00

She is extremely physically beautiful and has been in a relationship with the most successful, valuable and amazing guy that I know for years and they will most likely get married.

I had an extremely traumatic period in college where my former roommate pretty much ruined my life by destroying my reputation,

How did she manage this? One of the most persistent problems people face during massive reputation attack is the inability to manage the negative emotion that come with ego attacks.

leftajar · 2021-11-08T18:33:27+00:00

The solution to most negative feelings is to cultivate gratitude.

There must be something in your life that is going well -- a good friend or two, caring family members, fun hobbies. Heck, even your life itself on this planet, and your physical health are things you can be grateful for.

Gratitude will wipe away resentment almost instantly.

somewhereinptown · 2021-11-07T23:03:16+00:00

I’m so sorry this has happened. Yes get therapy (you will prevail) and in the meantime take solace in the fact that she is f*cking miserable. Might not look like it, but she is.

rammerplex · 2021-11-08T06:00:30+00:00

Why is some girl important in your dating experience. This is not a competition. Ignore her and find the men you love.

Best wishes.

Scoobyginger25 · 2021-11-10T16:15:41+00:00

She sounds sociopathic or narcissistic and those people are usually great at being charming when they want to be. Karma will catch up to her and it’s only a matter of time.

Full-you123 · 2021-11-20T05:04:14+00:00

So she’s beautiful but her soul is rotten hm.

Praexology · 2021-11-08T11:38:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How do I get over envy that is ruining my life?
Author	Wild-Complex-5980
Upvotes	46
Comments	18
Date	November 7, 2021 10:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qoz5a9/how_do_i_get_over_envy_that_is_ruining_my_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-get-over-envy-that-is-ruining-my-life.1085359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085359