Lies we tell ourselves: I don’t look my age

vanBeethovenLudwig · 2019-03-13T07:42:47+00:00

Adding to this, I know a few women who cannot find a suitable husband or successful relationship because they refuse to accept their age.

I'm talking about the women in their mid/late-30's (sometimes a little older!) who concentrate on an external social life (partying and meeting new people), "finding themselves" (code word for career hopping, identity crisis), basically they are STILL acting like immature teenagers but they're almost 40.

Well guess what? If you don't act like you're ready to be married, then nobody will marry you! Nobody will marry a woman with a teenage mentality. Men are smart and they will choose someone who is responsible and can be a reliable partner to get through life together.

Ladies, accept your age physically AND mentally. Learn to manage stress and enjoy life without acting like a child. Own up to your responsibilities. Be disciplined. Enjoy the mature tranquility, noted screaming and dramatic teenage mentality.

Vellore992 · 2019-03-13T00:06:36+00:00

Thank you. Every time I see a woman in there saying "I'm 32 but it's ok because I'm always mistaken for a teenager" I roll my eyes.

stevierose789 · 2019-03-13T00:28:07+00:00

Other lies we tell ourselves: This serum, procedure,diet, fitness program will turn back the clock. There are no magic formulas that stave off aging. The greatest secret is managing to age gracefully. There are women who seem to have figured it out. I think it is a combination of attitude toward life and staying active. But most of all I think it is their acceptance of their age. They do their best to be attractive and then they say fuck it.

Dancersep38 · 2019-03-13T05:20:01+00:00

OMG yes! I've always looked a little bit older, even as a kid, but especially from some hard living in my early 20s. This is a particular thorn in my side as these women seem to find me on purpose or something. I'm early 30s and I very much look it. I've never understood people who fool themselves otherwise. You can be a good looking 30, but you're still every bit 30 and everyone knows that if they look for more than a minute.

I met a woman who was 40. The second she said her age it was obvious but I didn't notice at first because: I had just met her in a dark bar, dyed hair, about a pound of makeup, dressed like a 20 something and was hanging out with 20 somethings. She was the new GF of a guy in our group when we were mid 20s. It's a kind of effective "herd camouflage." I thought she was an ugly 25 but she was a great 40. She still looked 100% 40 once you actually paid any attention.

I had a filipina roommate who would go on and on about how she looked 12. Well, yes, she was small and deliberately wore children's clothing and no makeup. Again, on a fast glance maybe, but no one actually thinks you're 12.

Blue pill men and most women will tell you what you want to hear. These women almost universally lead with how young people think they look. Yes, deliberately dressing like someone a decade younger and then demanding compliments will get people to say you look young, they may even think you are young if they don't take a good look at you. No one actually thinks you're 20 though. I've never met a 40 year old and thought she was 20 for more than a fleeting moment.

Stop believing every compliment hurled your way. I'd rather look a hard 30 but with the dignity of someone acting my age than be that ridiculous grannie in a skin tight leopard print dress.

End rant!

molluscsliketoparty · 2019-03-13T13:00:44+00:00

That's true. But I did notice that with the "10 year challenge" on Facebook recently, my redpilled female friends are aging a LOT better than most other women. :-P

ChaiMacchiato · 2019-03-13T08:51:38+00:00

"Telling yourself you are 33 but look 28 does not give you the time frame of a 28 yes old." Should be in bold and all caps!

As a long time lurker all I have to add is the wall will still be there to fight after marriage and kids if you want those things. It's not going anywhere 😂 Good news is beauty, medicine, and science advancements have come a long way. There are no robo-waifu options widely available for having kids if you're a man though, so actual youth and fertility matter.

As a 38 year old married mom of 2 I'll also add that some of the best anti aging options aren't the best for your childbearing years. For example hormones. Mine are in normal range, but I get a boost to put me at the upper levels to make my gym/diet efforts pay off as easily as possible. I was told it's not an option for potentially expecting moms and had to fill in my bc method before doing it. Also getting rid of refluxing veins before they're visible or become varicose veins. Not worth it with all the vascular activity pregnancy involves.

Battle the wall later, relying on genetics is a potential complacency trap. If hotness doesn't align with reality, reality wins more often than not.

platypus_nebula · 2019-03-13T19:27:51+00:00

At 27, I noticed it's getting more and more difficult to pull off youthful looks. My skin just needs more attention than it did a few years ago. I can pull off being clocked as 21-22, but only with at least over an hour of skincare and makeup prep, whereas when I was actually 22 I could just roll out of bed and splash water on my face and use a couple makeup products.

A lot of women put in the same amount of effort nearing 30 as they did when they were in thier teens/early twenties not realizing beauty related upkeep reaches hard mode beyond a certain point. I'm talking daily sunscreen, multi-step skincare routines, and perfected makeup technique. Whoever said beauty is pain is totally correct. Women need to keep upping thier game as they age to achieve similar results as younger women.

[deleted] · 2019-03-13T17:35:01+00:00

Helen Mirren and Judi Dench both look their age. It's not about how old you look, it's about wearing it gracefully.

LookingForEquanimity · 2019-03-13T00:52:48+00:00

Ah shoot so I really do look 30. Not that that's a bad thing persay but I liked hearing from someone at work he thought I was the same age as his daughter (25). cue eye roll. Oh well. Better I hear this sooner than later. Thank you.

Theflowerswillbloom · 2019-03-13T02:41:37+00:00

Thank you for this post, I've quietly thought it before myself as well - but as I'm not a particularly experienced poster here, I've never wanted to be the first person to say it.

I did used to look younger than my age, as in, people thought my sister 4 years younger was my older sister. Then I had children, and the tiredness has aged me a little, so now I look about the age I actually am haha. It's okay.

Hammocknapping · 2019-03-13T02:37:38+00:00

And the much bigger deal is the fertility time line associated with your age.

Not having your worth defined by your fertility, is a very freeing feeling. Unless you have fertility testing done before you get married, you don’t really know what you’re in for. Two of the healthiest, fittest, most youthful looking women I know are totally infertile and looking into adoption in their mid-20s.

I think a more reasonable goal is to try and be the top tier in your agre group.

[deleted] · 2019-03-13T07:53:07+00:00

Amen

mydogwillbeinmyheart · 2019-04-25T04:31:15+00:00

I've definitely seen people who look younger and NOT because they dress, act, talk like a child/adolescent.
I do think older people 50+ tend not to guess younger people age right though. They usually guess a lower number.

But I insist, although they are a small percentage, I have seen ladies who are blessed by their genetics because they honestly don't look their age.

bubblegina359 · 2019-03-13T03:26:38+00:00

this had to be said! amen

Zegiknie · 2019-03-13T08:03:03+00:00

I don't believe you. I used to be mistaken for younger up until very recently, and I don't think it was people trying to be nice.

Examples of instances that weren't my idea of a compliment:

Getting checked out for lump in breast. Standard procedure was first ultrasound, then mammogram if you're over 30. I was 32, ultrasound looked good and doctor was like "okay all good byebye". Didn't check out my info, just assumed I was younger. Had to come back when they were wrapping up the paperwork and noticed.

Chatting with strangers when walking around with baby, and they started asking how my parents felt about it and if I had finished school. I was 28 when I had my first, and this happened 3 times.

Having to show ID when I bought some groceries with wine in my late twenties and early thirties.

I am a few months older than my husband, and he always looked old for his age. People have given him crap about dating someone much younger, too. Asked him if it was even legal until my late twenties.

Since shortly after baby number two, all that changed. But I am not convinced by your post. I also had a lot of "whaaaat? I thought you were (age minus 10)", and I get that such comments aren't reliable. But the kind of things I described above - nah, I just have a babyface. A droopy babyface by now, but yeah.

Edit to add: babyface and easy conceiving (first try always) runs in the family, so I do think there is a link there, too.

loneliness-inc · 2019-03-13T13:56:04+00:00

Very nice piece.

artsyluna · 2019-03-13T17:11:52+00:00

Well a middle aged trucker hit on me by telling me I look like I'm in high school so..... xD

aussiedollface2 · 2019-03-14T02:43:33+00:00

Such a good post! And totally true. All we can hope for is to look the absolute best we can for our age. I spend a lot of time and money and energy on my appearance and health, but I sure as hell don’t look like I did when I was 19yo. Also many people, particularly men, have asked and guessed my age at work and they always say about 6-8 years younger, but I’m not stupid and I know that this is people trying to be polite and flatter me.xo

HoloWiseWolf · 2019-03-13T02:15:12+00:00

I disagree with the BMI. I am considered on the line of overweight and obese with a BMI of 30 (idr the exact number I'm 160lbs and 5'1".) . My waist is 29 inches and my hips are 36. I have found taking pictures and measurements are a way more accurate measurement for weight loss progress. I have more muscle mass then average which makes my BMI higher and while there are weeks where the scale won't move much I can see the difference in my progress pictures.

r2401 · 2019-03-14T02:29:58+00:00

A few rare people really don't look their age though.

Jennifer Lopez

Title	Lies we tell ourselves: I don’t look my age
Author	girlwithabike
Upvotes	98
Comments	78
Date	March 12, 2019 11:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/lies-we-tell-ourselves-i-dont-look-my-age.221742 https://theredarchive.com/post/221742
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/b0f1nx/lies_we_tell_ourselves_i_dont_look_my_age/