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How much can you ask for?

June 21, 2017

General discussion.

Nowadays women have the privilege of choosing what they want - everything is about "What do you want from life?" "Are you sure this is what you want?" "Do you know what you want?"

But how much can you ask for?

For instance, is it too much to say "I want to live in San Francisco, work at a job I love, and have a family (or have my boyfriend move there with me)?"

How much should you sacrifice?

And if you don't believe you should sacrifice anything, why?

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Post Information
Title How much can you ask for?
Author vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes 6
Comments 7
Date June 21, 2017 6:17 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]isabeavis15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I personally think nothing comes without sacrifice. You cannot have a superstar career and be a superstar mom. You cannot live in London with a mediocre job and expect to have a beautiful house in Zone 1. You cannot be a public figure and have complete privacy. So, if you are unwilling to do/have B, you should not pursue A.

For me, being a mediocre mom wasn't an option (I want to be a great mom), so I have sacrificed a lot of advancement at work. I like having a disposable income in order to take lots of trips every year and buy whatever I want, so we have a smaller house.

Perhaps that is a pessimistic attitude, but I feel it's more real to not expect everything.

[–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you are kind of looking at it the wrong way. It's more about realizing what your priorities are, and what you are willing to give up. Because realistically, you can have all these things and be reasonably happy, but not necessarily all at the same time.

For example; to illustrate my point, let's say this was actually in priority order.

  1. I want to live in San Francisco

  2. work at a job I love

  3. have a family (or have my boyfriend move there with me)

If your 1st priority is moving to San Francisco, the first thing you have to tackle is getting a job there, and acceping the fact that it is very expensive to live there. So, you find a job. Any job will do at this point as long as it fulfills the requirements that it is both in SF, and pays well enough that you can move there.

So, the job you find may not be one that you like, or even in your field, but it gets you to SF. Unfortunately you can't support your boyfriend on the salary of the job you were able to get, so you agree to do an LDR until he finds work there.

Now onto your second priority, now that you are in SF you can focus on finding a job that you love. Well, realistically the job that you would love would not pay the bills in SF, so you have to settle for a job that you like and that would pay your bills. But, a job like that would require some more schooling. So you go back to school. At this point you are working a job that you don't like and going to school. You realize you just don't time to dedicate to your relationship, you guys haven't even talked in a month. So you break it off.

But you get out of school and eventually find a job that you like, and can enjoy from day to day. Now you can relax a little and work on priority 3. You are a bit older at this point, but you meet a guy. He is a divorced single dad with two kids, but he has a great smile and a happy go-lucky attitude. You end up marrying him, and have a fairly happy marriage. The ex is annoying, but you adore his kids, and you have a family.

See, you can have "it all" if you are willing to make compromises, and realize sometimes "good" can be a substitute for "great".

[–]LawyerInTheMaking2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think the real question you have is what a lot of woman ask which is, "can we really have it all?"

My answer would be sure, you could have it all but if I told you that you can't have it all at once or at the same time, can you live with that? The only person who can answer that question is you lol.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How much should you sacrifice?

You can't sacrifice something you don't already have.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think a lot of the problems can come from being impatient. A lot of goals one has in life, especially the really good ones, like a dream home or certain career/lifestyle, take a lot of work and pretty careful planning.

I don't think you necessarily ever have to really sacrifice one goal for another. Sure you might have it planned out one way in your head and things may conflict somewhat in reality, but there's usually always a solution or compromise. Life has a way of giving you solutions to things like that.

Getting to your goal does usually require sacrifice of some sort even if it's temporary. As of yet it's still impossible to be in two places at once doing two different things and until that happens this will still be an issue. I don't think the three goals mentioned in particular are unreasonable. Might take a bit to get there, but not an impossibility.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

BTDT...And it is possible and it can work.

[–]somebody_iswatching0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How much can I ask for? Who's giving it out? Pretty much work as hard as you can for what you want and sometimes even if you work hard you're not going to get it. Do what you do to make you happy and if you can't be happy then try to make do.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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