~ archived since 2018 ~

How to get over my jealousy for man.

December 11, 2021
27 upvotes

Lately, Recently I am swallowing hared truth about women's value.Life is truly bad after 30 unless you are married with good man. I am jealous of man who can enjoy sex life without any consequences.Its great that they will be valued for something they worked hard.It is opposite for women.They don't get period,pregnant, stretch marks are less common for them.Even if someone says woman are also valued in something ,it doesn't make me feel good.Phsical Attractiveness of men lasts longer than physical Attractiveness of woman. Even if men make mistakes and lose good woman,still he can get his shit together be hvm and can get younger good wife but that good wife will hit wall later especially if she had kids.

I am on my self improvement journey.I am taking care of skin, exercising.Whenever I see men at Gym I immediately get jealous.My brother has long eyelashes and good looking,he wash his face with towel and perfect skin. He is going have good times later on.I even think about choosing to die before turning 30.

Whenever I see my improved body.I just feel sad as it not gonna stay same forever. pregnancy and age are going to take toll.I have to be okay with sharing men (I am monogamous)as his smv will get high.I don't know how I will do it.Problem is i want to adopt kids rather than get pregnant.But I realised no true hvm wants that.If infertile,you gonna get dumped.

I know this is unhealthy for me but I am getting hard time over this and it is affecting me.If you guys felt same way how do you dealt with it?How did you swallowed hard truth and moved forward?

Edit-Wow,I am surprised for getting upvotes .I thought I will be hated for this.Thank you for upvotes.

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Post Information
Title How to get over my jealousy for man.
Author Glad-Discount-4761
Upvotes 27
Comments 72
Date December 11, 2021 4:58 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-get-over-my-jealousy-for-man.1087430
https://theredarchive.com/post/1087430
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/re3tul/how_to_get_over_my_jealousy_for_man/
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Comments

[–]emmalai85 33 points34 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm nearing 40, and I'm not single, i'm married, happily to the love of my life but he finds pregnancy beautiful, he loves my body. Not all men think you need to have the body of an 18 year old virgin to find you attractive. I gave him his offspring, but I also didn't get fat. I took good care of myself over the years, to keep up with him.

I don't accept that this is the truth. I think I increase my value because of shared experiences, because I'm pregnant with #7, that he loves me pregnant, loves pregnant sex, loves raising a large family with me, that I am willing to work hard to support him emotionally, and be there for him and be available, I'm not materialistic, I value his time and attention, if he gives me that, I worship him. I want *him* - and I am realistic enough to know women find him desirable, he doesn't have to be with me, he chooses to be.

I don't need a fancy house, or a fancy car, or clothes- and i've had those things, but I don't NEED those things to be happy, I'm happiest sitting on the front porch drinking coffee, with his arm around my waist watching the sun go down, snuggling with him on a lazy morning, curled up around his leg while he pets my hair.

Did pregnancy and getting older, change me, yes, but I am not fat, I'm capable of keeping up with him, and we are almost 14 years apart, the idea of picking a woman in her early 20's at almost 50 bothers him since he has adult age children with me now - he wouldn't want to marry someone young enough to produce his grandchildren.

Try to find someone to share memories and life experiences with, who will value you for the things you bring to their life, for the time and effort you put into the relationship.

Men and women are different, we are supposed to complement each other, not compete. We aren't supposed to be the same.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]emmalai85 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't. I just listen to my body. I get hormones/vitamins checked yearly, I ask my husband to help me eat healthier or watch my portions and help weigh me or make me go for walks and get out of the house.

I don't usually eat my feelings, I aim for a gallon of water per day while breastfeeding or pregnant.

I like me thinner than my husband likes me, so if I'm a few pounds heavier than my preference he loves my bubble butt, lol 😆

I take my thyroid meds, liquid calories sneak up on you, pay attention to what your drinking.

I have a high metabolism, but it slows down if I'm not active or my thyroid is off, so I proactively pay attention.

[–]MrsChiliad 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m not the OP of this answer, but I’m on my second pregnancy and I’ve been at a healthy weight my whole life. The answer to that is the same as it is at any point in life: a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and exercise (in that order. Sleep is actually more important than exercise, and diet is responsible for something like 80% of weight gain or loss, so the other two are almost negligible in comparison).

The reason women (and men too!) have bigger trouble maintaining a healthy weight as they get older and specially after kids, is because you can’t get away with being unhealthy anymore. When you’re young, cake for breakfast, drinking often and pulling all nighters might have little impact on your health. That’s just not true anymore as you get older.

[–]emmalai85 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed

[–]JustaTcup 12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Why on earth are you comparing yourself and your realities to a man's? I'm not really understanding why you would do that. And what are you even talking about you have to share a man? Where are you getting all of these ideas from? It isn't just the two I asked about. It's the lot of them. You need to fix the way you're thinking. Something's not right.

[–]thunderousmegabitch 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm wondering if OP is from a middle-eastern country, her way of writing and overall way of thinking are pointing towards that for me. If she is, then we have to consider that too.

[–]JustaTcup 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh really? I thought she was from an Asian country, myself. But neither really matters.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]JustaTcup 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mmm ok then it's the way you're choosing to look at the information you're getting. We talk about improving ourselves a lot on here so that we will be good matches but the part you're missing is that we want to be good matches with men who are ALSO working on being the best they can be too. It's a two-way street.

The other thing is that you can't judge men by reading women. Get to know men themselves. Sometimes people have bad experiences too and post them on this sub. It doesn't mean all men are that way. It's just the particular experiences of that particular woman who is posting at the time.

Maybe in a way you make a good point that we don't praise men enough on this sub but then again this is a woman's sub lol so yah it's not based around that.

[–]Jenneapolis 34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I’m 38 and I definitely disagree. I have enjoyed my 30s and particularly my late 30s much more than my 20s and I’ve been both in relationships and single throughout my 30s. In my 20s I was just trying to get ahead and make a path for myself in life. Now I have my career set and I’m able to have much more fun. I know myself and I quit worrying about what people think or trying to compare where I am at in life with others. There are plenty of women out there who are married with kids and extremely unhappy, I see it with my friends. The key is not to just be married, the key is to have fulfilling relationships of all kinds. No matter your age you have to figure out how to make yourself happy before anybody else can, truly.

[–]cheez_Ina_pan 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

TRP is not real life beyond this sub. Yes, some of the rules and principles can generally apply, but for men who have never heard of it, TRP is not their bible. Work on being the best version of yourself you can and you are already miles ahead of many women. You sound really young. Life flies at you fast. Thirty sounds so old to you now, but once you get there you won’t feel the same. It’s not a sell by date like they want to make it seem like around here. I have a very high quality husband and 3 kids at 34. I stay in shape and do all that but he loves me so much that he has major wife goggles for me even if I don’t look exactly like I did when I met him at 27. Relax and just focus on cultivating a life you feel proud of and the right man will come along. Reading the content of these subs will make you feel like you’ll never find happiness and even if you do you won’t be able to hold onto it cause you will hit “the wall”. Consider the source. I’m willing to bet a lot of the men saying those things are either really young, or are not very high quality men themselves.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for replying.You are right.Reading content of subs is making me unhappy.I already lost myself for few months now.

[–]cheez_Ina_pan 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Maybe stop reading for a bit and step back. A lot of those men are very bitter and cringy. The world is much less black and white than they will have you believe. Focus on you. Don’t focus on a set of made up rules by internet strangers as a playbook for your life.

[–]Underground-anzac-99 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

These are, remember, the same types who believe a vagina is like a tree.

Just as a year adds a ring, another penis then another stretches it out further and further, until you can see it on google maps.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is that statement true?I am sorry if I am being too naive

[–]Underground-anzac-99 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No it absolutely isn’t true but I’ve seen these utterly insane ideas pop up in rp and pick up subs. It isn’t allegory, they actually believe this.

[–]MrsChiliad 27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The way to let it stop bothering you is to realize men and women are different. Of course this is an oversimplification, but at the end of the day, that’s what it is.

You’re having a hard time because you’re putting men and women in the same boxes but you realize the destination and the outcomes for each of them aren’t the same. The mistake is putting them in the same boxes to begin with.

Yeah, men generally speaking, age better than women. Men aren’t judged and don’t feel the consequences, in more than one sense, of sleeping around that women do. But we shouldn’t be trying to live the same lives and experience the world the same way. And in many cases men have it worse than women. Their looks might stay better with age, but their health doesn’t, for example. And we end up living 10 years longer on average.

You’re looking at both men and women from the female lens, which is yours, and assuming men see women the same way you see men. They don’t. Yeah if your husband used to be perfectly muscular and over time got some stretch marks and a belly that was softer.. perhaps that would bother you? (Though to be honest I don’t think so, marriage is a lot more than that, and even when speaking about physical attractiveness, this is super trivial). If you’re attractive now, get married and have kids, and because of that your stomach isn’t as flat and you have stretch marks... Honestly, men won’t care about it as much as you think. And even then, stretch marks fade, you can get back in shape, etc… all of this doesn’t matter that much to be honest.

It sounds to me that you’re lacking perspective. That you’re comparing your future, post kids, married, self with a single early 20s woman. What does it matter if her SMV is higher than yours? You’d be in different points of your lives, and by then you will have higher value in many areas that she doesn’t. If you married well, you bring value to your partner’s life and you stay attractive to them, you're not in competition with that hypothetical woman.

[–]FuzzyDice12 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perfect reply IMO

[–]Diamond-Breath 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Men don't age better than women, it's just that they're allowed to age.

[–]MrsChiliad 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don’t agree with OP’s point of view - or at the very least with the conclusions she’s drawing from her observations - and was trying to put things from a perspective that she’d relate to. But I think it’s foolish to equate men and women like that. Female peak attractiveness is in fact earlier and more fleeting than male’s. And it goes down in a way that it doesn’t for men after having kids.

[–]HLaotv3You 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s not more fleeting. It’s as simple as men just not typically liking women their own age. Most men look better in their 20’s when they have hair, no gut, and good stamina, things that change around the age of 40, just as things change for women

[–]Underground-anzac-99 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought men aged better then a few years ago I saw a film w you g Alec Baldwin. Holy shit there is NO comparison! He might have aged relatively well and have a far, far younger wife but he was much better looking then. It’s just that men get things to compensate that women do not.

[–]AriesAsF 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Boy you sure sound pleasant to be around! I think your problems are more in your head (and your personality) than with your skin or body. Maybe start there.

[–]ladida1321 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being bitter about not being a man and coming up with all these insane and completely false “hard truths” is not attractive at all.

You’re correct this thinking is unhealthy. You might consider therapy.

[–]mysterygurl_ 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

“If infertile, you gonna get dumped” Um, what?

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]DoppelGangHer88 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't know why this is downvoted. Infertility is a huge barrier to a relationship if the man wants to create a biological legacy; it's not nice but it's true.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]DoppelGangHer88 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There was at least one, but it's all good. :)

[–]PhaedrusHunt 14 points15 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

I left my wife after two beautiful children together and a pretty damned good life-- on paper. Why? Because she was insufferable, an endless nag, dressed like a slob, argued with everyone all the time, and because she was extremely jealous. She worried so much about me cheating with a younger woman that I finally figured might as well do it if I'm going to be accused of it constantly.

I think some people are just destined to be miserable. Is that you? You want to keep this attitude up? You foresee doom? You'll GET doom. You have fear? You'll be eaten by it, and you'll see that you were right the entire time, that the world is out to destroy you, that the walls are closing in, that no man would ever want you. Keep thinking the way you are, that's EXACTLY what you'll get. And you'll deserve every bit of that misery, because misery, m'lady, is the vibration you're radiating out into the world. Right now, that's your vibration. Dark.

If you want something else, change your vibration. I don't know of any other way.

[–][deleted]  (22 children) | Copy Link

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[–]PhaedrusHunt 8 points9 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, we would have stayed together if she could have somehow found a way to be a more decent person. Her body didn't bother me. I watched both of our kids be born and I understand what a woman's body goes through. Some women seem to have a hard time bouncing back, but they are usually lazy and don't want to work out, change their eating habits, or get a better attitude.

A good attitude is really the most important thing. A good personality will take you a long way.

[–][deleted]  (20 children) | Copy Link

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[–]PhaedrusHunt 2 points3 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

No, I think it's good that you get time to work out and be by yourself. It shows a commitment to yourself and being healthy. I don't think a well adjusted man would have a problem with that.

[–][deleted]  (18 children) | Copy Link

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[–]PhaedrusHunt 5 points6 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

Some men-- even high value men-- actually don't want kids. If you can't have kids and don't want to adopt, just be clear about that from the beginning.

I DO want kids, and now that I'm single, I'm clear about that when I meet a new woman. If she doesn't want kids but I'm still attracted to her, that's fine, we can have some fun, but I will eventually find a woman that DOES want kids.

I think you have created some narrative in your own mind that is limiting your options. There is definitely someone out there that can be a good match for you.

[–][deleted]  (16 children) | Copy Link

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[–]JustaTcup 1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

If you have some sort of illness that prevents you from having children, you need to tell a man this BEFORE you're in a relationship with him. That's only fair. Mmm and too? I think you have a really bad view of men that's going to get in your way.

[–][deleted]  (12 children) | Copy Link

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[–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe you're right. I don't know your area, culture, or personal story.

[–]DoppelGangHer88 10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

That's just biology; there's nothing you can do about it.

Our bodies were designed to make babies and our hormones make us want to fulfil our destinies to be mothers. Being a mother is so important men are biologically wired to willingly take care of you your whole life, including giving their life for yours, even if you're not their woman and even if you can't/don't have children.

Women have intrinsic value based on our ability to bring life into the world; men don't. A woman is born, a man is created through hard work and discipline.

Being a woman is a privilege; there's nothing to be jealous of men about.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]DoppelGangHer88 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't mind, at all. I have a beautiful son and am planning for his sibling to arrive some time next year!

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]DoppelGangHer88 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, sis :)!

[–]DoppelGangHer88 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I loved being pregnant and I can't wait to be pregnant again. The feeling of my body changing to accommodate the life inside me and then feeling that life quicken was a spiritual and sacred experience, and I say that as an atheist. That's what people are talking about when they describe divine femininity; especially as my husband and I planned it and were ready to bring a baby into the world.

My husband loved my pregnant body (a little too much, IMO lol). My body after the pregnancy wasn't the same, of course, but my beautiful son and the feeling of being a mother is more than worth that sacrifice.

Our bodies are going to change and age, no matter what we do, I think what's more important than our physical bodies is the legacy we build and create for the future. That's the burden of a woman.

Having said that; I did have a lot of complications (gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia) and was in labor for three days. My second trimester, I was nauseous and irritated 24/7. During labor, I professed I'd never do it again and literally right after I gave birth, I was excited about doing it again.

[–]thunderousmegabitch 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wait wait wait. Are HVM supposed to be cheating on us? Do 100% of HVM want kids with not even a single one of them being childfree?

Because if either of those is true, then I can confidently declare that I don't want a HVM. I'd much rather be in a healthy relationship with someone who loves me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. And I do not ever wish to get pregnant or birth children, so a man being comfortable with this concept is necessary.

Please someone tell me if this sub is anti-monogamy and/or anti-childree I never got these vibes from it, but after reading some comments here, I'm thinking I might have to leave it if it is.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]DoppelGangHer88 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you married?

[–]FuzzyDice12 -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I’m a male, love reading posts on this sub although it’s my first comment here.

You are looking only at the positives of men while ignoring the negatives and ignoring the positives of women. It’s kind of like the glass half empty/half full idea.

The other thing is, not very many men are HVM. I happen to be one. I will tell you, I love stretch marks, and some of the things you are saying, are true on a case by case scenario. But it takes a lot of sacrifice to become a HVM in most scenarios and the type of personality traits it takes, is why women are attracted to them and willing to share them in many cases.

I would settle with a 7 instead of the 9’s I can pull based on personality. If you are enjoyable to be around, sexual, feminine(very important), then that’s what most dudes want. Realistically, with HVM it’s tough to find monogamy, especially/even if they go into marriage young and feel strongly about it. If this bothers you, there are plenty of non HVM out there that will be glad to take you, but there’s a reason there’s plenty of them out there lol.

The best advice I can give here is remember you marry your husband and not your children. A lot of women seem to ignore hubby when kids are born(I’m not talking about the first 3 months I’m more than reasonable) and expect their husband to always be there while they aren’t there for him. 9/10 the dudes I know divorce or pursue outside of the marriage, some wives are ok with it, some don’t know.

As far as age, HVM IMO have a baseline of physical fitness and health no matter the age. So if you let yourself go and your man isn’t, that’s a problem. Kids are only an excuse for a short time, a HVM can provide the means that you can be at the gym for an hour a couple times a week and should encourage it. You are a representation of him in a sense. Will you age worse? Most times yes women age worse than men who take care of themselves, but if you take care of yourself it shows, not only on your physique but your attitude and energy.

There’s nothing sexier IMO than a woman who feels sexy and takes care of herself. I’ve seen 50yo women at the gym I thought to myself, “damn I’d hit that”.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for replying Yeah non Monogamy is getting difficult for me to accept as this reminds me of my dad cheating on mom .The condition was not good.Can you please tell me how should I come in term with it?How should I tell man about it?Another problem is my infertility issues which man wouldn't like it.Any hvm man will not choose me over this.I would love your advice.

[–]FuzzyDice12 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I mean I noticed I got downvoted for being real but it is what it is.

May I ask why you are set on a HVM? There are plenty of guys who just want an average life, make ok money(like 50k give or take) and have less opportunity to cheat because they have less options. Doesn’t mean they have bad personalities but they may not be as driven, leadership qualities, etc but will love you and likely stay faithful, or at least your odds are better. The personality of a HVM IMO is what leads to always wanting more of everything, and better. I’m speaking for myself here too.

In a HVM marriage scenario with non-monogamy, you have to focus on the good instead of the bad(what happens outside the marriage). So you get the house, the marriage, the pictures on social media that clearly show you are his and vice versa, the ring. The other women may want that but they will never get it. I didn’t bring up kids because of your fertility issue but what if you found a HVM that already had kids? That solves that issue as long as you are ok with that. Don’t look for fair, there’s give and take. If 80% or more of your needs are met, is it worth giving that up for monogamy? 80% is a hell of a lot. But women get stuck on this idea of settling if they don’t get 100%. That’s how they end up just getting knocked up by a dude they hate. Seen it so many times with my girlfriends.

I hate this saying but I’ve seen it to be so true, although I hate the “alpha” and “beta” titles. Women would rather share an alpha than settle for a beta. In HVM scenarios real men are upfront and say they won’t be leaving their wife, aren’t making grandiose promises, it’s clear wife is permanent in their lives. I’ve even seen this where the marriage is rocky. It prevents a lot of issues, and with HVM there’s plenty of options so losing one woman who wants more than just occasional dates and sex isn’t a big deal. The best way I can say it, is HVM’s are getting close to the attention women get on social media. The messages I get in my DM’s makes me feel dirty af haha. And these are from 8-9’s(I don’t believe in 10’s). HVM’s have a lot of options to excercise. So it’s an exercise in how much you can say “no” to these opportunities.

Try telling an HVM he can’t have networking, social media, can’t do things alone, all to prevent him from getting into “trouble”. HVM’s tend to be rebellious so it’s a losing battle.

To me if I’m with a woman, I’m upfront, tell her I can’t be monogamous, and it’s ok if that’s not for her. How I respect her is I’m upfront about the non-monogamy part but discreet about my actions and the details. And I explain this, again upfront.

Men view sex and are affected way differently than women. It’s not popular to say nowadays but a man can love his wife, and “sport” fuck another woman. It doesn’t mean he can’t care for the other woman but there’s always a wall up.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]FuzzyDice12 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well first off I’m sorry to hear about your rejections and losing men you liked, especially over your illness. I’m sure it can be discouraging.

But I’m getting a vibe from you, I think you really need to try and change your outlook and be a little more positive. You hitting the “wall” may or may not be true, but there are things you can do to increase your value and I think you are on the right track. Just understanding RP ideology puts you ahead of a lot of women. The rest is unfortunately a numbers game, and you have to play enough until you win.

So try thinking “I will find someone it’s a matter of time and working on myself”. Be upfront about your fertility issues and ask if it’s a deal breaker. Yeah some dudes will say whatever you want to hear to get laid but some will walk away. But put yourself out there and be aggressive about not getting discouraged until you get your desired outcome. It may sting but it’s worth it

Not sure of your age but don’t waste your time. One thing I understood from a young age was time is more valuable than anything.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]FuzzyDice12 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course you can message me anytime. If you are 23 trust me you have time. And I myself dealt with hormonal acne until about your age so I totally get how annoying that could be. Again try not to be too negative and don’t let what your parents said fuck with your head. Sometimes we tell ourselves lies and like the saying goes, tell someone a lie enough and they believe it. I would say 30 is where a lot of women start getting hit by age but a lot of it depends on lifestyle, drinking, partying and drugs which catch up with them eventually. You have a lot of time, but at the same time as I said before don’t waste it as it will pass in the blink of an eye.

In my opinion again you are on the right track but it seems you are overthinking the negative.

[–]luckykitty99 -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What you’re saying is incredibly toxic and harmful to you. Whoever told you this is lying. Just keep on taking good care of yourself and you’ll be fine. Men aren’t any better than women and no they certainly don’t age better. I got remarried at age 45 and my husband is very handsome. I take good care of myself and I look great, I always have lots of male attention. Please have more confidence in yourself, that is very attractive. ❤️🥰

[–]DoppelGangHer88 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is bad advice because women are going to age out of random male attraction eventually.

It's not a good thing to focus on. The focus should be on health and maintaining yourself for your husband,.

[–]Sea_Bookkeeper_15331 Star 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't know that there's like a secret way to swallowing it. It is what it is. You can either swallow it and adapt or spend your time moaning about how hard it is. Which wil you choose?

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you mind messaging you anytime if I want to ask questions to you.?

[–]Sea_Bookkeeper_15331 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not at all.

[–]Beginning_Proof_2160 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Believe me you don't want to be a man either, especially in his 20s and for the rest of their life, You have no idea how hard is for men to be average and be looked down because he's a loser, nobody takes you seriously, it also sucks to know that people like you for only what you provide especially after being broke in your childhood and being bullied but then when you get your shit together women start noticing you, deep down you know that they want your money and not you, even your family members will look down on you if you don't provide

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Beginning_Proof_2160 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

hey, once you realize that life isn't fair for men and women you will have a happy life believe me, it's just happens that men realize this earlier in their life for the reasons I mentioned above and move on quickly

[–]deep_faked_beans 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think it's as bleak as you think, or as men portray. My mum found my stepdad at age 38, and they had a child when she was 43 and they've been together for 14 years now. My nan also had a relationship at age 73, it only ended because he passed away. This probably sounds rude, but i'm just telling you because I think it'll help you, my mum also isn't like super-model attractive (and neither am I!) and is a little overweight, but she still found someone really nice that has stayed, there's really no reason to consider ending your life before 30.

And also, I don't think lots of casual sex with strangers is even something to be jealous of, I know men who do this and are miserable anyway, and it isn't true that there are no consequences for men, they can still get HIV/gonorrhea etc. If a man like this was ever interested in me, he'd have to get tested first and show me the results.

[–]ForeverSwinging 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

This. This was/is me.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

How do you deal with it

[–]ForeverSwinging 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Short version: I’m a Christian and I’ve been praying a lot. I also had to come to terms with some bad things that happened to me in my life.

Long version: I’m 29 years old, married, and I still struggle with these feelings.

I struggled with body dismorphia since childhood. I wanted to be a hero, a warrior, and saw more qualities to hate in the females in my life than good qualities. I also saw more qualities to hate in the males in my life as well, but there is more in regards to addressing and fixing bad male qualities than there is for bad female qualities. Therefore, it made sense for me to act as a boy so I could be my best self. I felt like I should have been born a boy, and I identified more as a man with the responsibilities and attitudes impressed on me.

My dad choked me twice in childhood because I’ve had anger problems as does he. I hated him but I hated my mom more because she never acted like it was unacceptable.

I didn’t want to get married seeing my parents’ relationship of bickering back and forth, especially about money. My mom and dad would overshare their perspectives regarding their marriage, which made me realize that no matter what I would be stuck in an unequal relationship with someone who doesn’t understand me and will probably jump to conclusions about what I do and why I do it without even asking me in the first place.

The only reason I dated and got married is because a guy who I was really good friends with back in high school was back in the area. His family was concerned about him not going out of his house, and since I’m good friends with his family, I agreed. I realized I was really attracted to him, and desperately hoped it would pass like the others. It didn’t, and I knew he didn’t want to date. Then when it got to the point where I couldn’t hide it, I asked him out, expecting he’d say no and I’d walk away so I wouldn’t cause issues. He hemmed and hawed but accepted. Nine months later, I go on vacation with my family, come back to a guy who decided he never wants to live without me and proposed. He is amazing emotional support and I’ve told him almost all of the content of this post. The body dismorphia thing is a little tricky. He loves me for who I am and it shows by the things he does for me, big and small, which helps the reluctant acceptance of my femininity.

I’ve been able to manage my thoughts over the years first with prayer. Knowing I’m not a mistake no matter what I think or feel is comforting. Physical exercise through fencing, martial arts, and the gym distract me from my nasty interior monologue. I listen to people like Jordan Peterson almost regularly. I thought about transitioning in college but given my mood swings thought it too risky to attempt. I also write. Giving all my characters voices and working through some thoughts I have helps me critically think through my thoughts. Never forget you’re your own worst enemy.

That’s all I have for now. I hope this helps. If you want to, message me and you got a support buddy.

[–]ForeverSwinging 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It posted now!

[–]LateralThinker134 Stars 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Life is truly bad after 30 unless you are married with good man.

Yes, for women post-Wall it's hard. However, you seem to have rose-colored glasses on when it comes to men.

I am jealous of man who can enjoy sex life without any consequences.

Seriously? If a baby results - which they have ZERO control over, other than via abstinence or questionably reversable vasectomy currently (the only two totally reliable methods) he's on the hook for 18 years child support, no escape, no bankruptcy, nothing.

Its great that they will be valued for something they worked hard.

If you work hard to look good, you will be valued for it. Looking good isn't easy.

It is opposite for women.They don't get period,pregnant, stretch marks are less common for them.

And men aren't valued for anything except either a) top 10% looks/physique, or b) an Amex Black card. Realistically incel is a male-only term... and their ranks are growing rapidly because social media is a cancer of the mind.

Even if someone says woman are also valued in something ,it doesn't make me feel good.

That, right there, is YOUR mental issue. Get therapy.

Phsical Attractiveness of men lasts longer than physical Attractiveness of woman.

Even if men make mistakes and lose good woman,still he can get his shit together be hvm and can get younger good wife but that good wife will hit wall later especially if she had kids.

Yes, but he has to work at it for decades. A hot young 18-year-old has to do little to nothing for it. It's different value systems for different genders. You're looking at women's disadvantages and comparing them to men's advantages, which is INCREDIBLY dishonest.

Seriously, get therapy.

Also, go read some accounts of women who transitioned to male, or Norah Jones' book Self-Made Man, where she went undercover as a man for a year. Spoiler: she has a nervous breakdown and it's not nearly as rosy as you think it is.

I know this is unhealthy for me but I am getting hard time over this and it is affecting me.If you guys felt same way how do you dealt with it?How did you swallowed hard truth and moved forward?

You're the worst case of seeing only your own negatives and the other side's positives I've ever encountered. It's breathtaking.

Maybe ask some guys how they feel about womens' privileges? Or go read on TRP, if you dare...

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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