How is it that my traditional, conservative husband seems to be way lest "sexist" than the majority of femnist's husbands I know

Key-Progress-8873 · 2021-11-26T05:26:31+00:00

Conservative men accept that women & men are different, and therefore will accept women as they are. This does mean that (genuinely) conservative men will be less judgemental.

amyfannu134 · 2021-11-26T03:06:50+00:00

Sounds like he’s just a good dude :)

Kay_Lore · 2021-11-26T03:07:03+00:00

Because at least traditional men believe in supporting and providing for their family no matter what, even if it means having to do some of the “woman’s” job. They understand that cooking, cleaning and childcare is just as big of a job as breadwinning is.

Many modern men seem to think that a “strong independent woman” can do it all while he’s allowed to do little in comparison. And while they definitely try, it doesn’t go over well.

GrislyMedic · 2021-11-26T03:39:07+00:00

Because feminist men say they're feminist only because they believe if they agree with everything she says she'll touch his wiener or they're overcompensating for something terrible they did in the past.

RPslimjim · 2021-11-27T00:52:41+00:00

Many trad con men know that women are the compliment to men. He doesn’t mind stepping in from time to time to give you some space to recharge because he knows it’s a tough job.

Also, you seem to be in your feminine energy which is what truly drives us men. A man will literally go to the ends of the earth do his family when the wife is supportive and peaceful.

You’re doing wonderful and I’m really happy you posted this because it shows men and women how each party in a hetero marriage compliments each other.

riskykitten1207 · 2021-11-26T18:42:11+00:00

I have wondered the same about my husband. He is very much not like the stereotype. I got downvoted a ton for defending conservative men when it comes to taking care of a newborn. My husband does not mind changing diapers, doing feedings, and just picking up any of my slack in general. He never complains.

HappilyMrs · 2021-11-27T13:22:22+00:00

My husband is great, takes care of me, works alongside me where it's needed, looks after our son without calling it babysitting. He is also very liberal (as I am), and definitely feminist (he has actively called out his male friends for behaving in inappropriate ways to women, doesn't count rape jokes as just "locker room banter", feels women aren't given equal pay and that women should be safe from rape and harassment in any public space regardless of inebriation and clothing. He believes toxic masculinity is bad but positive masculinity is great). We live a traditional sort of life, because it suits us personally, but neither of us really feels it suits everyone.

I dont think it's about lib/cons, trad/prog. It's whether he is a decent man or not. Sadly, an awful lot of men don't know how to be good men, just like a lot of women dont know how to be good women.

JadedByEntropy · 2021-11-26T03:16:16+00:00

They expect it because "ugh.. men" "men are so dumb" and thats just "how they are". They don't expect more...they just criticize them for being scum and dont actually have standards. Men bite back and become what their expected to be...abusive.

The men who accept being caled toxic and being put down constantly to their face, online, and behind their back arent exactly winners.

mysterygurl_ · 2021-11-26T03:38:58+00:00

Was the referring to taking care of their child as “babysitting” part inspired by a recent AITA post? Cause I saw that post too👀👀

purplepansy88 · 2021-11-26T15:09:08+00:00

In my experience men who call themselves feminists have sinister motivations.

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2021-11-26T03:25:40+00:00

Have you considered that perhaps these women are drawn to feminism because they're stuck with men who are demeaning and unhelpful? It's easy to love men when you have a wonderful one in your life. If your partner is more of a drain than an asset then independence and taking control might be the most appealing option.

thepretendchristian · 2021-11-28T04:58:31+00:00

In modern day western culture we’ve become incredibly spoiled, especially men who weren’t raised with strong family values and work ethic.

They expect college to be paid for by someone else. They expect jobs to be handed them and if they can’t easily find jobs then they expect the state to pay for their needs. They expect women to pay for half of everything. They expect women to have sex with them and if they can’t find an easy lay they expect porn to be accessible. They expect someone else to raise the kids at a day care center or at school. They expect life to be easy peasy lemon squeezy. They expect a lot of things to be placed gently in the palms of their hands.

It wasn’t a question between my parents for my father to take up a second job. He worked a full time job Monday thru Friday and worked a part time job on the evenings every other day. My mom didn’t have to work and only picked up jobs here and there because she wanted to (her money went to vacation trips for the most part). My father never once made my mother feel bad for not working. Even when they got into fights, he never used it against her. He was raised knowing that it was the man’s primary concern to provide financially for the family. He also knew how to cook (honestly, no offense to my mom, he was better cook than she was) and would cook for us when he could because he enjoyed it. That’s the culture he was raised in as a Catholic Italian born in the 50s. These men know understand their role in the family and their family comes before anything else.

If your culture is family first, things tend to just fall in place the way it should. Not perfectly-no one is perfect- but it just clicks. It makes sense. There’s no competition in a loving relationship, there’s no sacrifice to great when it comes to your spouse or children. Unfortunately, mainstream culture isn’t family oriented.

SnooRobots5509 · 2021-11-26T17:34:25+00:00

I think framing this observation as a liberal vs conservative is an unproductive way to look at things. There are kind people, and there are less kind people, it's only a statistic that tell us that ie conservatives are less empathetic than liberals, but your life is not a statistic.

By trying to look for some overarching pattern based on your very anecdotal experience you're not doing yourself any cognitive favors.

yourbadformylungs · 2021-11-26T18:54:40+00:00

Men that openly claim to be feminist or liberal turn out to be more sexist than some of the conservatives in my experience.

Although there’s definitely conservative, traditional husbands that can be pretty sexist and biased as well.

Pola_Lita · 2021-11-26T09:22:43+00:00

These women may have come to feminism only lately. Or they may have had the idea that their husbands would change over time. Or he may have actually changed for the worse or it's only now that the behavior really matters in their lives.

Personally, I would have no clue how to shop for, cook and serve a Thanksgiving dinner for 20 or whatever amount of people come in an average extended family. I can call for pizza or barbecue for 4 or 5, but that's it. It doesn't mean I'm dumb.

Do you know any couples wherein one votes left and the other right, but they still love each other very much? It's like that.

My husband is sexist and it was a non-negotiable with him that we live a gender rolled relationship, but that doesn't mean he's thoughtless or unkind to me. Feminist beliefs don't automatically mean a person is thoughtful or even healthy to be around, either.

We're working on our own babies but I've never heard his ex complain seriously about the way they cared for theirs when they were together.

Generalizing about people based on their politics (or worse, the internet) is never a good idea.

anothergoodbook · 2021-11-26T11:41:10+00:00

I think there are lots of good and thoughtful responses here.

I wonder also if these women expect the lowest common denominator from their men and then get it because that’s what they expected.

How many of these women genuinely ask for help and then accept the help they receive. Or do they correct and demean their husband? And then complain he didn’t help (I’ve seen that dynamic a lot in my husband’s family).

Submersiv · 2021-11-26T18:43:04+00:00

Yes, that's because when both sides are aiming to do their natural part properly, there's more room in the relationship for empathy and understanding. Meanwhile these sad feminists don't understand what men need out of the relationship and don't give it to him, so the whole time the man feels no gratitude for what he brings to the table and thus has less patience when things actually need to get done.

cartmaninfit · 2021-11-26T03:50:10+00:00

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PracticalRaspberry23 · 2021-11-26T15:58:21+00:00

I don't think your husband is traditional. Traditional men don't know how to cook a meal since that's not expected by them according to gender roles. To be honest he comes off a lot modern and liberal by your description.

ZombiFelineTuba · 2021-12-03T04:03:21+00:00

Because Liberals think women need to be STRONG and independent which means do all the work while the the conservatives don't think that while the Centerists are middle ground

rerechan12 · 2021-12-13T04:27:15+00:00

I don't think it's about conservatism or feminism. It's just an individual thing. You found a great husband. Congrats!

Title	How is it that my traditional, conservative husband seems to be way lest "sexist" than the majority of femnist's husbands I know
Author	LaynieFloyd
Upvotes	167
Comments	62
Date	November 26, 2021 2:47 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-is-it-that-my-traditional-conservative-husband.1086516 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086516
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/r2d091/how_is_it_that_my_traditional_conservative/