I have been reading here for years and I always shake my head at the affirmations of young women who insist that all they want is to be a SAHM and it is so unfair that feminists have ruined it for them. The interesting thing is that many of the women who often posted about their idyllic plans for the future disappeared when the babies arrived. There was one woman, whom I respect greatly for her honesty, who came back to say how unrealistic her vision was and gave an accurate account of her new lifestyle.
I am not discouraging any woman from staying at home. I just want you to understand some truths.
It is harder than you realize.
You will need to make sacrifices in terms of your social life, finances, and yes, sometimes your personal needs.
Your husband will not be there because he will be off working to support you and if he isn’t then your life will be shit.
You may find yourself alone with no adult company for long periods of time. Your husband on the other hand will be off interacting with other people all day and when he comes home will need time to decompress and spend time with his kids. You will come last and your may begin to resent it when you are dying to go out and be with other people.
Because you spend so much of your time at home it will be easy to let your appearance slide. Your self confidence may take a hit.
And last, you may find that your financial situation has changed and you need to contribute some income to keep your ship afloat. Your options as to employment are greatly reduced.
Now that I have pointed out the detriments, I want to give some advice on how to work around them.
If you are bored and miserable staying at home full time, recognize it and do something about it. Volunteer if you don’t want to work and can afford child care. Otherwise find a job that gives you some satisfaction and works around your children’s schedule.
If money is tight, find free fun activities to get you and your kids out of the house.
Keep yourself up to date on what is going on in the world around you. It is very easy to become so distracted in your day to day that you become out of touch with the times.
Find something you are passionate about that you can own, just for yourself. Not as a wife or a mother, but just for yourself. This is essential.
Find a reason every day to put on some make-up, do your hair, and change out of your sweats even if it is just going to the grocery store.
And last, remember there are going to be some rough days when you have accomplished nothing except clean up vomit and your husband will come home and ask what is for dinner. He will have no clue why you lose your mind.
I hope this post is taken in the context that I intended. I wish those of you who decide to take this path success. I have been both a stay at home mom and a mom who worked full time.