I'm 30 years old, 5'8", 10lbs overweight, black, and single. Because I spent most of my life working and taking care of a codependent mother, I've pretty much never dated, never slept around, never done anything like that. But now I'm 30. And I know that I need to lose weight and get my body in shape if I ever want to get married. I also know that by the time I'm ready to enter the dating world, I'll be 31, past the wall, and invisible to men -- the apartment, the career, and the salary I've worked so hard for will mean nothing to them.
I know that there won't be a perfect 6-foot CEO waiting for me at the end of my self-improvement journey, so I'm trying to keep my "list" very short and my standards very low. But how do I stay motivated when I know what my realistic prospects are going to be?
Even if I lose weight, get braces, get therapy, and perfect my cooking, marriage isn't a guarantee. And even if, after all that work on myself, I'm lucky enough to get married, statistically speaking, it will probably be to a man who is shorter, older, and making less money than me. I know that those are the facts and I have to start getting used to them. But how?
Edit: Thank you so much for all of the advice! Judging from the comments, my negativity and lack of confidence on the inside is just as important as my weight and attractiveness on the outside, so moving forward, I'll be working on that as well.
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