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Inner Peace and Serenity

March 17, 2018
22 upvotes

Hi everyone :)

I've been just itching to make a post about this because I remember in Fascinating Womanhood, the concept of having inner serenity is highly important in a woman, but I don't recall reading many posts about it.

Being a good cook, being sexy, not nagging are all super important, but lately it's finally dawning on me what inner serenity means, and how it's how crucial it is as a final piece of the puzzle.

I posted a couple of months ago about my boyfriend, and things are still going as amazing as ever (seeing each other 5 months). I'll just share some recent "results":

  • He told me he misses me in the morning as soon as he walks out the door when I stay overnight.

  • There was a silly joke about getting old/dying and he said, "we all die someday." I pouted and said "I'm not comforted," and he said "but until then, you have me."

  • He's a really good person, though he's often harsh and can be sarcastic with his male and female friends. But with me, he's so tender, like I need to be treated with a "lighter touch."

There's so much more but I have to stop indulging myself haha. Anyway inner serenity seemed really vague, and I think it's connected to another part of the book/theory about making him #1 in your life. I think that kind of feeling of awe, and "purity" and selflessness is incredibly inspiring to a man.

Some more tangible examples of what this might look like:

  • One day, he got off a long day of work and we were going to play this video game together. I was really looking forward to it, but while it was loading, he fell asleep in my lap. I didn't think about the game but how he worked hard, and how comfy he looks sleeping. We stayed like that for half an hour and I thought I might as well do some work, so I tried to replace my lap with a pillow, but he woke up. He was surprised that it's been half and hour and asked why I didn't wake him up, and I couldn't even think to do that. He looked so touched.

  • I do a bit of cleaning when he's gone to lighten his load. I'm just mentioning this because he notices and greatly appreciates when I cook, but he either doesn't notice, or doesn't think it's worth mentioning when I clean. But I don't care at all, and I don't point it out, because it's about lightening his load, not about "looking good." Perhaps all this is normal but in my past relationships, I just did these things to "look good in his eyes." I'm a pretty lazy person (trying to overcome!) so I usually hate doing housework but I find genuine pleasure when I do it for him, which was even surprising to me.

  • At the core, I feel like it's not about the kind of things you do, or being the stereotypical definition of a good girl, but accepting yourself for who you are (not in a BP "I'm fat, oh well" kind of way) and trying to have good and lovely intentions towards others. For example I have a strained relationship with my mother, and I used to lash out at her and badmouth her to others (it's a complicated history). I'm nowhere near perfect now but I try my best to understand and accept her for who she is, and try to imagine that being a parent is hard, and people make mistakes. And here's an uncomfortable part of RP, and I see a lot of women worrying about their less than pristine sexual history. This is RP, and being chaste DOES have value, but I believe that inner peace requires you to make peace with whatever past you have. Mine is not crazy, but it's not like I have zero history before meeting this man. I would rather not talk about this, but it feels important because when I first discovered TRP, I was totally scared and ashamed (something that a few people might relate to, based on what I've read). And those feelings lead to lying, to manipulating, and to a lack of inner peace and security. I've accepted my past by understanding and empathizing with me when I was younger, with my circumstances (including our progressively more "open" society) and remembering some positive attributes in my mind like not taking advantage of people and not knowingly hurting people, not dissimilar to how I tried to empathize with my mother. Part of being accepting and kind to others is that you also need to apply it to yourself. Once one goes through this process, it seems like they take on a different vibe/aura.

  • I usually stop whatever I'm doing (usually electronics) when he gets in the room/close to me. It's not some rule we made up, it just felt respectful, and I also naturally feel like he's the most important thing in the room.

  • I think I actually consider his feelings more than my own. Sometimes if we disagree on some issue and I think I'm right, I defer to him because I just realize that being right and leading is so much more important to him than me proving I'm right (which isn't even that important that me). Also what is so hard about saying sorry? I often say sorry lightly and innocently when he's just having a bad day. I think before, I had a lot of pride if I thought I was right, I needed to prove it. Now I'm seeing pride as more of a masculine trait. Our language is slightly confusing as we use strengths and weaknesses to mean positive and negative attributes, but often weakness (in the sense of vulnerability and open trust to a select few) is a positive attribute in a woman. (Total tangent here, but I also think that's where we get these confusing slogans that say vulnerability is strong. Not really, they're contradictory. But vulnerability can be a positive attribute in certain situations!)

The other thing is that it feels like it's not just for him. When I treat him as my #1 priority, I feel so happy, at peace, and like I've never loved someone so much in my life. He's a great person, but also my knowledge of psychology permits me to say that I'm responsible for a lot of what I'm feeling. There's that study that found how if you sit up straighter, you'll feel more confident. Basically your brain tricks you into feeling how you act. This is so important for some women, who get carried away with their emotions. Cognitive dissonance will usually make how you feel conform with how you act.

Obviously this is for men whom you've already vetted, like don't just find a random person to treat like a king haha. But the RP talks about how women are emotional and not as loyal as men, so this feels important to say. Perhaps sometimes what happens is that a man you've already vetted experiences a "slump," so you become a bit more lazy in your behavior, and your emotions soon follow. Anyway, try to remember the good times, upkeep your behavior, and your emotions should "stick" with your behavior for long enough to get over the slump.

He hasn't "slumped" but a couple of girlfriends have privately mentioned to me about how he doesn't have a great career/income. I knew this from day 1, I believe in him, and the day I agreed to start the relationship (I've read about RP a lot by then) I decided to treat him as the best man in the world, and weirdly enough my emotions followed. He's the best in my eyes, and in "return," he's treated me better than anyone I've been with before. In some ways, he treats me better than my dad, and I have a good relationship with my dad!

Ok that's it, part of this was just me feeling giddy these days and needing to share! But I genuinely want to hear about your experiences and opinions about the concept of inner peace and "feminine goodness" I sometimes read about. Thanks for reading!

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Post Information
Title Inner Peace and Serenity
Author LeilaintheDark
Upvotes 22
Comments 1
Date March 17, 2018 4:28 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/inner-peace-and-serenity.74438
https://theredarchive.com/post/74438
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/851iv9/inner_peace_and_serenity/
Comments

[–]jollymoggy6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is lovely 😊 I have also experienced these sorts of situations. I read a lot about TRP before getting into this current relationship, (10 months yesterday!) including Fasinating Womanhood. And seeing the changes by being more peaceful and serene compared to past relationships has been a breath of fresh air. Examples:

My BF has come all the way to my house and ended up falling asleep on the bed most of the night; but he works full time, long hours and I completely understand; I simply calmly do my own thing such as read or watch a show. He always feels guilty when he wakes up but I always smile and show him it's fine.

He tends to leave plates and cups lying around but I take them and clean them without a word.

I'll grab him drinks or food while he's watching a show or playing games with his friends. (Also not being offended when he wants to spend some time gaming with his guy friends on one of his rare days off, though I game too and sometimes join him haha)

When I do get emotional I've been working on not blowing up and letting it pass and it works. E.g. The next day I realise it was such a little thing and wasn't worth getting mad at him about, being glad I didn't make a huge thing about it.

The results are comments like "You're the best girlfriend ever" and "this is why you're so amazing." So I feel your giddiness! I still need to work on these things though, especially being happy with and accepting myself (I get the odd day where low self-esteem creeps on me).

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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