Men are not made of porcelain

I will start by saying that in today's climate, us women are encouraged to criticise or even "train" our men. Women brag about making their man cook and clean, everybody is outraged if some woman asks for her husband's permission to do something, and so on. It is emasculating and toxic to relationships. Most men are hard-working individuals who stomach shitty bosses and histerical clients all day and the last thing they need is for their SO to scold them for leaving a dirty plate on the desk.

The feminine way to solve issues is to be non-confrontational and diplomatic. Kindness and sweetness de-escalates problems and makes peace. In her book, "The Surrendered Wife", Laura Doyle points out that constant criticism for irrelevant issues drives away romance and initimacy in a relatioinship. We can do the laundry ourselves and pick up the dirty socks from the floor without complaining about it, for our SO's who remembers to bring us flowers after their 10/12 hour work day. A positive, calm and loving attitude will make our men want to please us even more, while complaining and demanding will make them bitter and leave us unsatisfied.

But ...

I see a lot of women here asking for advice who seem straight-up afraid of tellig their men they have made a mistake! I see women hiding how upset their are, shielding their SOs from their emotions, dancing around the subject and raking their brains to find a way to speak their mind. We talk to our friends or to internet strangers, trying to find the best possible wording so that we do not seem critical, mean, emotional, ungrateful, etc. Stop.

Men are not these brittle creatures who crack when faced with simple and honest criticism. Men do not spend an entire day going back over their words when they receive a snarky comment. That's us, women. Men don't get offended and they don't pout. They're not like ourselves, our mothers or our girlfriends., their frame of mind is not like our frame of mind. They have a special type of honor and dignity that makes them want to be responsable and own up their mistakes. They hate being told what to do, but them apologising now and then to their wife or girlfriend does not chip away at their self worth.

Men love and want agreeable women, but that doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything all the time. They can handle being told when they are disrespectful or hurtful. Men want and love emotionally stable women, but they accept if we cry once a year and they expect us to be more emotional than them. You don't have to shield them from the negative feelings they gave you like you do with children. You don't have to carefully craft your words because they will interpret them like your female colleagues do. They won't cry in their room after a confrontation, listening to sad music.

By no means do I endorse bossing your man around, forcing him to apologise or lashing out at him. Be simple and honest, but speak your mind, say what your issue is and hold your head up straight. Your man won't fall off the shelf and shatter.