Is it too late to start over at 27f?

ghostgirl36 · 2021-11-09T05:10:29+00:00

you have anxiety because your gut is tellin you its not right

your husband shouldnt make you feel guilty because you expect him to be the provider

your husband shouldnt put anyone else before you. Wife comes first, not parents. ESPECIALLY when theyre young and healthy.

Nothing here is right. Super long term engagement, unenthusiastic resentful husband, hints that you'll have to be comfortable taking a backseat to everyhting he cares about more...

Start over

reticentfemininity · 2021-11-09T02:38:16+00:00

It really sounds like you guys need to sit down and talk about how financials will work before you go any further. Being a stay at home mum requires a massive amount of trust in your partner and their ability to support the family's lifestyle. Right now he is talking 50/50 and this is not something that will work when you come to that bridge. What's the plan there? Who will be responsible for what? In our home all money is family money and we each get an equal weekly "allowance" for personal spending. I do all the budgeting and bill paying simply because I am better at it. He did take over for all my pregnancys though because my brain just couldn't do it. If the goal is to be a sahm and to buy a house, hypotheticals about moving away from his parents for your job just doesn't make sense. If it was about being closer to a different support network (your family vs his) this is something to really get into now before you purchase a house or get married. You may be incompatible.

stayathomephenom · 2021-11-09T17:37:16+00:00

Start over. Or wait to get married and have kids till you figure this all out! Don’t get pressured because your engaged or have been together for 5 years. Marriage and kids both need alot of time and thought.

suzukio0 · 2021-11-09T00:29:46+00:00

Hey I don’t think it’s too late, and sorry for my pessimism but I honestly think he’s using you as a placeholder, he’s been engaged to you for 5 years, hasn’t made an forward movement such as buying a house or even initiating looking for one. I don’t think you should have kids with someone who won’t marry or hasn’t married you yet. Marriage isn’t always forever, Kids are. He doesn’t seem to see you or the idea of being with you and your family that you guys are “ready” for as a priority. I’m not sure how old he is but it seems like he feels like other things are important. Also you don’t seem as ready to settle down either, now if kids are something you want I hope you have them with the right person one that will take care of you and them. It isn’t too late to do whatever you want but you just have to know what exactly that is. I wish you the very best with everything.

HerMotive · 2021-11-10T03:41:01+00:00

Start over! Take it from me. You shouldn’t be feeling this way. I am extremely indecisive, it takes me lots of research and thought to pick out the simplest things. I’m certain this is annoying to others, but I’m fortunate to have a great circle. However, when it came to my marriage, I felt so certain and secure. I know “cold feet” is hyped up. But in my experience with friends, the hesitation often was due to them arguing with husbands about wedding details. You mention him making you feel guilty about finances and not prioritizing you. To me, these acts are deal breakers. Building a beautiful life with someone requires being each other’s priority and communicating effectively.

Full-you123 · 2021-11-20T05:03:31+00:00

Me personally I couldn’t be bothered to start over at 27. Maybe 22/23 but 27 the thought of going back on the horrible dating market would put me off. I’d be more inclined to fix my differences with my partner given they’re a good person but that’s just me 🤷🏻‍♀️

2021-11-09T08:46:53+00:00

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summerisntmyfriend · 2021-11-11T18:08:39+00:00

Caring for parents is not a bad trait.
Wanting to split finances evenly when you aren't yet pregnant or caring for a child sounds like a reasonable expectation.
You can still travel when you have children.
If you want a family and children "exploring your life" shouldn't be a top priority.
Let's be real, starting over at 27 IF married with kids is your endgame is a bit late (no disrespect, just from biological point of view).
Be glad if his parents are healthy and in the same town as you, you are gonna be happy to have them around to babysit.
As for staying at home, why don't you cross that bridge when you come to it? Marriage is a complex business, you cannot plan and calculate every step.

Ofc I don't know you but I think you are a bit scared of commitment and giving your lifestyle. I went through the same process year and a half ago, transitioning from a working life into a domestic one was not very smooth. It's easier to not have responsibilities of being a parent and a partner and live life like a careless 20 something.

I don't want to sound disrespectful but there aren't many quality men out there who want to have a family and marry someone nearing their 30s. Not saying it's wrong to be financially independent etc but you may want to rethink your priorities if a family life is something you want.

Title	Is it too late to start over at 27f?
Author	an1day1dola
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	November 8, 2021 11:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qpq8z1/is_it_too_late_to_start_over_at_27f/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-it-too-late-to-start-over-at-27f.1085144 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085144