If you're a housewife, you can use your spare time for self-education. Don't let your intellect rot.

Theflowerswillbloom · 2019-04-25T22:45:46+00:00

I have a lot less time on my hands now as a SAHM than I did as a student. My husband also likes to take care of things like that.

Saying that, I do agree that it's important to be a lifelong learner.

redpillredeemed · 2019-04-25T22:38:06+00:00

trading isnt for everyone but there are certainly more meaningful pursuits than tending to cats and drinking wine

bubblegina359 · 2019-04-26T02:20:05+00:00

Mental health and growth is important. I think a lot of housewives stop learning and being curious cause they spend much time with people who basically dont care no more about that aspect of her: her kids dont care about her geo political views, her husband focuses on work and makes sure they are well provided for, her friends would probably prefer talking about kids and husbands ... i mean, it is very important to stay smart, lets stay, but the thing is.there may be noone to talk to about those things anymore... that is the harsh reality of being a housewife. You get lonely.

Zegiknie · 2019-04-26T14:43:13+00:00

I am SAHM. I do have some time to learn, and being a nerd, I learn about a variety of topics and not just home-related stuff. However, there are good, valid reasons to just be a SAHM and not try to be 'more'.

To be motherly, a stock trading mindset won't do. My husband is in a relatively chill job (IT), but it still is a big switch between work mode and family mode. The tone of voice he uses on colleagues would make the kids cry!

Also, we don't have "so much time" on our hands. I can learn while nursing, otherwise it's mostly go go go all day. When kids are young, SAHM is more than a full-time job. Of course you can make it easier (not homeschooling, quick easy meals, hiring help, lower cleanliness standards, etc.). But just getting dressed and going grocery shopping can realistically be too much for someone with a newborn or toddler. Yes, seriously. You are mistaken if you think the dreadful looking mombie just doesn't care. More likely, she has a sick child vomit in her bed, with a nose too stuffed for nursing, and the toddler threw a screaming fit after breaking his glass of milk and she has had to clean it all up before she even had her breakfast. This is something that every mom will experience regularly. Not once. Regularly.

Pregnancy can be a breeze or 9 months of hell. The postpartum period can be relatively okay or absolute hell. Recovery from delivery can be okay or absolutel hell. Babies can be chill or - you guessed it, absolute hell.

Then there is the dreaded 'babybrain'. It is real. You get forgetful and simply less able to focus, so in effect dumber. Your brain changes physically. It can be mediated a little with the proper nutrients (choline, omega 3 oils, etc), but not avoided.

Sleep deprivation makes everyone function like a hangover person.

And you have kids to keep alive. It's not that easy. They try to kill themselves and each other constantly. Toddlers especially will run right into whatever is most lethal (or eat it).

It makes perfect sense to me that unless you are a nerd who learns for the pleasure of it, you just focus on being a SAHM and pulling that off well. I am saying this as someone who has been tested as gifted, and has a passion for learning for the sake of it. Learning fringe stuff will take away from your job performance. That energy is, unless you're struggling financially, better spent being a better homemaker.

Learning more than required for your life is a hobby. Hobbies have their place, but aren't vital.

MissPrissySunshine · 2019-04-26T13:47:54+00:00

Why don’t more women that stay at home get into things like stock trading and e-commerce since they have so much time on their hands to learn?

Oh sweet, sweet 20 year old childless college student.

You were probably getting downvoted because this is a pretty tone deaf post. You keep implying that stay at home mothers have “so much time on their hands”, which is pretty much a dead give away that you don’t really understand what being a stay at home parent involves. If you’re referring to women who’s kids are older and more self sufficient and in school, sure, I see your point.

That being said, I highly doubt the stay at home mothers in the age range you’re referring to (20-35) have older children, though. They likely have small children, and I promise you don’t have “so much time on your hands” when they’re small.

Also, stock trading and e-commerce isn’t for everyone, who wants to throw themselves into something they’re disinterested in? You definitely come off well meaning-ish, but a bit elitist and definitely lacking real knowledge or experience in the issue. Keeping your mind sharp is important and shouldn’t die when you have children, and there’s definitely a time for it. There’s also several years time where you’re just focused on keeping your household functional.

Aro2220 · 2019-04-26T00:50:52+00:00

Stock trading for the vast majority of people is literally gambling. Learning is great but stock trading????

smellular · 2019-04-26T11:39:51+00:00

I want to support OP.

My father travelled so often as I was growing up, my mother was functionally a single mother for most of my life.

She once told me to never turn down more training or education. She started a glorified secretary but would take every training her company would offer. She even became certified in the use of forklifts and other warehouse equipment as she climbed up a corporate ladder to the head of a dept. in a large, well known company.

She didn't stop at that. She started studying/learning and figured out a road map for my family to buy its first house.

She still didn't stop at that. She joined a community band, donated her time to charity, poured herself into our family garden and home renovation. (I can still hear that damn miter saw in my dreams)

She always had time for us and there was always dinner on the table. She would relish making new dishes and interesting spins on our family staples. (Wasabi mashed potatoes was a hit.)

To this day, she is probably one of the smartest, hardest working and nicest person I've ever met.

I feel the larger point of the post was to never let yourself decay. Never get too comfortable. While the children should absolutely come first in all cases, make time for yourself to improve. Even if you don't have kids: How are you better today than you were yesterday?

We are beings of infinite potential, gifted by god in this glorious world. To waste such blessing is a tragedy.

girlwithabike · 2019-04-26T02:04:19+00:00

I think you are getting down voted because you are trying to give advice for which you have no experience to give.

ondinee · 2019-04-26T09:12:24+00:00

Have you tried being a housewife before making assumptions? Have you tried having children? To say they have a lot of time on their hands is plain wrong. I am not even a housewife - I am in maternity leave with a newborn and I find your post insulting lol. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

PadThai42 · 2019-04-26T00:47:42+00:00

My GF asked me if I would be okay with being a stay at home dad since she’s a OBGYN doc. I need to start brushing up on my math...

Theendisnearornot · 2019-04-26T00:07:14+00:00

I’m a sort of stay at home mom. I went to massage school several years ago and I work something like 10 hours a week outside the home. I also homeschool my 4 kids. I love learning and realizing so many things I missed or didn’t understand in school has been eye opening. I don’t know too many SAHMs that are ditzy or stupid. Most that I know run their own businesses from home.

MissNietzsche · 2019-04-26T05:18:06+00:00

As a fellow, inexperienced 20 year old, you sound incredibly naive and foolish.

locomoco210 · 2019-04-26T05:32:43+00:00

Great. I have two degrees, own a home in Southern California and when I was 22, I thought I had all the answers too. Get your own damn kids, newborn and toddler, and stay in your lane. Being red pilled doesn’t mean becoming a day trader and spending one hour doing cleaning. It’s being a mom and a housewife, making a home and putting your family first and foremost. Sorry your loser ass sahm friends are disappointing you, so tell them to their face how you feel.

[deleted] · 2019-04-25T23:44:58+00:00

If ladies want something that can also help on the day to day, you can always study early childhood education/childhood development or dieticics! Developmental psychology is good too. Art and Music Appreciation can be energizing. If you love to bake, try out culinary chemistry! Want to get the kids involved? Become back yard scientists! Make a lesson plan for them and a lesson plan for you!

Tons of great stuff out there!

sywonsmumu · 2019-04-26T13:35:25+00:00

I think you're confusing intelligent with energetic. People grow up and mature, they don't feel the need to speak about any or everything at any given time. This doesn't mean they're unintelligent.

Why don't more women that stay at home get into things like stock trading and ecommerce since they have so much time on their hands to learn?

Sahms don't have so much time on their hands unless they are not doing their job. Being a sahm is another job that takes up your time, sometimes you won't have time for such things.

Sahms just are not learning because they're homemakers, they are able to learn through their kids, experiences, their home/work. Learning just doesn't come from a traditional thing.

locomoco210 · 2019-04-26T03:51:40+00:00

Get some kids and then get back to us.

timeforstretchpants · 2019-04-25T23:33:28+00:00

Being unintelligent or ditzy doesn't look cute ever.

The ditziest person I know is actually a doctor. The housewives I know are well-read, intelligent, and active in the community.

[deleted] · 2019-04-26T13:13:01+00:00

When they have so much time in their hands? Lol. Not at all

mado55 · 2019-04-26T00:07:25+00:00

I think letting the husband make the financial investment decisions makes sense. People (rightly so) can get touchy over others telling them how to manage their earnings, and it can become a even bigger issue when the stocks inevitably dip. It often leads to a lot of marital problems.

However, I agree with your overall sentiment. Too many homemakers replace reading and curiosity with reality shows and laziness. It's an easy trap to fall into.

FlyingSpaceBanana · 2019-04-26T02:31:57+00:00

Why don't more women that stay at home get into things like stock trading and ecommerce since they have so much time on their hands to learn?

Talk about condescending and clueless. Most stay-at-home moms don't have "so much time on their hands to learn," at least not if they're doing it right. They have kids to raise, meals to prepare and houses to clean.

That said, I am all for self-improvement. Taking an online class, starting a blog, making time to read or research something that you're interested in, doing a little bit of freelance work, etc. are all things for stay-at-home moms to consider. Even if they can only dedicate a couple of hours a week to it.

[deleted] · 2019-04-26T22:39:50+00:00

I think you're being very .... optimistic.

Realistically, being a mom and being older than 20 you're going to be tired and worn out. Even if your kids go to public school you only get 6 hours to deal with the house, run errands and take a break for your own sanity.

Also just because someone has a hobby or enjoys spending their free time doing things that aren't 'intellectual' or even if someone isnt constantly talking to you about the intellectual things they do in their free time doesn't mean they're letting their intellect rot. These women are 3d people you don't always get to see every side.

just_a_mum · 2019-04-26T02:49:06+00:00

As a current SAHM to 2 very young children, I find your post extremely ignorant. I would love for you to tell me when I "have all this time" on my hands!!

I also do not manage the household finances, that is my husband's job. My husband deals with all of our money and I get an allowance if I need it. I raise our children, I clean our house, I cook our meals. The small amount of time I do get free in any given week is spent on me, time that I need to re-energise.

I will say, however, that I am already well educated (I met my husband while finishing my PhD) so I have no need to go back to college for anything.

artemis286 · 2019-04-26T02:24:20+00:00

Jeez, you've had a pretty bad sampling. I'm pregnant with our first, and have been a full time student till the last trimester. I always had a goal of being a SAHM. But I also have my two year nursing degree, am certified as a doula and a lactation consultant, am wrapping up my bachelor's degree, and read more books than most other people I know. I have goals of learning how to homestead, doing yoga teacher training, going to graduate school, homeschooling out littles (which has involved SO much research, reading, and self-education), and continuing to learn.

Nearly every SAHM I know is college educated, or is actively working on a college degree. Many had professional jobs before becoming SAHMs. Many are incredibly intelligent, just sometimes stretched for time and energy. In addition, I come from a religious community, so these moms also frequently serve at church and in the community, and we also tend to have larger family sizes than the general population in the US. ETA and in addition to all that, many homeschool, have a business or help with a family business, are in school themselves, or work part time side jobs in addition to everything they do at home.

Also, trading stocks would be a terrible pastime for a SAHM. That's risky. I'm very financially literate, and have a one year, three year, and five year financial plan that includes savings, investing (not trading stocks, totally different thing), and preparing to buy a home after my husband graduates.

Having babies and toddlers is hard. And many moms naturally lose time for self education (and self-care) during that period. It's a constant balancing act and learning process as families learn to balance their individual circumstances and needs. But many pick it back up once their kids get older. The fatigue, mental and physical, are extremely real and it's hard work. Anyone who things that SAHMs (at least ones like the ones I've mentioned) just have oodles of time to sit around and let their minds willfully rot, doesn't have a clue about the realities of motherhood. Nurturing a family is very hard work, and a burnt out mom trying to do too many things is helpful to no one.

ironsoul99 · 2019-04-25T22:45:05+00:00

Most of the women in my community college classes are stay at home moms. I think it’s a great idea to pursue education while you tend to your kids in their early years. Kudos to them, college is hard enough but adding being a mom/wife is even harder.

dusty_dungarees · 2019-04-26T06:02:36+00:00

I think the part about SAHM "clearly having so much time on their hands" is what rubs us the wrong way! The workload of kids, husband and home is overwhelming, as hard as this is to believe. Then again, I wholeheartedly agree with your point, being that we need to conciously counteract the demise of our minds by stimulating learning. A great "two birds with one stone" is homeschooling your kids! Challenging, sometimes fun and keeps you on your toes. Until that point, there is no excuse for not reading, watching documentaries and tutorials and being ever curious. The ultimate achievement is to manage a small business or trade on the side from home while juggling home and family.

loveopenly · 2019-04-26T13:06:18+00:00

I'm a man so forgive me if this is obvious:

Audio podcasts are a fantastic way to learn on the move and if your hands are full. :)

_shirley_temple_ · 2019-04-26T04:40:29+00:00

I totally agree with you! I've been married four years, I'm a SAHM and during this time I've taught myself how to play guitar, taken up creative writing, I've always been a book nerd so I finish at least a couple of novels a month. I refuse to give up on college so I'm going into a field that would allow me to work mostly from home, part-time, or whatever works, so I can be present for my family and still take some of the burden off my hubby. I think my husband loves me more for stimulating my mind and still having ambition, it also means we have a lot more things we can converse about. I have a close friend who is a SAHM and accidentally started a six-figure earning business after she learned how to sew,

titamc · 2019-04-26T13:53:45+00:00

Yeah, I get your point. About the really bad SAHM, I guess that depends on where you live. In the US it's pretty common to be a SAHM but in my country, for example, it's mostly the women from the countryside who never really had a stable school education who are SAHM. There are many reasons. One of them is tradition, since the most uneducated people are usually the most traditional ones since their reasoning is not widely stimulated, thus being more inclined to accept what they are told. The second big reason is financial. Here, the poorer the people are, the more subsidies they get when they have kids, meaning poorer people have more kids, but then it would be too expensive to pay for daycare for all of them. Since poorer people usually have a lower education level (usually grade school here) they also make lower incomes, so it's useless for a mom of many to work cause her paycheck wouldn't compensate for the daycare.

I'm NOT saying people from the countryside are uneducated. I'm saying that many people from the countryside here live in poverty and, adding that to the fact of living away from city centers and hence schools, they usually have limited opportunities in what comes to getting a decent education.

relevanttopics · 2019-04-25T22:59:44+00:00

Excellent recommendation. Show us where and how to start or link where we can get more info

mspietra · 2019-05-26T03:47:36+00:00

My mother graduated at the top of her class during her master's and decided to be a SAHM. I can tell you she had no time for anything, raising two kids.

I think you're far too young to pass a judgment on SAHMs, whether millennial or not. Maybe try making a living in the world of the SAHMs you know first.

Title	If you're a housewife, you can use your spare time for self-education. Don't let your intellect rot.
Author	RPGLime
Upvotes	143
Comments	79
Date	April 25, 2019 10:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/if-youre-a-housewife-you-can-use-your-spare-time.236167 https://theredarchive.com/post/236167
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/bhervj/if_youre_a_housewife_you_can_use_your_spare_time/