I am soon going to be intimate with my bf

CountTheBees · 2021-06-19T23:34:49+00:00

What ways has he shown you he is committed? You didn't mention those.

Roxitten · 2021-06-19T23:21:12+00:00

4 months isn't really that patient. I don't want to naysay your choice. And I hope the experience is good for you.

You have no experience and he should be understanding of that. Everyone's going to be different for what they like sexually. Don't put pressure on yourself to be perfect your first time.

I think it's more important to look at what a man does. And how he acts rather than what he says. Anyone can say they're committed.

lookingforanswersugh · 2021-06-21T00:35:36+00:00

If you plan to have sex with him, please take my advice and ensure he is tested for all STI’s and SPECIFICALLY ASK FOR [HSV 1 & 2 Igg] (Herpes) testing as they do not usually include this on an STI panel. I regret very much not having done this with all of my partners before sex.

I was a late bloomer and didn’t lose my virginity until closer to your age, it wasn’t worth it. It changes you, you see things differently, you view men differently. After the act, I wish I had waited until I was more sure.

4 months is not much time to get to know a person. My advice, give it more time. I’ve found men have a hard time maintaining a “representative” personality for more than a year. Their true colors start to show by that point. Don’t ignore ANY red flags, pick up on the little things, don’t brush them off because you like him so much. I’ve made that mistake as well.

I hope he is a one of the good guys and has good intentions. I hope things work out for you. Feel free to message me if you need.

HappilyMrs · 2021-06-19T23:08:29+00:00

Are you absolutely certain about him and his commitment level? Four months isn't very long, especially if he has multiple previous sexual relationships.

You will be exploring together, as long as you understand the mechanics and what it might be like in terms of discomfort, the rest will come with time.

aemilli · 2021-06-20T06:42:53+00:00

I think the fact that you are a virgin and that it's your first time would be more 'exciting' for a guy than you having any experience. So I don't think you have anything to worry about. Also, everything in the bedroom can be learned together. Let him teach you.

However, I do want to echo what the other ladies are saying... 4 months really isn’t that long to show serious commitment. Maybe he has shown commitment, but I would think carefully about how he has proven that to you. Have you vetted him? Is he someone that fits with your longer-term values and goals? You say that he has been 'keen to be intimate' for some time... How early into the relationship was this? It seems a bit pressuring.

The reality is that guys like girls with a low n-count, and someone with an n-count of 0 is pretty rare and highly desirable. I wouldn't want you to use it on a guy that isn't worthy, especially if it's your first time.

throwaway8768901 · 2021-06-20T12:37:08+00:00

Do not be intimate with him because “sex is important to men”. Be intimate with him because sex is important to you. Otherwise, wait. If he doesn’t stick around or begins making threats of leaving and/or cheating, those are signs that he is not a healthy individual. I’m I be fully honest with you, if he were really committed, he would’ve purchased at the very least a promise ring. To each their own, but thread lightly.

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-06-19T23:42:16+00:00

If you have sex (intercourse or oral) have him get tested/ don’t do anything without a condom, especially because he has been intimate with other women and you don’t want to risk disease (he does not have to exhibit any symptoms to be a carrier). Also, be aware that the effectiveness on the pill is diminished if you don’t take it perfectly (ex: if you haven’t been on it long enough, don’t take it at about the same time every day) or if you vomit.

morganKxoxo · 2021-06-19T23:53:09+00:00

People have given good advice, but I wanted to focus on the birth control: you need to be on it for 1 full month BEFORE it is effective. You also have to take it perfectly. Meaning at the same time every single day. Missing 1 is enough to make the entire pack ineffective. You also should be using condoms in tandem especially if he hasn’t been tested

MirriMazDuur · 2021-06-20T05:43:46+00:00

You shouldn't bend yourself backwards to sexually satisfy a boyfriend in your context. The pill has side effects and I wouldn't recommend women taking them unless prescribed by a doctor. Condoms are a device that has NO side effects. Besides, if the condom breaks, you can rush to get a plan B pill; if the contraceptive pill fails, you will find out about it too late.

"He has been keen to be intimate together for some time" it's been 4 months and he's already been keen for "some time"?? If you weren't a virgin, that would be normal, but you are. Be careful to not be conned

JulesB954 · 2021-06-22T14:11:17+00:00

Normally I'm not this direct, but don't do it. Even though you are okay with sex before marriage, reading between the lines of your post I can tell that you are already comparing yourself to his past experiences and that you feel he has been patient "long enough". You should NOT be intimate under these circumstances; I already can tell you that your going to regret this! At the end of the day, there is no commitment unless the marriage certificate is signed. In this case, he can walk the morning after! Trust me, it has happened to many unsuspecting women. If you want to be intimate before marriage, you have to go into it with the full acceptance that there is no "commitment" and be okay with that. If your not, don't do it!

Title	I am soon going to be intimate with my bf
Author	Amberc982
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	June 19, 2021 11:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/o3s22p/i_am_soon_going_to_be_intimate_with_my_bf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-am-soon-going-to-be-intimate-with-my-bf.785377 https://theredarchive.com/post/785377