My boyfriend is 5’8 and I’m 5’6. Some old friends of mine — of whom I no longer associate with — used to constantly laugh at, and ridicule, my boyfriend behind his back. They loved to poke fun at our relationship. Nothing they said was harmless, in my opinion. Not even when they’d claim I “must wear the pants.” It hurts more when they’d make fun of him, than when they made fun of me, even though I know he is secure in his height. I’ve gotten over them saying he needs to be with a smaller girl and that I’m too tall to be feminine. I haven’t gotten over them reducing his worth to nothing over something he literally cannot control. Sure, he can’t see over my head when he’s standing behind me, but I love him and he IS a man.

As you can see, their mean words have left some lingering insecurity in me. I feel that — because he can’t throw me around like a little rag-doll — I am not feminine enough for him, and that I make him feel emasculated (potentially all in my head).

Is anyone with someone that is only slightly taller than them/shorter than them? How can we cater to this lack of height difference to make our partners, and ourselves, feel more secure and safe? Because, let’s be honest, feminine women are expected to be much shorter than their significant other and I’m sure the partner may feel that societal pressure as well.