Not infrequently will women come to RPW and discuss their weight. The community happily cites BMI and jumps down the throat of any woman claiming to be thin with an overweight BMI. This is good. No one is better off living with blinders.
It is very common for women, particularly woman in and around their 30s, to come in and say: “I’m 30-something but I really look 20-something”. This is met with silence and it’s time to take off the blinders.
Yes, some people age better than others. One of the typical RPW goals is to maximize your beauty both before and after you find a mate. There will always be a spectrum of attractiveness for any given age and your goal is to look as best you can for your age. Maybe this even means you are more attractive than some younger women. However, there will be younger women who are more attractive still and you might just be competing with them.
Additionally, by virtue of being younger, those women will look better for longer. They have a little more time ahead of them to find a man, their laugh lines and grey hairs are a little further away. Telling yourself that you are 33 but look 28 does not give you the time frame of a 28 year old. Nor will it put you on the radar of a high value 28 year old man.
And the much bigger deal is the fertility time line associated with your age. It truly doesn’t matter how good you look for your age. It gets harder to have kids as you get older. Even if it doesn’t get harder to conceive, the risks increase with maternal (and paternal) age. The number of kids you can have in the available time span will shrink. Once again, looking younger does not give you the body and timeline of a younger woman.
Finally, people around you are lying to you. Or, let’s be charitable, maybe they are just bad at judging. Going back to the BMI comparison, the typical response to “I’m so fat” is “No of course you aren’t” or “the right man will love you for you” or any other number of feel good responses. Let’s be honest with ourselves, what kind of person says: “Oh yeah…you really do look old”. Don’t trust all the people around you who say that you look 10 years younger than you actually are. They are being nice. Nice doesn’t help anyone.
Ladies, men aren’t stupid (and if you find a stupid one, do you really want to marry him?). They understand these things. Unless you plan on lying about your age, the actual number is still the actual number. When you are assessing your value and what you bring to the table, don’t leave your blinders on.