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Just saying yes to sex has made him more affectionate!

May 15, 2022

I dont have the highest libido and my man is always in the mood. Sometimes when we’re both just waking up I feel him rubbing me up and sometimes it will turn me off because I think that sex is “too much” or some other thing like that.

When we have sex he is really affectionate. We’ve been going about twice a day & he has been kissing me and holding me and telling me he loves me :3 im very happy! Because yeah I may not feel like it completely it always feels good with him. I take pride in satisfying him & in return he gives me the affection i need 🤍

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Post Information
Title Just saying yes to sex has made him more affectionate!
Author LoveWitchXo
Upvotes 219
Comments 42
Date May 15, 2022 12:39 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]Key-Progress-8873 78 points79 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is great and I am happy for you! He probably thinks the same - by getting physical with him more often, he now feels that you've also become more affectionate with him. It's always a two way street.

[–]thepretendchristian 112 points113 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The secret to a happy marriage is lots of sex ;)

I notice my man’s overall mood is lighter when sex is in abundance. When he’s at work, chilling at home, etc. A lot of pent up stress is released when he’s been released. He’s much more cuddly and touchy with me during these times. I’ve noticed that I feel more connected to him also and my own stress levels dwindle down.

I always tell my friends: if your man is having a rough day, give him a spontaneous blow job.

[–]ant2k15 40 points41 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I always say you don’t give a blowjob with your mouth you give it with your heart.

[–]VasiliyZaitzevTRP Senior Endorsed 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link


“And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day."

[–]ConductionReduction 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mans just needed a blowie

[–]magic_damage 52 points53 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The sex is the glue of the relationships.

[–]Jenneapolis 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A guy told me this once! And it stuck with me, pun intended :) seriously even if you fight a lot, doing it often holds you two together.

[–]ismystreetname 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

After me and my bf argue or after he upset me, the sex right after is the best and he finishes super loud and hard especially lol

[–]emmalai852 Stars 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We have sex everyday too. 16+ years. Sex is really important to us too. Although he doesn't need it 2 to 3x a day as often as when we first met in his 30s(he's 50) but daily is still preferred for us both. (Although we still average 2x a day alot, and morning is a key time for him, too lol )

Sex is great.

[–]VasiliyZaitzevTRP Senior Endorsed 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So, men are very sex-motivated, particularly in our youth - not sure that this is a secret - and thus we respond positively to positive stimuli.

Never underestimate the power of a random, no-strings-attached, blowjob, and then reap the benefits.

[–]MOSFETBJT 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You might have a reactive libido

[–]Competitive-Gas3935 20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I’m so jealous reading about this :( how I wish my man was in the mood more often.. I’m always in the mood and I’m just at his mercy to initiate ..

[–]LoveWitchXo[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

im sorry to hear that 🥺🥺

[–]Competitive-Gas3935 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

:( just gotta get used to it..

[–]cohost3 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have the same problem. It can be very devastating.

[–]Competitive-Gas3935 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Idk if my story will help but.. my partner opened up the other day and told me that he feels that I have high expectations in all aspects of our relationship and it’s worn him down overtime to the point that even areas where I don’t really expect anything feels like an expectation (so expecting to have sex when I want it).. so I’m going to work on dropping the expectation.. I don’t actually know how but I’ll start from stopping initiating and hoping and just making myself busy with other things..

[–]Livid-Mathematician3 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have your guy get his t levels checked. 1/3 of men have some kind of sex drive fall off as they get into their 30’s.

[–]eyenaobrown 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I went through this in the beginning of my relationship . I made a rule of never saying no and let’s just say my wedding is in October 🙌🏽💍 I understand we are not sex dolls or robots but we are asking men to be monogamous with us which means all his sexual energy is directed towards us if we can’t please or don’t feel like doing it we should allow them to release that energy with someone else . If you don’t want that you are going to have to fill the position full time. It helped us bond quickly in the relationship and I’ve never had to worry about him going elsewhere for it . I’m so happy for you love

[–]OilyB 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The simple machinations of human sexual/emotional biology. Right now I'm the best boyfriend ever because my gf also rarely says no. Somethings hard inside my formerly evil soul melt away further and further every year we're together. I've never been happier and neither has she.

[–]marcelmarceau1972 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great! One thing I've seen works for some couples with different libido is the 'all-day physical treatment'. I feel for us men it keeps us 'active' and focused and affectionate on our wives and helps with developing the intimacy. The 'all-day physical treatment' consists of looking for each other and holding hands, hug, being physically close to each other.

If you haven't done it, at the beginning it might feel forced, but the physical closeness 'activates us'. I was watching Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" and they show that when Esmeralda walks close to the villain, he gets all crazy about her (they depict the hair's aroma entering the guy's nose). It makes couples feel physically "connected" and the night talks can be longer and enjoyable without necessarily ending in sex. I've talked to guys, and we agree it keeps us 'hungry', it normally increases the sex in both sides, but even if you don't have sex it both still enjoy the days more.

Sex is such a lovely and extremely enjoyable way to 'glue' couples!

[–]QueenWint 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm way less affectionate than my husband. It is nice but generally, I don't care about it much and the same with nice words. So not much of a motivator haha.

[–]sadiesworld1 points [recovered] (11 children) | Copy Link

this is depressing. i personally would not sleep with someone just for them to be happy. if i don’t want to, then i don’t want to

[–]tennis_dude13 60 points61 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Are you single? Did you know that men and women view sex very differently while in a serious relationship? What if I told you that men feel way more connected to their partner if they have sexual interactions on a regular basis? Men and women are quite different. Our brains are wired differently. This isn't my opinion. It's a biological fact.

[–]No-Capital-4110 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]thepretendchristian 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sex releases some grade A oxytocin and endorphins for both parties. Don’t skip out on it just because you feel tired or not really in the mood ;)

[–]xtcj88 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh no, happiness? That sounds awful!

[–]AriesLeoSagFire79 25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can you not read? Nowhere did she say her man wasn't happy.

She said that fulfilling her man's needs and desires even more led to him also fulfilling her needs and desires even more.

[–]LoveWitchXo[S] 28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

it’s not just to make him happy, i say yes to sex because i want to even if i may not be fully in the mood is what im saying but to each their own

[–]TrueBroccoli8 47 points48 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What OP figured out is relationships are multiplication, not addition and subtraction between two people.

I want to make you feel good because when I make you feel good you make me feel good too, so I want to make you feel even better and it grows exponentially as we reinforce those bonds across multiple dimensions of our relationship.

[–]Protocol_ApolloTRP Endorsed 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone should point you for that.

[–]amadexodus 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You might want to familiarize yourself with our Wiki to better understand our attitude toward relationships, sex, and the differences between men/women.

OP said she's very happy, her SO is very happy....what's the problem?

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think everyone else has covered the issues with this comment and I'm going to remove it because this sort of selfishness in a relationship is simply not good RP advice. Please get yourself on track before you try to weigh in on people whose lives are happy.

[–]Competitive-Fun-46961 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link

congrats!! your being objectified and used! he’s getting what he wants from you so he’s rewarding u. as someone with deep psychological issues i tend to do the same thing, if someone gives me what i want ill keep talking to them. give them a call out of nowhere and check up on them when in reality, idgaf about them i just like what they give me

[–]Pickle_Juice_Can 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone is not having sex twice a day...

[–]MentalXX 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yikes Projection much.

[–]drpaugrosso 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don’t let her get to you, she’s probably just a bitter old cat lady

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's actually 15 if her post history is to be believed. I feel sad for her because she will have to do the work to shake this attitude before she can have any meaningful relationships with others.

But she's also been banned because we aren't responsible for converting the uninterested.

[–]Nodeal_reddit1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

In other news: Water is Wet

[–]CryptographerTrue499 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have been married for almost 10 years. I have never said no to sex and it is starting to get to me. Yes, he’s happy but giving him sex doesn’t mean he’s going to magically do the things you want to be happy. It’s honestly just another chore before I can unwind in the evening. I see the giving him sex whenever he wants it brought up a lot, but there doesn’t seem to be a reciprocal thing we’re telling men to do to keep their wives happy. I just wanted to chime in because I can attest that sex keeps men happy, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to also be satisfied with that arrangement.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been re-skimming Laura Doyle's First Kill All the Marriage Counselors (I believe retitled Empowered Wife) and the first couple chapters are about identifying your own desires and then bringing them up to your husband so he can make you happy.

This might be worth checking out if you are feeling like it's all giving and no receiving on your part.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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