(*Intimidated, sorry I’m on mobile.)
Ever hear that phrase? It’s very common in the mainstream view these days.
We’ve debunked it here before, but thought it could do with more discussion.
I don’t believe this statement to be true, that men are intimidated by smart women.
I do believe that men in general are not turned on by contrarian, argumentative, prideful women. Which is all too common these days among women who proclaim themselves smart.
I know I always had good grades, but I had to unlearn this “points for speaking up, even if you have nothing good to say” lesson. I was always critiqued in school for only talking in class when I had something to say.
The idea of intelligence these days is often linked with cutthroat competition, corporate climbing, debating and shutting down the opposition, mic drop, etc.
Being that competitive isn’t conducive to love or friendships.
Intelligence as valued by mainstream culture also is divorced from life wisdom, street smarts so to speak.
I’m certain men are very much interested in women who are practical and can handle life well, making wise choices that make things easier for the family.
So far cry from sitting in an ivory tower insulting people’s intellect. Imagine having a PhD but no idea how to be frugal, negotiate, or judge character.
As you can see, the modern idea of intelligence is divorced from femininity.
Think of a stereotype like a sexy nurse, librarian, or secretary. Men are clearly aroused by these roles that all require being very smart. But what they share in common is feminine demeanor. Nurses nurture, librarians assist, secretaries are helping a superior, traditionally male in the stereotype.
So I think men are not in fact turned off by smarts. They are turned off by aggressive competitive arguing, or intellectual pride showing off but detached from being a woman. Would you want to be friends with anyone like that? You might read their blog, but hang out with them? In fact several studies say that men admire that intellectual quality from a distance, but not up close and personal.
Men also don’t require intelligence as a top priority the way women require in men.
So, being smart is no excuse for trouble with men.
The good news also is that if you have areas where you aren’t as smart, (I know I do,) it’s not a dealbreaker for most guys. And if you’re smart, you don’t have to hide it, just don’t make that your main personality trait; be agreeable, and don’t assume your intellect is going to impress him the way respect and femininity would.
Edits for typos.
Edit: I fully support competition in fun things like arcades or board game dates.