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How I Got My Man to Commit to an LTR

September 30, 2020

Note: I’m no expert and still have a long way to go. I’m not trying to teach women how to get an engagement or a proposal and wouldn’t feel qualified to do so. For all the women who struggled to get past the talking stage like I did, hopefully this field report on achieving the first level of commitment gives some insight!

In my adult life, I never had trouble attracting men. Keeping them, on the other hand, was definitely an issue. I was never a part of the hook-up/casual sex scene, but even guys who were looking for relationships ultimately decided that I just wasn’t it. If the only common denominator in all these failed relationships was myself, it had to be something about my behavior that turned them off. After a year of reading RPW as a joke while simultaneously getting ghosted by the guys I was talking to, I figured why not just try these silly tactics? It’s not like I’d have worse luck than I already did.

First, I threw away the notion that men want the pedestalized ice princess, the Regina George of whatever room or party you’re in. Sure, she’s a smokeshow and the envy of many women, but that doesn’t automatically make her the ideal mate for men. Instead, I made myself more open, warm, and approachable, sometimes even approaching cute guys myself and finding ways to casually initiate. What I found was that most men are very receptive to this kind of warmth and it helped me understand a bit more about how men worked. As my warmth increased, I noticed that the caliber of men who were interested in me improved as well.

When I met my current LTR and eventually started dating him thanks to what I learned from RPW, things were going good but I still didn’t have the level of commitment I wanted. Instead of retreating and playing hard to get, or feeling entitled that I deserve x amount of commitment just because we’ve been on y amount of dates, I tried to figure out ways to show what feminine values I could bring to the table. I embraced how to STFU and learned to treat him with respect. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and didn’t hide my tender underbelly that I so angrily protected in previous relationships. I could see him developing stronger feelings for me, so I did one final thing that truly sealed the deal.

I planned a picnic for us. It sounds simplistic and even juvenile to think that this is what got him to commit, but I could tell that after this picnic, he fell in love. I told him that I wanted to thank him for all the times he picked me up and treated me on dates, helped me with difficult errands and homework, and just because I enjoyed spending time with him. Perhaps this was an unusual gesture for people our age (I was 20 then, he was 21), because he was quite shocked that I proposed this. Still, he was happy to lead and told me he would surprise me with a good place to have the picnic at. Once the plans were set, I went in on the prepwork.

I kept track of all the foods he mentioned he liked, and asked my parents and friends what was the best thing I ever cooked for them. I took a risk and tried to make something he told me he craved but I had never made before, and also made sure that the three other things I cooked were as perfect as I could manage. It probably took 2 days of planning and prepping, which seems excessive, but I truly wanted to show him how thankful I was to have him in my life.

We arrived at the location he took us to and it was beautiful and serene. As I took out all of the food I prepared, I could see how surprised he was at the amount of effort I put in. The dish I took a risk on was a flop and we both couldn’t finish it lol. Everything else, he loved and he told me how impressed he was at my cooking skills. Even if it wasn’t perfect, I could see him beaming at how this picnic made him feel. I think with all the effort and consideration I put in, I signaled to him how much I cared for and respected him, and it made him feel the same for me. Though he treated me well before, I could tell he saw me in a completely different light. He had many other women trying to get at him (I only found out about this much later lol) and had his own issues with commitment in the past, but by doing this picnic, I had somehow set myself apart from his exes and the ladies in his DMs.

It’s been smooth sailing ever since and we’ve only fallen deeper in love and become even more committed to each other. I hope this post doesn’t come off as boastful - I’m not saying that I have incredible beauty or mystique and that’s how I bagged my man. In fact, I probably pale in physical comparison to the literal models my LTR dated in the past. It’s the RPW strategies and toolbag that helped me land him, and I wanted to share my own experience to all the skeptics out there, from a former skeptic myself! It really does work :)

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Post Information
Title How I Got My Man to Commit to an LTR
Author yungsweetro
Upvotes 116
Comments 13
Date September 30, 2020 9:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]isidorakimou20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My tender under-belly has always been very very shy and I have always been very protective of it, no touching of it of any sorts. No more though. It's going to become ROCK hard soon hopefully. 😂

[–]yungsweetro2 Stars[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😂😂😂 much easier to expose your underbelly when you have emrata’s six pack LOL

[–]CorneliusHardcastle45 points46 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

From a guy - good advice. Being vulnerable just melts a guys heart more effectively than anything, and so many women are so hellbent on not being vulnerable and being hard and defensive.

I've been with my wife for 11 years, and I can say the first 8 were pretty up and down and IMO it really was because of previous bad experiences causing her to keep a guard up. Every time I'd feel myself falling deeper something would happen where she'd put up all her walls and act like she's an independent strong woman and doesn't need me, clearly to protect herself, but it would just throw me off completely and we'd need to start again. And again, and again. Many guys would have given up a thousand times over tbh. It took a special blend of determination and anxiety and a learned endurance for misery on my part.

At some point something clicked where she genuinely started trusting me and visually relaxed and became vulnerable, I mean letting it be overtly known she'd be devastated if I left for example, a softer, warmer, more delicate and precious person, one I felt compelled to protect and care for. When I felt she was trusting me fully I felt a tremendous responsibility to not break her trust and to just be fully committed.

Earlier she was really shooting herself in the foot, and I'd say many many many women are doing this frequently all over the world. No doubt due to some psycho betraying their trust at some point earlier, but you kind of have to be vulnerable and let yourself do that "trust fall" again and hope for the best or it will never transition to that deeper seriously committed stage.

[–]yungsweetro2 Stars[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for sharing! It must have felt great when your wife finally began to trust you wholeheartedly. Though I don’t blame women who are extra-cautious because they’ve been burned in the past, cautiousness can definitely be overdone and cause a whole set of different problems.

It’s smart to vet but once he’s proven he’s trustworthy, opening up and being vulnerable can do wonders in advancing a relationship. My SO has mentioned that he treats me so gently and kindly because he just wants to protect me and take good care of me. If I hadn’t let myself be so vulnerable to him in the first place, he probably would not get those protector instincts.

[–]Kind_Entertainment_62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love this! Your wife reminds me a bit of myself and it just reminds me I need to make more of an effort to let my walls down with my partner.

[–]GutSenpai7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I enjoyed reading this field report, not seeing anyone atm but looking forward to finding a woman like this in the future, even if it takes work.

[–]yungsweetro2 Stars[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Glad you liked it. Good luck!

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]yungsweetro2 Stars[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This sounds so sweet (and is definitely making me crave some pesto pasta lol)! Sounds like a blissful afternoon to me! Your SO is lucky to have someone who’s still considerate 4.5 years in :)

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]yungsweetro2 Stars[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the suggestion! However, I’m 22 now so I’ve had my fair share of time spent developing myself AND vetting my SO since I decided to re-strategize. The reason why I framed it as a surprise was because it actually was to me haha. I literally was in the talking stage with soooo many guys (I’m talkin’ 25+), and most of them were very eager to get to know me and hit on me, but not eager at all to make a lasting relationship. As for the few (probably 2 or 3 out of that 25+) that wanted a relationship, I felt very minimal attraction to them and couldn’t see myself wanting to put in as much effort as I did for my current SO.

Even though we’re young, I definitely don’t see my current SO as a boy - he has a fantastic job, a good education, and most importantly, has proven himself fiscally, professionally, and personally responsible during the extent of our relationship. I’ve seen how he acts at the steering wheel of the ship and I feel comfortable trusting in him. He’s the manliest man I know :)

As to your point about developing myself further, I was in a soft nun-mode as I decided to recalibrate my dating strategy. While I met more guys when I re-strategized, I didn’t continue forward with any of them until I met my SO because I felt like he was such a keeper. I continued to work on my physical and mental health, change my mindset from one of negativity and bitterness to one of optimism, and improve my femininity. I also finished my education and have career goals of my own. IMO, I think it would have been a waste of my best years to sit at home and wait until I was a fully seasoned perfect woman to actually date, but I agree that it’s unwise to fully depend on my partner if we’re not engaged or married. I can lean on him a lot for emotional support (and vice versa) and he takes care of us if we vacation together or when we go out on dates, but I’m not dependent on him for much else.

Hope that sheds a bit more light on where I’m coming from :)

[–]farachun0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I want to do this, too! My problem is I really want to cook for my partner but he doesn't let me do it whenever I come over to his place. He always cooks for us. The reason why is because he doesn't trust that I won't be a trouble in the kitchen. He keeps his kitchen clean and organized and I know I can do that whenever I’m cooking on my own but he can't trust me that I will do it. So whenever I come over, he always does the chores. He prefers me coming over to his place because he has a nicer place than I. (plus some parking problems in my place)

I never had this issue with my last relationship. We always did things together and worked as a team but still, the relationship did not last. I’m happier when I do things together with my partner. It feels like we’re a team and I’m not a princess. It becomes an issue whenever he tells me that I am being a princess when he never lets me help him do things.

I want my partner to see that I am capable of taking care of him and that I am wife material. I already talked to him about it and he said he understands yet he still takes control every time.

Should I do this too? I’m pretty good at cooking and I haven’t cooked for him since February.

[–]yungsweetro2 Stars[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmm, it seems like he’s very sensitive about his space and having control over his kitchen. If you’ve brought it up and he acknowledged it but doesn’t seem to be able to help it, I’d accept that it’s a touchy subject for him and let him adjust at his own pace.

Preparing a picnic for him would be a great idea if it’s inconvenient for you guys to spend time at your place! You can show him just how good you are at cooking and maybe he’ll like the food so much he’ll let you cook more at his place ;) feel free to PM me if you wanna brainstorm stuff to make - it’s super fun for me hehe!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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