Note: I’m no expert and still have a long way to go. I’m not trying to teach women how to get an engagement or a proposal and wouldn’t feel qualified to do so. For all the women who struggled to get past the talking stage like I did, hopefully this field report on achieving the first level of commitment gives some insight!
In my adult life, I never had trouble attracting men. Keeping them, on the other hand, was definitely an issue. I was never a part of the hook-up/casual sex scene, but even guys who were looking for relationships ultimately decided that I just wasn’t it. If the only common denominator in all these failed relationships was myself, it had to be something about my behavior that turned them off. After a year of reading RPW as a joke while simultaneously getting ghosted by the guys I was talking to, I figured why not just try these silly tactics? It’s not like I’d have worse luck than I already did.
First, I threw away the notion that men want the pedestalized ice princess, the Regina George of whatever room or party you’re in. Sure, she’s a smokeshow and the envy of many women, but that doesn’t automatically make her the ideal mate for men. Instead, I made myself more open, warm, and approachable, sometimes even approaching cute guys myself and finding ways to casually initiate. What I found was that most men are very receptive to this kind of warmth and it helped me understand a bit more about how men worked. As my warmth increased, I noticed that the caliber of men who were interested in me improved as well.
When I met my current LTR and eventually started dating him thanks to what I learned from RPW, things were going good but I still didn’t have the level of commitment I wanted. Instead of retreating and playing hard to get, or feeling entitled that I deserve x amount of commitment just because we’ve been on y amount of dates, I tried to figure out ways to show what feminine values I could bring to the table. I embraced how to STFU and learned to treat him with respect. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and didn’t hide my tender underbelly that I so angrily protected in previous relationships. I could see him developing stronger feelings for me, so I did one final thing that truly sealed the deal.
I planned a picnic for us. It sounds simplistic and even juvenile to think that this is what got him to commit, but I could tell that after this picnic, he fell in love. I told him that I wanted to thank him for all the times he picked me up and treated me on dates, helped me with difficult errands and homework, and just because I enjoyed spending time with him. Perhaps this was an unusual gesture for people our age (I was 20 then, he was 21), because he was quite shocked that I proposed this. Still, he was happy to lead and told me he would surprise me with a good place to have the picnic at. Once the plans were set, I went in on the prepwork.
I kept track of all the foods he mentioned he liked, and asked my parents and friends what was the best thing I ever cooked for them. I took a risk and tried to make something he told me he craved but I had never made before, and also made sure that the three other things I cooked were as perfect as I could manage. It probably took 2 days of planning and prepping, which seems excessive, but I truly wanted to show him how thankful I was to have him in my life.
We arrived at the location he took us to and it was beautiful and serene. As I took out all of the food I prepared, I could see how surprised he was at the amount of effort I put in. The dish I took a risk on was a flop and we both couldn’t finish it lol. Everything else, he loved and he told me how impressed he was at my cooking skills. Even if it wasn’t perfect, I could see him beaming at how this picnic made him feel. I think with all the effort and consideration I put in, I signaled to him how much I cared for and respected him, and it made him feel the same for me. Though he treated me well before, I could tell he saw me in a completely different light. He had many other women trying to get at him (I only found out about this much later lol) and had his own issues with commitment in the past, but by doing this picnic, I had somehow set myself apart from his exes and the ladies in his DMs.
It’s been smooth sailing ever since and we’ve only fallen deeper in love and become even more committed to each other. I hope this post doesn’t come off as boastful - I’m not saying that I have incredible beauty or mystique and that’s how I bagged my man. In fact, I probably pale in physical comparison to the literal models my LTR dated in the past. It’s the RPW strategies and toolbag that helped me land him, and I wanted to share my own experience to all the skeptics out there, from a former skeptic myself! It really does work :)