It seems that every woman my age is not just encouraged to have a career, but that we owe it to society to have one. I have always been a hyperproductive and hypercreative person, yet it seems that it is never enough. Suddenly, the dream job I landed in college is something seen as lowly for my age (27); the fact that I earn a decent living is not enough and I should earn more; being employed is silly and I should seek out to be a highly independent and driven freelancer and so on.
In the meantime, I have been living with my boyfriend for two years (I know most of you are against it, yet my context is a little different from most of you and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way) in a one bedroom apartment which I can never clean well enough for my standards. I do not have the time and mental energy to maybe pickle some cucumbers or make some home-made ketchup like my grandmother did; we often get take-away because we cannot both focus on shopping and cooking yet again. I have sacrificed my time, effort and mental space to my job and my hobbies to live a life in which I do not eat healthy or have a properly organized and sanitized home, and I felt that I was a failure.
Everybody around me seems to be able to do it all, to have an impeccable home, free time and have outstanding careers and I thought there was something wrong with me, that I am just not as capable as other women are. I blamed myself for not being up to standards, until I found out that I share the same thoughts with my best friend and until I found you ladies ... And so I got the courage to step down, the courage to tell my man that I wish to work less and earn less for our common good without feeling that I am a lazy gold-digger. I have the courage to admit that I do want my man to earn more and pay for more while I do "limit" myself to ironing bedsheets and shopping for organic tomatoes.
I will be switching to part-time work on thursady, free of the guilt of not being a modern/strong/independent/whatever woman. Thank you ladies!