~ archived since 2018 ~

I really hate gynocentrism!

September 19, 2018

I just have to get something off my chest. I hate our gynocentric society.

My husband is a great man. Full of self control, discipline and difficult to be influenced. He is a pilot by training, which means he does not solely operate on emotions, only logical reasoning. After we got married and had children, his drive to work harder increased. He’s given up a lot of hobbies but definitely not all and I wouldn’t want him to anyways.

For some reason, my support for him to pursue some of his hobbies/passion/career gets nothing but criticism (especially these last few days). Female acquaintances and even family members think he should have no hobbies and no free time because that’s just UNFAIR for me. I mean, the comments are NASTY! Mind you... that man pays for 90% of everything so I don’t have to work hard. Then they wonder why they’re in unhappy marriages and I’m the one getting XOXO from my husband.

Before finding RPW, I thought I was some odd ball for “allowing” my husband to have a life besides wife and babies. Now, I realize I’m actually a healthy minded wife.

Ok, done venting.

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Post Information
Title I really hate gynocentrism!
Author black-and-white-keys
Upvotes 155
Comments 25
Date September 19, 2018 2:29 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
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[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

It's been like this forever, I'm married almost 16 years now. With one breath women recognize that mine and my kids lives are possible due to his work, and with the other are shocked I push him out the door to do stuff with friends. The way they see it, he travels internationally for work, which is obviously (/s) a work funded vacation. Why would he need to go do stuff unrelated to work with people not from work? These are the same people who can't live without book clubs and "girls night" on the regular.

[–]aftertheafter-party3 Star37 points38 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

who can't live without book clubs and "girls night" on the regular.

So many of my friends think they're going me a "favor" inviting me for a weekend without my husband... Like, sometimes the juice is worth the squeeze, but mostly... Why??? I don't want to fxck any my friends, & none of my friends are as loyal/kind a friend as my husband, so it is a sacrifice for me to give up time with him!

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I feel the same way. I'd rather do nothing with my husband than go out. Plus most of my friends are much more tame than my husband, I watch those "wild and crazy gurl weekend!1!" movies and lol because 100% of the time whatever I end up doing with him is more crazy than with gf's. It always ends better too, even if we go to a questionable venue for a fun thing it's always great and ends well.

The time I adopted a "just say no" policy was when I went with a friend to a Peaches concert in Dallas. Very NSFW if you look her up, but amazing in concert. We were drinking on the patio talking to a museum curator who had a transsexual woman (who looked better than 90% of women, it was truly awe inspiring) in a ball gag on a leash and my friend was talking about how much she loves the school district her kids are in. I'm sitting there like I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS OMG WHY ISN'T MY HUSBAND HERE TO WITNESS THIS!!!!! That was an opportunity wasted, I would've loved to see how that played out with him instead. Then a gross sloppy couple came over and the woman threw herself on me, I thought she was just drunk but her hug turned into this downward slide/grope and she bit me on the hip while her bf laughed. She did it through clothes and it still left a bruise the next morning. I've been to way snobbier high class places with questionable people and seedier hole in the wall joints with my husband and never has anything like that happened, so it's a hard pass with friends now. if I go out with them it's over a shared interest.

To this day I've never been on a "girls trip." People say I'm missing out, but I don't think so. I've seen what happens at birthdays and bachelorette parties, I'm good. If I need girl time in that quantity I do it with my daughter! Edit: or my mom. Any family counts, they're all great.

[–]freyasnecklace 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I made the mistake of a girls trip before lol It was insufferable and pathetic. I have a few friends that I can have a good time with, but this “girls trip” seemed to mostly be : let’s drink and see if men will look at us. Even the more adventurous outings seemed to be thirsty for “ look at me! I’m so fun and pretty and men still like me!”

I just have a better time doing ANYTHING with my husband.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

YES omg I've seen/heard the exact same thing out with friends. It's always when they're pissed at their husbands. I honestly feel spectrum level conversationally challenged in that situation. I know their husbands, I'm not going to talk shit on their marriage because 1) boring and 2) the potential for that backfiring when they fix things is too high. Nothing makes me derp harder. Smile and nod and tell the nice potential drink buyers no thanks.

This situation with wives of husband's co-workers is hard mode. Their company has a lot of alcohol soaked corporate events, so there are stories of legend that originate with pissed wives. I've learned to stick with the women employees for the most part because I'm not trying to be in the drama.

Edit: practical advice that's worked for me in this situation is to start the evening with wives, gravitate to lady bosses as the evening goes on. If you're not drinking don't advertise it because there's always a belligerent person that will make it their mission to force you. Just throw a lemon or lime in your drink and grab a cocktail straw to fake it.

[–]BewareTheOldMan30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haters gonna hate. Keep your husband, yourself, and your family happy.

Simply brush that dirt off your shoulder....

[–]aftertheafter-party3 Star20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I felt so sad seeing a thread in another group that I enjoy... asking all the women to share why they hxte men & how men are very bad. This sounds like propaganda, & I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it sprout up before my eyes... The complaints are semi-legitimate (men not bathing [?!?], being disrespectful, etc.) but they ignore the HUGE number of very good men that are out there doing their very best to support their partners & their families.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You have a link to that thread?

[–]aftertheafter-party3 Star1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not on reddit (& not public)

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link




[–]CalvinRichland17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Social poisoning

[–]Wolfssenger15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Society has more often than not been gynocentric simply because women are the limiting(and thereby far more valuable) reagent in continuing the species. It has become intolerably so with the unnecessary "empowerment"(I air quote this as women have always held the power of sexual selection over men, which pervades all aspects of life) and diminishment of men.

That being said, I'm right there with you in terms of sentiment towards it. I've long had my fill of dealing with(god forbid attempting to court) women who think you should kiss the ground they walk on because they happen to sport a second X chromosome.

[–]loneliness-inc9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then they wonder why they’re in unhappy marriages and I’m the one getting XOXO from my husband.

Never forget this part, it's of extreme importance.

[–]newbrict7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What are the differences in environment to create these two different mindsets

[–]iamdaddy2543 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Totally opposite from my situation. My wife is the total opposite of you...literally! Keep doing what you do and f**k the haters, especially the family and friend types. You are obviously making your husband happy which in turn keeps you happy!

[–]aussiedollface25 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I so agree OP! I encourage my hubby to play golf and other pursuits, because he works so hard and I think his relax and unwind time is important. I always try to schedule my own things to do when I know he’s busy, so we can spend as much time together as possible when he’s free. I had to explain to an incredulous friend recently that I work off his schedule because otherwise we just would never see each other, and also that I can’t do “girls only” things all the time because when hubby isn’t at work I like to prioritise him and have quality time. She definitely judged me. Our weekends are for our quality time, so if anyone invites me anywhere then hubby is coming too!

Also my brother unfortunately married a lady who literally won’t let him do anything, and it’s almost a competition! Like he does something and straight away she’s like “well you had a boys night so I need a girls night!!!!!!”. This seems to be such a common attitude!

Also, I only work one day a week and my husband is our breadwinner and provides a lovely lifestyle for us. We have just started talking about trying to conceive and people are resoundingly like “he won’t be able to work those hours when you have a baby!” and “he needs to take paternity leave!” etc etc. I’m like, actually his work will require him to continue as is, and we will just have to learn how to manage. We are still equal in our marriage, we just contribute to it differently.


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hated those types of comment. My husband went back to work the next day. I stayed with my mom and I was taken care of. Husband came and visited me and hung out but his business is demanding. Sorry about your brother.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most people only know what they have been taught . Most people develop an emotional attachment to their beliefs and they attach the sense of being right about something to their own ego. There isn't really anything you can do to influence others whose minds are not open.

I would be careful about sharing the details of your personal life with other women in a place where their morals and lifestyles are fundamentally different to yours. Quite often if they don't like something about you and the way that you live they could go out of their way to cause trouble and create drama and conflict. Much of the time they refuse to acknowledge that this is what they are doing.

Either you are going to have to change the community you live in, or learn to blend in by not oversharing and not being too obvious about the fact that you and your family are different.

[–]SKRedPill4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah the usual relationship sabotage thing. Do you have any idea how widespread jealousy and bitterness is? The shocker is when you realize that sometimes the people closest to you are the worst.

[–]missguidedme3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell those women to read this blog I really enjoy, she classifies women into “Woman Zero”, “Woman Minus” and a “Woman Plus”. From your words it would seem to me that you’re a woman + . Her advices have helped me a lot in my relationship.

[–]masterofthebarkarts1 Star3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My fiancé regularly "thanks" me for "letting" him pursue his nerdy weird hobbies.

No, love, you are an adult man and no one "lets" you do these things. And you don't need my permission.

But he's been trained to think that you're lucky if you have a partner like that!

[–]jackal0p3m3nt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It makes me very sad that it's a "necessity" for me, the stay-at-home spouse, to have time to myself outside the house, but when my husband the breadwinner wants to go out, everyone thinks he's selfish. Even my husband's own mother has told him off for having the audacity to go out with his friends for a few hours while I'm home alone with the baby. Like... is that not what I do everyday anyway? And doesn't he deserve time to decompress from his very stressful job?

[–]liquidswan 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

I play hockey, and it is one of my sole personal hobbies outside of work and family. I find my wife somewhat supportive, but once in a while she gets mad about it. I usually play once per week (sometimes twice), and if it inconveniences her in any way it seems to get a negative reaction. I never complain when she goes out with her friends (usually once every two weeks). What would you recommend to me to communicate to her in order to convince her that me getting a little bit of exercise and personal time is a really positive thing? I really appreciate everything I’ve read in this thread so far, thanks a bunch everyone!

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Men's questions belong on askTRP.

[–]liquidswan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


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