Hi so... I'm not really sure where to start here as my mind is all over the place
Sure to (certain) men, I probably have looks that might interest them for the time being, but that's about it.
It's occurred to me in the last several months, during which I've been focusing on self reflection, that I have nothing to offer in a romantic relationship.
I've come to understand that what men want is a woman who is empathic and emotionally mature, someone who "loves him for who he is" and not what he can do for her. Someone who is willing to understand him and appreciate him beyond what he has to offer externally. Someone who isn't going to be resentful when he doesn't completely act the way she expects him to, and doesn't try to manipulate. She can also find happiness on her own, and doesn't expect him to validate her emotionally in every way.
And that's not me at all, nor am I sure that can ever be me.
I don't want to get into details, but I have a lot of emotional baggage, namely from feeling like my parents never truly loved or accepted me in an unconditional manner, and this gave some serious self esteem issues. Hell I was reading about "attachment theory" and I think I fall into anxious-preoccupied pretty well.
I think I was looking for a partner to provide me what (I felt) that my parents never gave me, and unfortunately that's just not a good reason to get into a relationship. I am more focused on what a partner can do for me and less what I can do for the partner, and whether I can love them in a similar fashion.
I'm at a cross roads where I have this information, but not sure where to go from here. Sure I can work on my problems, but I have no clue how long that'll take or if I'll ever recover. Hell, I think it's possible I have no clue what "love" truly means outside of liking someone who fits certain criteria you've established.
I don't think it's fair, especially at this point, for any man to be with me.
I'm wondering if there are any women on here who are similar to me? Did you decide to continue to pursue romantic relationships while working on emotional issues? Or did you forgo relationships entirely?