Hi, so wonderful to come across this sub! I recently read "the surrendered wife" and have been trying it with my SO but something is not working.

For example, I started by letting him decide what I should eat at a restaurant, and ask him for advice about things just to show that I respect his opinion and I need him (or am I doing it wrong?) When I asked him what item i should order at the restaurant, he got super annoyed and said "Why are you asking me? You're the one eating, you pick whatever you want." It made me feel really stupid.

Another example, yesterday I tried to connect my laptop to his printer but it wouldn't work. I asked if he could help me, he said "have you searched on the internet?" I said "no i haven't, but it's your printer, maybe you already know how this works." He said "All I'm going to do is to search on the internet, if I can do it, so can you." Again, I got shot down. Sure, of course I can do it. I lived perfectly fine before I met him. I didn't die, I didn't starve to death. I ended up figuring out the printer issue by the way. He knew I was pissed, so he tried to make it up to me later on by cuddling and telling me he loves me, etc.

We've been dating for 8 months, we moved in together at 6 months. I took on most of the housework including cooking, cleaning. And we have sex every day. Yes, every day.

I think he would be a PERFECT leader, but it makes me very confused when I tried to make him feel needed/wanted and he doesn't get it. He thinks i'm incompetent which is not true at all. I'm the most independent woman he's ever seen (he said that when we first started dating.)

Am I doing it wrong? How do I approach him sometimes I need him, and i just want to feel cared/loved. Yesterday when he didn't help me with the printer issue, I thought to myself, "then why do i need to feed you? You can feed yourself too." It's horrible, so I didn't say it out loud, but I imagine I'd eventually become resentful if he puts in bare minimum effort in our relationship.

Please save us!