We at the Red Pill are all well acquainted with Chad Thundercock -- some of us (though it pains to admit it), intimately so.
But less well known is his younger brother, Dylan. I was familiar with the person, but until recently, not the name... until
Guywithgirlwithabike was kind enough to tell me (they've known each other for years)! Now, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Dylan Thundercock.
Like his brother Chad, Dylan is very handsome... but unlike big bro, he seems so humble, not arrogant at all! He's even a little bit nerdy... he loves all the Lord of the Rings movies and he even cosplayed as Aragorn at the Ren Faire (teehee!). He was just totally shocked at how many women he was able to get out of their chemises by the end of the afternoon.
But Dylan doesn't judge them. In fact, whenever Chad calls women whores and sluts, Dylan is always quick to chide him and come to their defense. You see, Dylan is a feminist. He will never, ever think ill of a woman for having a high n-count (actually, he's not even familiar with that term, outside the realm of biostatistics, of course). He thinks women should be free to explore their sexuality with whomever and however they wish. Some of his closest friends are strippers... ahem, sex workers. He feels really bad for all those oppressed handmaidens, kept down by the cruel patriarchy, who will never know the liberating bliss of getting pounded by Dylan in his tent at Burning Man.
Dylan doesn't sleep around... he's polyamorous. He can't get it up for any woman with whom he doesn't have a deep emotional connection. I know you just met him, here at this dive bar where he just finished playing a set, but with one glance, Dylan can see into your soul. Don't you want to explore this inexplicably intense bond that you two share? Oh, he's moving too fast? That's OK, he'll wait until you're comfortable, when the stars align and the time is right. In the meantime, he's going home with Alexandra. Oh, you're jealous? He never imagined you could be so controlling; he thought you were so kind-hearted and open-minded! Why are you trying to shame Dylan, just because he has so much love to give?!
Dylan listens intently and sympathetically as you malign your husband or your boyfriend. It's so terrible that your man doesn't immediately respond to your text messages when he's at work, while Dylan is always responding right away... even when Alexandra is right next to him in bed. Ah, Alexandra... she's such a strong, confident woman... so unlike all these hysterical, backward-thinking little girls with oppressive expectations of monogamy.
Dylan will always be supportive of your dreams. He hasn't missed a single one of your burlesque performances! And isn't it great how, unlike Chad (who only dates cheerleaders and Victoria Secret models), he doesn't have these societally-manufactured expectations of beauty? Dylan loves women of all shapes and sizes... so long as they are bent over the hood of his classic Mustang.
Of course, Dylan would never ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. He knows your happiness is the most important thing in the world, after all. But wasn't it Mother Theresa who said that suffering brings us closer to God? With that in mind, won't you try anal, just this once?