I have been rereading The Empowered Wife. You know how an issue keeps popping up and it’s like “hey look at me! Take care of me now!”? Maybe it’s just me. So my husband comes home from his mom’s house and is so frustrated and he’s sharing his feelings and of course instead of just listening I have to jump in and take over and make it about me. So we argue and he says “you know, all I hear is “shut up, don’t bring up anything. Ignore your emotions”. I was taken aback and somewhere deep down I felt remorse, but my anger was still at the surface so I didn’t say anything - just kept my mouth shut.
Fast forward, I’m taking a bath and rereading The Empowered Wife and what do you know? She’s saying the exact same thing my husband said. I’ve read it before, but man did it piss me off to read it again. She says I don’t have to agree or disagree I just need to say, “I hear you”. Ugh. I wanted to yell at someone “it’s not fair!”. Anyway. I put on a smile and said, “I’m sorry for interrupting you earlier and making it all about me. It was disrespectful.” He didn’t say much. But then he came to bed and shared all of these things with me he doesn’t normally share and I kept my mouth shut and said “I hear you”. Or I did ask questions if I needed clarification (like “who is that again? Or where is your brother working now?” Type things.
Keeping my mouth shut may be one of the hardest things ever for me... but I did it and it paid off (we had a nice talk and went to bed not angry with each other). I also texted him today and said I enjoyed spending time together with him. It’s annoying, but it works LOL.