Intro, or how lurking here has fixed my (25F) life

I've been lurking here for a long time. Like.....a long time. It started as something I just couldn't believe, then turned into a guilty pleasure. Even at my most BP, tumblr-esque moments, I still found this place so weirdly fascinating. Of course, I was super upset: what do you mean men like feminine women??? I had always tried so hard to push down my more feminine traits, seeing them as "weaker." I thought I was better than that - charming, I know. As I read, I hated that I saw the points, even agreed in some way with what was being said around here. But still I lurked.

About two and a half years ago, after dropping out of school due to financial reasons and a rough breakup, I decided I needed to take some time to get myself together. I figured it couldn't hurt to try out the whole nun mode thing. Arguably the best thing I ever did for myself.

I spent six months working out my issues with my femininity, putting in the work to heal myself, to present myself to the world in a better light, and to take care of myself. I got therapy for personal trauma. I started taking care of myself, body, mind, and spirit. I found that I was a whole person on my own. Because, in spite of the whole "be your own woman, you don't need anyone" mentality, that was something I lacked before. Before, I was approaching being my own woman out of spite, leaving me angry and sad inside. This way, I was doing it to better myself.

About two years ago, about a month after coming out of nun mode, I met the love of my life. He is kind, respectful, but also a fantastic leader. He is the kind of man that I strive to be my best for. And honestly.....RP works. This has been the most fruitful and happy relationship I've ever been in. He constantly mentions how lovely I am, how I have this "womanly air" about me, and how happy he is to have me in his life. We live together and are actively working on our goals we wish to accomplish before marriage.

Of course, I'm still working to improve myself. I've gone back to school and am working toward finishing my undergrad degree. I'm working on losing a serious amount of weight (started in nun mode, had some success, then med changes messed me up). But I am so happy living in a way that allows me to lean into my feminine nature and play into my strengths. I am honestly thankful that this sub was able to guide me toward a different direction, one where I could form a relationship out of respect and understanding of differences, instead of demanding that my partner see my way.

Anyway, that's my intro/love letter to RPW. A huge thank you to all of the lovely people who contribute to this community and help people like me figure out life.