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How to make a man fall for you.

February 13, 2019

When I was still dating I had plenty of guys who were absolutely crazy about me because of a few things I did/do. Friends who are very much in their feminine energy also are very popular, even if they haven't met the right one yet. It really doesn't matter how beautiful or hot you are, if you manage to do these things guys will absolutely love you and not only want to bang you.

  1. Be vulnerable

Sounds like weird advice but a man needs to connect to your heart. I had some horrible things happen to me in my teenage years but I noticed that when I disclosed this to a man he felt much more connected and protective of me. I had more than once a man confess his love to me the same night I told him this.

You don't have to have a horrible trauma to make this work. Be open with your emotions, if you are sad don't hide it! When a man asks you how you are tell him how you feel.

Imagine you get a 'how was your day?' text from a man you are dating for a short while, respond with something that made you feel something that day. It's best to keep it positive if you aren't in a commited relationship

Ex. 'I went to the beach with my dog today, I always feel so free when I walk by the shore!' or 'I was a little under the weather, so I spend some time under a blanket today, it felt so cosy and warm.' Make him feel what you feel.

  1. Be receiving

I'm not necessarily talking about gifts. I'm talking about any form of receiving. The most important one being energy. Masculine energy is forward moving, giving, thinking, taking care of business, feminine energy is being and receiving.

A good way to start is to physically move back in your chair, lean back and let your date lead the conversation. Don't think about what amazingly funny thing you want to tell him after he is done speaking, listen to what he is saying for a change.

  1. Don't try to make things happen

That's the man's job. When he sends you a text that's fine, if he doesn't that's also fine. Be in a headspace of seeing what will happen (this doesn't mean not having boundaries btw) but don't be desperate to have a relationship after one date.

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Post Information
Title How to make a man fall for you.
Author ObedientLittleWife
Upvotes 129
Comments 56
Date February 13, 2019 8:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]BeholdTheHair45 points46 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

It is absolutely mystifying to me how so many women fail to grasp the power of that first item. Most seem to be afraid being vulnerable (especially emotionally) will scare a guy away - which I suppose it might if he's just looking for an easy lay, but if that's the case he ain't Captain material in the first place, at least for you.

Of the women I've dated, it's the ones who dropped their damn guard and let me know what was going on with them that I still think about and hope they're doing well, even years after the fact.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, it's cool to be cold these days.

[–]WhistlingDead6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was more afraid that being vulnerable would encourage a guy to abuse my weakness.

[–]BeholdTheHair4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair point. 'Course, being vulnerable doesn't mean being a doormat. You can allow yourself to be vulnerable without allowing others to walk all over you - in fact I'd say that's a sort of strength of character all its own, and a damned important (and attractive) one.

[–]sonder_one1 Star3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's what vetting is for.

[–]Esk1mOz4mb1k8 points9 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Could it be linked to the fact that women generally don't enjoy seeing their man vulnerable / weak emotionnaly and therefore think men feel the same?

And yeah I'm a dude and I 100% agree with vulnerability boosting my investment in a relationship.

[–]BeholdTheHair7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Undoubtedly. Same reason so many young women so doggedly pursue academic achievement and, thereby, financial prosperity these days: those things are generally correlative with high social status, and they want a high social status man, so they unconsciously project what they value in a man into what they think men value in women without ever realizing that's not the case.

[–]collectijism2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is definetly it! Big problem with both sexes they have a very difficult time seeing things from the others prospective. I bet OP grew up with at least one brother and or a dad. I think alot of people are single children with no dad so its hard to see a model of what to strive for.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My parents have a blue pill relationship and I don't have any brothers. They are quite happy tho. I'm just very into self improvement and I have some idea what men want ;)

[–]Lev-- 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

God am I just the odd one out in the thead.

I seriously prefer stronger women. I like security. I want to know a girl had the gonads to tell another guy to fuck off when I'm not around.

Girls who act vulnerable and insecure take attention literally wherever they can get it, and getting emotionally invested into a girl whose mind is only on you a slim percentage of the time is how you waste time.

It's just the times. If it was like the 60s where boys can't hit your vulnerable girlfriends phone up every 5 seconds, absolutely.

[–]ObedientLittleWife 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think you are on the wrong forum...

[–]Lev-- 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link


[–]Esk1mOz4mb1k 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because women (here) don't want a man child.

[–]LuckyLittleStarModerator | Lil'Star[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The comments have been removed. In the future though remember the side bar and use the report button for the mods to deal with him.

Femininity and kindness are strongly encouraged.

[–]Esk1mOz4mb1k0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's some extreme exageration. No one wants a hollow shell. All I'm saying is (moderate) (genuine) vulnerabity is attractive to men.

If you need a good woman to make you feel secure at any time then you have better bring a lot of quality to the table.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Some of this is the same advice given to guys by dating coaches

[–]Buchloe15 points16 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

It's crazy. All these things are things I love in a woman, but every time I took the same advice, especially "be vulnerable" it was relationship suicide.

Maybe because we aren't the same. We compliment each other, and opposites attract. Who would have thought.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 5 points6 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I think being vulnerable is something that both parties in a relationship can benefit from. BUT men probably shouldn't be vulnerable until it's a pretty serious relationship.

[–]lace-love4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree with you here. The timing is very important when a man should be vulnerable. If he shares his greatest fears and darkest secrets on date no 2, I will be straight off creeped out. But if he starts opening up after a month or so of dating, damn this when I am falling head over heels!

[–]sonder_one1 Star4 points5 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Men should be vulnerable with other men.

Women want their men to be strong enough to handle their problems, and that means seeing them in much the same way that kids see their parents. Invincible!

It's a lie, but it's a lie that we need.

It's easier to appreciate through other analogies: Military commanders and church pastors do not show their concerns to the people under them. They go to their peers, outside their chains of command / congregations. It is understood that those under them need to see them be confident or the system breaks down.

[–]durtykneesEndorsed Contributor2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

In the example you linked below ( ), the way that she described how he broke down sounds a lot like a child seeking comfort from a mother:

hes confessing to being raped by another man while completely being in tears and holding me.

Men should be vulnerable with other men.

They go to their peers

Correct me if I'm wrong: masculine men who are best friends or peers, don't cling to each other while weeping their hearts out in an emotionally-charge confession of experienced trauma.

You only do that with a parent or someone who has a similar role as your parent. Hell, I don't even do that with my parents.. lol

Most women aren't attracted to men who want them to play mommy-comforter. Many men, especially those under 25, seem to have the mistaken idea that women who love them, would love them like how their mothers love them.

Women want their men to be strong enough to handle their problems, and that means seeing them in much the same way that kids see their parents. Invincible!

Any man who actually vets wisely, would avoid women who want their man to play daddy-caretaker.

Girls looking for daddies have no long-term value, because no man who respects himself would hold in his metaphorical shit forever, in the privacy of his own home/domain. Constipation isn't healthy.

Having to always "hold frame" makes a man a slave to that self-imposed frame. TRP tells every guy to avoid marriage, because mixing "frame" and "marriage" turns a man into a slave, one way or other.

If you want a healthy adult relationship, especially for the long term, don't date people looking for secondary parents.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I totally agree with this! This is basically what I meant but I couldn't find the words.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I know my man is not invincible... He is a strong man but he isn't super man. I don't think this type of relationship is healthy in the long haul and if your woman would run away when you would show some form of vulnerability, you picked the wrong woman.

[–]sonder_one1 Star1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's the blue pill message for men. Here's a recent example of what blue pill men get for their naivete:

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm also not here to talk about red pill for men. This is my preference, I don't care that some women are like that. Pick a good woman, problem solved.

[–]sonder_one1 Star0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Would your man be less interested in you if you gained 100 pounds and got face tattoos and piercings?

We're talking about attraction, not rational analysis. It's subconscious, and it can't be negotiated.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's a rediculous comparison. A better comparison would be when I'm on my period eating chocolate in a stained sweatshirt. You won't find your partner a 1000% attractive all the time, a relationship is a lot more than just attraction, life happens. If you can't be there for eachother you might as well not be in a relationship. If he is a whiny negative nagger on the first date it's different than when he is crying because he lost a friend after two years of marriage.

[–]sonder_one1 Star1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A relationship is more than just attraction, yes. But attraction is a requisite.

You are wrong to say that a man in a moment of weakness is only temporarily unattractive. A woman with less of an ideological investment in this conversation presents a fine example:

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't really care. I'm not here to talk about female psychology. Good luck with your marriage.

[–]freyalifestyle 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I do agree with you that it is best for both parties. Where do you draw the line? When can the woman nurture him emotionally?

In a marriage, does this differ? If he looks to the woman for advice should she say ask your male confidants?

[–]sonder_one1 Star0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

If he looks to her for advice, she should do her best to give it, of course. He's made the decision to ask her; it's already done.

If he wants to continue to maximize her attraction and comfort in the relationship, he will maintain strong male friendships and use them when appropriate. She cannot make him do this; it's on him.

[–]loveopenly3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Its a catch 22 situation. Vulnerability attracts people who appreciate it and repels those that don't and it's hard to be vulnerable if it's not well recieved. However without vulnerability in a relationship the relationship won't ultimately last it's better to practice it until the right person shows up to receive it.

[–]sarahharttt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. It’s also the level of respect you have for the man when he is vulnerable. Are you just starting to date & you don’t know if you like him & he starts crying & makes you feel like you have to handle all his emotions & make him feel better when all you wanted was lunch. Or do you really like him & wish he would open up to you & he reveals something about himself in a unneedy way & you feel lucky you’re the one who he told this too.

[–]sonder_one1 Star7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Modern society teaches both men and women to view the genders as much more similar than they are. Part of this is simple solipsism - people project their ways of thinking on everyone else.

Men and women are meant to complement each other. As a rule of thumb, a woman should NOT be trying to behave in ways that she would find attractive in a man, because it means that she's acting like a man.

The men you want aren't gay.

[–]teufelinderflasche18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Problem with being vulnerable is that it makes you a target for sociopaths and borderlines. I had the horrible experience of having the most painful event of my life revealed in detail to my entire social circle when I broke up with a girl I was vulnerable with. However, I did the same with the girl I eventually married and it gave us a strong relationship right from the start. It does have great benefits but also great risks.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Totally agree, how much you want to share with some is also a good question to ask. Building up walls is, in my opinion, a worse idea.

[–]loveopenly4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How to make a man fall for you? Don't try to make things happen.

Enjoying the cyclical logical right there.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be happy when things happen but don't be desperate for them to happen. It's hard to keep a cool head but when you manage to do this you are FAR ahead of other girls.

[–]hcinimwh3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm #1.

[–]Sunrisemaybe4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My man loves it when I'm vulnerable. He likes to offer help and be there for me.

When I try to act tough, he thinks I dont trust him enough to share.

I agree on no.2 either. Be receiving. I always say no when he offers something and it makes him do it less and less. I always say no.. goddamn it.. I should fix this before its too late.

[–]lace-love2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

But I wonder how much of this will actually works if the girl is not his ‘type’? Cause I did all that you said in my previous relationship and it did nothing in terms of making him fall in love with me.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Type doesn't excist. Being able to make a man feel things for you makes him forget you don't have a perfect face or a perfect body. Men think feeling something is falling in love. I don't know the specifics of your relationship but you probably failed to make him feel something. Also, if you don't do this within the first few times you meet him it's basically a lost cause.

[–]lace-love1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

See, I agree with everything that you wrote in here. But there is a caveat to this.

I will still stick to my words that ‘type’ does exist. It certainly exists for me, and I would like to believe that it exists for majority of the men and women out there. I am not falling for a guy who isn’t educated, is working as a freelance artist but who makes me feel like a goddess, queen and I can see his vulnerability.

That being said, men make their decisions fairly quickly. They know within 5 minutes of meeting if this is the woman they can fall in love or not. If you are in the ‘not’ category, then God save you! Nothing that you do will make him fall in love with you. Trust me I did all the things that you said above, and it didn’t work.

This is my analysis and my thinking. I would definitely like to know what the men in the TRP and the RPW have to say on this.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you aren't 'it' for him you probably tried to make something happen, texted him or asked for dates etc. If a man doesn't see you as 'it' he will probably lose interest quickly but if you are a 'sure thing' he might give you a chance.

If you can make a man feel he doesn't care what you look like... Men are pretty emotional beings when it comes to love.

[–]lace-love1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Now you are contradicting what you have written. You started by saying that for men type doesn’t exist, yet now you are saying that you could be a ‘sure thing’ or ‘Not’ for him.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, but that is not physical. Types still don't excist, for men at least, idk about women.

[–]sonder_one1 Star0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Imagine a generic man complaining that the supermodel of his dreams didn't abandon all of her other options and marry him even though he did everything right!

Do you think she's wrong? Or is he wrong?

No one ever said that you can make anyone you want fall in love with you by doing it right. Other people are PEOPLE, not dolls that exist for your amusement. You are not entitled to any particular reward for your efforts.

However, if you offer as much as you are able to, odds are very strong that many men will find your offer superior to competing offers, and at least one of them will be one that you like. That's what you're going for.

[–]lace-love1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Imagine a generic man complaining that the supermodel of his dreams didn't abandon all of her other options and marry him even though he did everything right!

Why was she with him in first place when she had so many options? She might as well had gone to someone better rather than giving hope to the generic Joe!


When the person is dating us and we are doing so many things to make them happy but none of it works, damn thats frustrating and not where I want to be.

[–]edwardcaptain222 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. you are suggesting not to put in any effort in yourself and the relationship, be passive, avoid resposibilities, and wait for men to do everything for you. That's really lazy. This type of attitude often leads to failure. Your man may want to fuck you because you are passive therefore "easy". But he will never fall for you

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm married :)

You know how hard it is to avoid texting? Very hard. Passivaty is not as important as vulnerability tho. Being vulnerable is key.

This advice is also more for girls who are still in the dating scene than women in relationships. I might also make a post about that.

[–]carrotriver4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It. Is. So. Hard. To. Avoid. Texting. And it takes so much bravery to risk vulnerability

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excactly! Very very few women are brave enough to take a step back.

[–]peacocktoast0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be "receptive," maybe?

[–]Lev-- 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

3 is why I'm still single

I'm not going to make any move on a female whose clearly considering multiple guys

And that's every female I know in 2019 who has a profile on anything. They're receiving ample attention and contact from boys,

And they get to pick through those boys like assorted chocolates (happy Valentine's)

One isn't working out they hop to the next one

I just don't like it. Doesn't feel right to me personally.

I was definately born at the wrong time/place for the way I want to fall in love.

[–]ObedientLittleWife[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Be better than the other boys, problem solved.

[–]everythangspeachie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You said dont try to make things happen but your post says how to make a man fall for you?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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