How to cheer up fiancé when he’s overwhelmed?

Medium-River558 · 2020-10-08T14:55:02+00:00

No offense, but focusing on being an inspiration shouldn't be your burden. Give him space and don't cloud him with details of your day when he first gets home and if you don't do that anyway, then it sounds like you're doing the best you can.

Stressed out men seem to respond quite favorably to head massages and a meal though.

Eosei · 2020-10-08T15:19:17+00:00

If the plan is that in a few years you will graduate and get a day job and he will start his own business (especially if there is plans to have kids too), this is probably good practice for that time, as it most likely won't be stress-free. You could ask him, if there's anything you could do for him. Other than that I don't know what to tell you if you are already doing all the things and he doesn't have any wishes, except maybe make a point to appreciate the money he brings in. And, perhaps starting his own business isn't an option just yet, but finding a less stressful job for the the time being might be worth suggesting, for both of your sanity's sake.

EdwardHoverhands · 2020-10-09T03:45:10+00:00

Men, by and large, like to present a tough front. The dead-last thing you want to do is force him to open up to you therapy-style. "Helping a man relax" is akin to you seeing him show weakness, at least in many men's minds, which means they won't stand for it. Forcing help can and will backfire harder than a broken car engine.

However, it shows excellent thoughtfulness on your part to offer to help. Most likely, he'll say no, but offering is key. So... start by asking: "Is there anything I can do to lift your mood a little?" If he says "no" or "I'm fine", believe it and abort mission; let him relax on his own. At that point, it's not out of line to ask: "How about a beer? Do you want a porter or an IPA?", but that's the maximum you should do at this point. I, personally, don't want physical touch when I feel stressed, sad, or vulnerable, but every man is different. If you know for sure that he'll like it, offer that too; keep it nonchalant, like: "Hug?"

If you have a pet, I got a hack: send in the pet to jump on him. Play it off as a semi-joke: "Well, you turned me down, but maybe [pet's name] can lift your mood." Dogs in particular are great at comforting the vulnerable. And unlike with a person, a man who wants to put up a tough front won't have a problem with a pet comforting him.

morganKxoxo · 2020-10-08T17:30:00+00:00

Help create a relaxing place for him. You said you already cook and clean the house, that’s awesome. Does he enjoy playing video games? Maybe you could get him a new game for him to play and wind down. Does he like spa stuff? You could draw him a bath and turn off the lights, set out some candles and nice music and let him have a nice relaxing bath. Mainly just find out his love language and take action through those things to make his life easier.

Also just try to be a safe place for him to vent. My husband comes home frustrated from work most days and just wants to vent, he wants me to listen and hear him out NOT try to tell him my opinions on what he should do to solve the problems. So just listening is very valuable

amergent · 2020-10-08T23:02:00+00:00

Blow him.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2020-10-09T16:29:24+00:00

While you want him to associate you with his happiness, you shouldn’t be the only source of it. He needs to find ways to destress after work.

When my boyfriend comes home after work, we hug and kiss as soon as he comes through the door and I ask him how his day went. Then I follow up with asking him to tell me more. If it’s a short synopsis and he’s not enthused, I leave him alone. If he’s going into longer stories, I take the time to listen and ask questions.

IcarusKiki · 2020-10-10T17:18:01+00:00

Give him space when he’s stressed and continue being a soft spot to land

clitorophagy · 2020-10-08T23:50:06+00:00

Blowjobs

LuanHenning · 2020-10-16T03:20:43+00:00

Well, surely space is very important.

I myself don't like people trying to help me when I'm stressed out, I rather be alone for a bit.

The thing is that there must be something very bad in his work to make him so stressed out. You can give him space or make him a massage today and he would get a little bit better, but the underlying problem would remain.

The way to actually solve this is to solve whatever problem he has at the workplace, or to find another job if that's not possible.

Do you think It's possible that he's feeling hold back by the relation in regards to starting his business? That may be worth a conversation.

Title	How to cheer up fiancé when he’s overwhelmed?
Author	Medium-River558
Upvotes	61
Comments	23
Date	October 8, 2020 2:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-cheer-up-fiance-when-hes-overwhelmed.317752 https://theredarchive.com/post/317752
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/j7efw8/how_to_cheer_up_fiancé_when_hes_overwhelmed/