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Is it me, or is femininity being villainized but idealized?

June 6, 2021
105 upvotes

It just seems that there are very few feminine women who are just...happily feminine and honest. It’s like, I saw this birth control commercial and it seemed like they were forcing it. Stay at home moms are rare, and rarley speak of themselves. The first stay at home mom I ever met was on YouTube this girl named Classy Abby. At least she wants to be. It’s like the occupation isn’t valued or looked at as important to any real degree. Just a piece of domestic living.

My mom says I show be more lady like (extremely masculine). I have a deep voice. All the girls I know are ether bi sexual, gay, transgender-ish, non binary, or Pan sexual. Like barley anybody is just....a girl. Nothing against them, but I don’t met many girls who like being girls. WHAT THE FUCK IS A BIRTHING PERSON?????

Do girls not like being girls? Is being a girl so bad and Devalued in society?

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Post Information
Title Is it me, or is femininity being villainized but idealized?
Author As_XmasterX_3000
Upvotes 105
Comments 69
Date June 6, 2021 10:13 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-it-me-or-is-femininity-being-villainized-but.781136
https://theredarchive.com/post/781136
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ntx3ab/is_it_me_or_is_femininity_being_villainized_but/
Comments

[–]ManguZa1 Star 114 points115 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe that plain heterosexual girls are busy to be happy with their boyfriend/husband so they are less visible than others that need to be seen to feel important.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha probably

[–]EviessVeralan 35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't know if I'd say it's because society hates femininity. I think that the reason some women are identifying as lgbtq is due to the attention, status and praise one gets by being in the group. Instead of going goth now you can become the pansexual demiqueer.

[–]Protocol_Apollo 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This.

[–]MysticalMelody 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree; there is some of that happening.

[–]Jenneapolis 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I definitely don’t feel this way - i’m very comfortable with my femininity although I don’t define it any way as building a home or staying at home and raising kids. I live in the Midwest and I know a lot of the stay at home moms and others who work but are very into traditional lifestyle. I think there’s a lot of feminine role models out there if you look - I think of the Martha Stewart’s and Joanna Gaines of the world to name a couple. Maybe it’s just all about how you define femininity. Yes if you have very strict interpretations of it, you will be disappointed (and I mean “you” as the collective you here, not you OP)

[–]Sad_Refrigerator2003 53 points54 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I don't check social media often because the social justice warriors act like they are for a good cause but then they shame women if they are religious and/or have a traditional relationship or traditional values

I've seen a lot of posts where they shame women for being "vanilla" too like if they aren't into 3-somes and BDSM there's something wrong with them

I've even see posts where they shame girls for dreaming about a nuclear family. I've seen posts where they shame girls for waiting until marriage but also shame them if they get pregnant early and are upset if the man wants nothing to do with them.

It's all a joke. Good riddance I don't look at those posts anymore gave me many headaches

[–]Sad_Refrigerator2003 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'd want to be a SAHM if my resume wouldn't get screwed up for being out of work for a few years. It's all rigged against us man.

[–]MirriMazDuur 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it screwed if you literally write that you've been a sahm? I think plenty of employers would interpret that as you being a responsable and caring person

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Naw, I don’t think so. I just think the working man don’t need a working woman

[–]_Ding 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

All the girls you know aren’t ‘a girl’ ? ...

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

18

[–]_Ding 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Makes sense

[–]thesculptedone 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha I thought the same

[–]SunshineSundress2 Star 40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aside from the fact that there are plenty of bi or lesbian women who are quite feminine, I think you’re starting to find yourself in an online echo chamber.

Go outside. Even in my metropolitan city that’s VERY liberal and left-leaning, feminine women who present themselves pretty conventionally are the overwhelming majority of what I see everyday. I see primarily heterosexual couples. I see a small amount of gay/lesbian couples, but I have no problem with them and they deserve to be with whoever they want! The whole gender identity politics, birthing women rhetoric is mostly only on social media.

[–]pieorstrudel5 25 points26 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Right now if you actively keep up with the news, it gives you a skewed sense of reality. It seems like gender is being blurred everywhere - and to an extent yes (especially marketing wise) - but I'd say it's some pitifully small percentage of the population that actually is gender bending. I looked it up once, I don't think it's even a double digit number of people - hell, I don't think it's even a whole percentage point. It's just a hot topic that is getting a lot of buzz. So I think it seems like women aren't as feminine as they used to be. But those of us who are embracing traditional feminity are also not trying very hard to be the loud voice in the room. Also most women are totally.... How do I put this.... vapid Consumers? So if they see some cool girl wear cut off jeans, crop top, and one of those weird hats.... She will do it too. Is the outfit feminine - meh, yes? Is it traditionally feminine? No.

This is a rambly mess, I apologize!

[–]Protocol_Apollo 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

hell, I don't think it's even a whole percentage point. It's just a hot topic that is getting a lot of buzz.

Lgbt population is roughly at max this. Makes you think, could lgbt be a top down push instead of a grassroots movement?

Also most women are totally.... How do I put this.... vapid Consumers?

That’s what liberalism does. It is to create gender less, identity-less hyperconsumerist beings who rely on the government/corporations for everything. The perfect liberal subject is a completely alienated consumer.

They alienate you from all systems of identity such as race, gender, religion, family, so you can consume via the destruction of traditional structures and making you pay for an inferior alternative.

[–]MysticalMelody 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Or liberalism may be trying to create a world in which people who reject traditional life aren't vilified or oppressed, which is the historical norm. Being different shouldn't be unsafe.

[–]Protocol_Apollo 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

What it tries and what it actually does are 2 very different things.

And you post on r politics. Nuff said.

[–]MysticalMelody 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Although you make a point that could be valid if you backed it up with evidence, you also proved that you aren't that good at evaluating evidence. Ad hominem ergo propter hoc... 🤣 No thanks.

So I think we're done here.

[–]Protocol_Apollo 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeh we probably are.

Not going to argue with a woman.

Especially a liberal one who can somehow simultaneously spend time in the most Astroturfed liberal subreddit but also in a sub which entirely rejects liberal visions of femininity and relationships. Self awareness might not be your strongest suit.

And you seem to be confusing ad hominem with post hoc ergo propter hoc by merging the two.

[–]MysticalMelody 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

First of all, I am not confused... I merged those on purpose for humor (🤣) and because they reveal a truth when combined that amused me, i. e. your attack on me does not prove your point just because you put me down. Latin is fun, Ken.

Furthermore, I take in a broad range of views, some of which may confuse or concern you if you think reddit is really important. However, reading outside one's experience is a practice that most intelligent people would not disparage. A polite question or two could possibly disabuse you of the worst of your assumptions.

Finally, to return to the point, I believe femininity is not opposed to liberalism. Feminine women embrace a natural truth to which they are entitled as free individuals. In my sociopolitical life, I choose not to support punishing other people for their lives and loves, an attitude that does not currently comport with Republican values. That does not mean that I am not feminine or traditional. It means that I don't grieve that others are not the same. Clearly, we disagree there.

I love this sub, by the way. Some of the wisest gender and relationship discussions on the internet are happening right here. These women are brilliant, practical, and kind. I don't know if they love my pointy self, but I do love them. So there, lol... 😝

[–]LateralThinker134 Stars 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Stay at home moms are rare, and rarley speak of themselves.

Because being a SAHM doesn't get that much respect in media, you don't hear from them when they speak positively. But they aren't rare.

All the girls I know are ether bi sexual, gay, transgender-ish, non binary, or Pan sexual. Like barley anybody is just....a girl.

Let me guess, you're either in college or in a big city? Conservative areas have, and respect, SAHMs just fine.

EDIT: Just saw you're 18. Called it. School curriculum villifies being a SAHM. Don't believe the hype.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m in Georgia.

[–]LateralThinker134 Stars 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Doesn't help. If you're in Atlanta or any other major hub of liberal insanity, you'll get a lot of this nonsense. If you're in the burbs or rural, you likely won't.

[–]-ladykitsune- 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The loud voices on social media are often the minority. Most ‘normal’ people I know don’t spend much time on social media. I browse stuff but if I see something I disagree with I just move on - I don’t bother wasting my time or energy arguing with strangers on the internet. I’m sure a large majority of women think the same as me.

So while it may seem like ‘everyone online’ thinks a certain way, there are many people who are different but don’t make their presence known.

[–]planterkitty 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

More women are coming forward and sharing their life and views on social media. Be warned though, liberal-minded people have branded them 'tradwives' and consider them 'problematic'. (These women are being associated with extreme right-wing nationalism, whether or not they deserve it.) Western examples are Mrs. Midwest and The Darling Academy. (There are more, once you follow a few and social media algorithms suggest similar accounts.)

If you want low-key, relaxed stay-at-home mums and wives just doing their thing with little political commentary, check our Roha, Imamu Room, and Kimono Mom on YouTube. (I've noticed an East/West divide when it comes to traditional femininity. It's not so villified in Asian countries.)

[–]HappilyMrs 22 points23 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Plenty of us bi/pan/lesbian people are girly and very happy in our femininity

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Oh I didn’t mean it like that. It’s that I don’t see any plain heterosexual girls much

[–]HappilyMrs 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wonder if that's because people are more open now than they were

[–]isidorakimou 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I love being a girl, doing makeup, nails, etc. But I get it most are too bored to do those things and instead of trying themselves or going somewhere to get certain stuff done, they judge you and are being mean (and personally I consider that I do the bare minimum and still have received a lot of unexpected mean criticism). Haters gonna hate, do you.

[–]Pinkalicious100 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, that sometimes dressing up overtly femininely is rare to see. Personally, I just do my own thing and live life. Why do we need role models when we ourselves are the best

[–]wispo-wills 11 points12 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Well considering the rapid rise in females identifying as men, yeah, girls hate being girls these days. It's the weirdest most misogynistic trend I've ever witnessed and they're happy to chop off the breasts in the name of "freedom". Clearly, liberal Feminism has gone too far with going from supporting women, to downright betraying girls and women by wanting to enter their masculine principle. The idea is "you can only be successful if you're masculine", "you can only be taken seriously if you are a man", "you won't be a sexual object if you are a man" - so these young women opt for transgender instead because they want financial success, they want to be taken seriously, and they want to avoid the male gaze. Liberal Feminism has betrayed women to the point of women being unwilling to be women. Because being feminine has been labeled bad, weak, submissive, and a slave to men - stay-at-home moms and housewives are obviously "slaves". The cure is to be a man. Many women today have no idea the value of womanhood and they seem to have forgotten what it means to be one. Considering "birthing person" and "human milk"....yeah, womanhood is lost. Can't call mothers mothers any more.

True empowerment would be accepting all sorts of fashions of women. Butch to femme. Traditional to "modern". Women can act in any way she feels like it and that doesn't make her less or more of a woman. She's just a woman.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

That pretty much describes my life, to a third person. I really just don’t care to be a girl, seems to be weak, whiny, and all other connotations. In my childhood Womanhood was a disability I had to overcome, not live into

[–]wispo-wills 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

No one teaches girls the value of girlhood because they're too busy focusing on the value of boys and their supposed automatic success (despite the fact that men are the dominant sex in the homelessness crisis). If girls knew their worth as girls, maybe then all that "weakness" would seize to be a stereotype. I hate how we do often see feminitity as weak when it's not at all.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

It is weak, I’ve never got a complement on my girl ness. It’s like we are here to serve as moms and bresders, often disrespected. Men don’t respect us because they rule. So when we try to rule, they see it as ridiculous and envious. I’d honestly think they are right. What type of womanhood relies on being pregnant. Manhood is about creating. Womanhood just is. That is a sad reality girls all run from

[–]wispo-wills 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Women are not just breeders. They birth our culture and nurture it into success. Men and women both create, so I disagree that it's one-sided. Misogynistic men and misogynistic women have told girls and women that being feminine is weak and it's convinced us that it really does suck. But I don't see any evidence that it's true. If women knew just how powerful they are, they wouldn't be turning themselves into pseudo men. If we stop putting on the victimhood mentality, we'd stop sitting on our thumbs and actually get shit done. We are not victims. The sooner we stop believing the lies, the sooner we'll see our worth.

Think about this: the fact that transwomen make up most of the trans community obviously suggests that men hate being men, too. Because of the rise in liberal Feminism and with that misandry (idk if you've noticed but it's very trendy to hate men these days), boys have grown up believing they are lesser than girls, that girls are superior, more put-together and mature than them. Certain households (especially certain single moms) are teaching their toddler sons how worthless and dangerous they are. Those sons grow up to hate themselves. Masculinity in boys is under attack as well as feminitity in girls.

The reason why men "rule" as you say, is because they're not only envious of women, but downright terrified. Witch hunts didn't happen because men saw women as weak, they happened because they recognized how powerful women are and wanted to smudge it.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

To think women powerful in any but attraction and love is…odd. In my perspective at least. Women get men to do things for them, so I thought we ought to go to war and kill like them, isn’t that what women ought to do? We can be cute and soft and all, but their should always be logical rational mindset. Amd sacrifice

[–]wispo-wills 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Don't fall for those lies either: women and girls are far more than just their looks. Most straight men and lesbians want a woman with personality. Looks do matter in relationships, but personality is where the gold really is. Power isn't just in physical prowess, it's mental and emotional strength. Women don't need to go to war as a rite of passage to be powerful. Women can be kick-ass moms, wives, girlfriends, teachers, group leaders, etc. Our power is in our intuition and emotional intelligence. Yes, women should know how to defend themselves, their home and their country, but you can do that while also being feminine. I think what you're talking about has more to do with honor rather than feminitity/masculinity. Sacrifice is not gendered.

Obviously, everyone should be logical and rational no matter who you are. That's not a male trait, that's a human trait.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks I’ll take this in

[–]wispo-wills 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Take care ❤️

[–]MysticalMelody 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

🙌🙌

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]wispo-wills 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm a gender abolitionist. Gender is just harmful stereotypes. I don't think this will help anyone. It'll just reinforce her idea of feminitity being bad. We only have biology and our DNA decides how we interact with the world. Gender is something made up by a predator named Dr John Money. Look him up.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]wispo-wills 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Getting your breasts removed and then later "put back in" is a very downplayed version of what actually happens. Breasts can feed children, breasts have sensations many of which are pleasurable. Silicone does not have that ability. If you surgically remove your breasts, you not only disable the ability to breastfeed, but you also potentially lose your nipples, lose all sensation of your nipples, nerve damage, loss of all chest sensation. Getting implants brings further complications, and you also have to replace them every few years. Surgery is traumatizing to the body no matter what you're doing to it. Let's not diminish the risks here just for some mental hang ups surrounding your mythical gender.

No woman or girl can present "male" because women and girls are female, biologically that's all they get. If they wear clothes that are traditionally associated with men and are meant to fit men, that does not mean she's presenting "male", she's presenting female but with different clothes. Clothes aren't gendered, they're tailored.

I disagree that stereotypes can be empowering. I like being feminine, personally, but that is not what makes me feel empowered. I am comfortable being female and I love my body. Gender and stereotypes are not involved with how I love myself.

[–]mspalomar 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Unfortunately, it’s not cool to be ‘just a girl’ right now. It’s repackaged misogyny.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right. Manhood is much more important and praised

[–]AnotherRichard827379 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I hear you, OP. The exact same thing is happening to traditional masculinity. It’s an attack by leftist cultural movements and it will be the death of our society.

[–]MysticalMelody 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Have you thought about how to make society worth saving personally? Things like living by example. Having a life worth emulating. Examining traditional masculinity and proving it can be lived without damaging women, that real men are worthy of the name. Teaching your kids to do the same, and leaving the political boogeymen out of it?

[–]AnotherRichard827379 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely; Living a life as best as I can that would be pleasing to God, to my family, and which exemplifies the values I purport. Even if I fail sometimes it’s important not to be dissuaded.

A major part of that is being willing to show and explain to the men and women I know why I live the life I do and why it’s important and how it can improve their life. I find this to be especially important in how I treat my SO (currently single but dated a girl seriously for a couple years). She was once pretty skeptical about traditional and conservative values and Christian but she—to this day—is a believer and I’m happy to have been a part of that process.

It’s also an accountability game. You have to surround yourself with men and women who reinforce those values and know the importance of it. The solidarity and friendship is timeless as well.

While I don’t have children at this time, I do intend to instill and pass along these values when I do. They will ultimately make their own decisions, but until that time it’s important for me to show and tell them what I’ve learned and how they can benefit from that.

And all of that is without the boogeyman. But it’s important to acknowledge that he does exist. He exists in all of us. It’s a temptation to give into hedonism, emotion, and laziness. As a Christian, I recognize this to be the work of Satan. It is further important to note that Satan isn’t scary. He’s inviting, comforting, beautiful, easy. He’ll come in the form of thoughts, “friends”, and even political movements, and he’ll have victory over many. It really is a battle. If we don’t recognize there is an enemy who would see our destruction, how can we expect to win?

It’s of great import to be hopeful and a beacon to others, like a light on a hill, but we cannot be naive. Preparing to be strong willed with what you believe and having a solid foundation means being versed in what others may throw at you.

There are those we can disagree with politically or socially with whom wisdom and empathy can be gained and shared. But there are others where compromise cannot not be an option. There are those who would see everything we hold dear completely annihilated. We can’t pretend that they don’t exist.

[–]anothergoodbook 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I am reading Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shirer and yes - this is very much what is happening.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What it say?

[–]anothergoodbook 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She discusses the uptick in girls who are transitioning to boys. It’s been a massive increase that doesn’t correlate with the numbers of adult women who are transitioning. She points to many factors at play - one of which she believes that society has demonized women’s role and downplayed the importance of femininity.

It’s a very good book and incredibly heartbreaking. Girls as young as 13, in some states, have been allowed to have their breasts removed. The hormones that they are given almost guarantees sterility. And if anyone questions it (medical professionals included) they are branded transphobic.

[–]LateralThinker134 Stars 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't forget desistance rates. The number of people who detransition before 18 is a MAJORITY of those who transition.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No language policing

[–]aussiedollface2 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m a millennial and I am beginning to wonder what on earth is wrong with Gen Z tbh. Do Gen Z guys even like femininity!?

[–]blandpotatoesoup 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Girls of the modern age have been successfully led to believe that the number of boxes checked in some social circles lead to higher social standing. Often times these labels are sources of self esteem. There have been studies done to address the question: "are all these girls really "trans" "pansexual" etc. Often they are not, but the identity is assumed in an effort to elevate the persons social status. Consciously or unconsciously. Being a girl is even more valued now than it ever has been, and it will take girls to "pressure" the hidden women to be women once again.

[–]As_XmasterX_3000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t understand

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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