~ archived since 2018 ~

Men are trash.

July 31, 2020

Alright. Since when did this become an okay thing to say? My girlfriends say it like it’s no big deal. They laugh about how much they hate men and say “hahaha I’d be lesbian if I could, men are trash, men ain’t sh*t”. They don’t say it often but when it comes up, they go off - swearing, insulting.

Does anyone else feel this pain in their heart when they hear that? Like, I have such respect for men. The responsibilities and expectations and judgments placed on them in this day and age are immense. Men shouldn’t just have a job to provide for their entire family - they’re expected to cook and clean too, because it’s considered sexist for that to be the primary role of the woman. And their mental health levels are so much lower than ours, and they die prematurely compared to us women too. If anything, they need more assistance.

But no. Here are women who think that saying “men are trash” is a joke and that women are superior. Let me just say this - I’d be in a whole lot of trouble if I said “women are trash” to anyone. Women aren’t trash. But neither are men.

Men are strong. They’re resilient, persistent. Responsible. Kind. Gentle. Sensitive and deserving of the utmost respect and love.

Why do we (other girls) treat men like they’re nothing? Why do we think it’s okay to bash men like this in private? Is this really ‘empowerment’? Is this really what building women up looks like? Or are we just tearing down men instead?

And most importantly: how do we respond when people tell us these sorts of things? I find it easiest to just laugh along and act half-offended but I’m really getting sick of it now. I have guy friends and they are not trash, they’re some of the kindest human beings I’ve ever known. And I hate that I laugh along with my girlfriends who say that men are trash, just to avoid any conflict. I want to change, and I think more of us need to speak up when we encounter this behaviour.

Men are not trash. Men are brilliant.

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Post Information
Title Men are trash.
Author squideye62
Upvotes 471
Comments 124
Date July 31, 2020 6:09 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]missylizzy 121 points122 points  (32 children) | Copy Link

I used to be one of those woman. The truth was I went after all the wrong men. There are great men out there but most of us are chasing the wrong thing? Why? I have theories but maybe another time.

The sad part is that I'm pregnant. Not sure if girl or boy yet but imagine me raising a boy with this mindset?!

[–]Mewster18185 Star 49 points50 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, I see this mindset in various pregnancy forums and it genuinely breaks my heart for the baby boys who are going to be subjected to it. Or even just the women who are constantly bad mouthing their partners, talk about how emotionally they hate them now, etc... I really detest those posts, but I see them regularly... there's absolutely no appreciation for the fathers by these women, also if you hate them so much why did you actively try for a baby(through most of their own admissions)?

I personally never really thought much about men vs women, but I do remember my mom thought the "boys are stupid throw rocks at them" shirts and things were funny when I was 12-13 years old. So I know that the idea that you can trash talk men and boys has been around at least 15 years, and many people have no issue with it.

Also congrats on the baby! I'm due in March, what about you? :)

[–]missylizzy 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Congrats to you too! January! : )

[–]Mewster18185 Star 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yay for winter babies!

[–]pseudochristiankinda 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You really don’t know what’s going on in those relationships in the privacy of their homes, so you don’t know, they could be garbage ass losers.

[–]Mewster18185 Star 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Right, but if so why choose to get pregnant with them? A lot of the women complaining are also open about the fact it was a planned pregnancy.

[–]pseudochristiankinda 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well really though people change unfortunately, and having a child can definitely change someone for the good or bad.

[–]Mewster18185 Star 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure... but I assure you that's not the case with the vast majority of the women who are complaining.

I literally see "he's trying but I just don't care anymore" or "how dare he ask me questions or want any input" or "he got advice from the other fathers at work and I hate all the advice". Most of it is really just misandry, and it's so commonplace that people don't even step back and consider that by their own admission their partners are trying and have no way to read minds about why their spouse is unhappy with them.

[–]Sean02281986 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

A man is as good as how his mother raised him. Let that sink in. All the men who are messed up come from women who didn't raise them right. Do women create uncles by raising them that way?

[–]Mewster18185 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think anyone's parents can mess them up emotionally and mentally. But I also think that as adults we have the ability and responsibility to fix ourselves and not to keep blaming our parents. That doesn't mean the mother is blameless, but it's still his fault if he continues to make poor choices and behave in bad ways as he gets older.

Same is true for women, my mother is severely mentally ill and I did not have a good upbringing... but I still hold myself to high standards and address my issues like the responsible adult I am.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

what are your theories?

[–]missylizzy 40 points41 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

So from a Christian perspective. Note, I was not always Christian, and second, even if you are not Christian you can see these things happening.

The family unit is being broken down. That is plain to see. More divorces. More single parents. Good or bad? You decide. Personally, I believe any child struggles without a strong family unit. In a Christian sense, I definitely believe a strong household is of the utmost importance.

Society has moved further and further away from any sense of God. More and more identify as atheists. In Christianity, there were clear guidelines given for a household. For men and women. Did you know the Bible says it is worse for a man to leave his family than it is to not believe? By the way, I can cite everything here, but I am writing fast.

Now I know there is controversy about the submissive of women in the Bible. However, I'm sure, here, many will see truth to it. Submissiveness is not about slavery or abuse. In fact, the Bible says men should love women as Christ loved the church.

So what exactly happened? Well on a spiritual level, if you were Satan, what could you destroy that reflects God? The family and the gender roles. Those have been greatly twisted.

On top of that, this has created great division between men and women. MGTOW is a great example of this. I did get banned from there, but I see their points. At the same time, women have grown disillusioned with men.

There is literally a war on family. Even if you do not believe in Satan, you probably see this daily in the media. You can see the constant attack on the family unit and traditional gender roles.

I am willing to clarify anything.

[–]Perseus_the_Bold 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a shift in economics and political theory. Feminism wanted women in the workplace because their backers were students of Marxism. Their goal is to dismantle the family leaving their children vulnerable to cultural indoctrination while the parent have little to no say in their social development by not being there for it.

Once women entered the workforce that meant that there are now twice as many workers, and with twice the workforce you get half the wages because employers can now afford to fire and hire anyone at their leisure due to the surplus of labor. This created the modern condition where it takes two paychecks just to make ends meet which further aggravates the situation with the family unit as now both parents are required to work and thus have to divide their time between paid labor and domestic duty.

Women's submissiveness is seen as a further burden on modern men instead of an invitation of her trusting love and service to him. Men feel that a woman's submission is just another responsibility for him, that he is now legally, financially, and socially accountable for her. This is why a growing number of men are unwilling to accept even women's docile submission because they feel it is a trap. This is where the MGTOW phenomena is coming from - among other reasons. The only men still willing to accept a submissive woman are those who have no qualms with using and exploiting her: men who are less interested in loving her and more on using her for his own advantage or sexual satisfaction.

Satan is a master at sowing discord. Remember that he literally used Eve's love for Adam to murder both of them. He killed them with their love. Eve gave the fruit to Adam because she believed that it was good, and wanted to share it with him. Had she truly grasped the severity of the poison of sin she would have realized the fruit would kill her husband and would instead hide it from him. If it had instantaneously opened her eyes to knowledge of good and evil she would have become ambitious or spiteful and thus have given the fruit to Adam in order to sabotage him. But she didn't. She believed in her heart she was being affectionate, she wanted to share what she thought was a good thing. You can imagine why god was immensely angry and vengeful against Satan. This was an eternally despicable thing to do, to kill them using their love, turning them into enemies whereas god deliberately created them for no other purpose than to share each other with himself: The very first family was God, Adam, and Eve; a true mirror of the Trinity.

Through sin Man became as alienated from the Woman as both became alienated from God. Just because God is God does not mean he doesn't experience grief. And only God himself can remedy such an immense evil, the rest of us have to just ride it out and follow the example he set with Jesus as best as we can and remain weary of the fact that the first murder is still out there putting daggers in our hands and whispering duplicitous malice in our ear just as he did with our first mother.

If you are interested in a deeper Christian perspective check out the biblical concepts of Sin and Love.

[–]virtuostranger 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is an old article but I think it mirrors what you said:

I kind of know about this even before this article, when I watched Christy0Misty's "In Defense of Men" series way back on youtube, but back then a lot of people think its conspiracy theories and such. Now I don't know how people don't see it it's right in front of our faces, when we don't have strong families, we don't have strong communities and strong societies and we fragment. I hope more people can see this and understand what you said.

Another article here is less so about destruction of the family but how girls at school use different tactics to try to remove a boy from the school its really disgusting. Just mirroring what OP said about how some women call men trash and think thats ok.

[–]missylizzy 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for this!

Somebody just said I was "batshit crazy" but taking out all the Christian elements like people cannot deny that family structure/gender roles have been/are being destroyed.

Some find it to be a good thing. They find family and gender roles antiquated and unnecessary.

Personally, I did not see the issues until I reflected on my terrible family life, as well as twisted gender roles.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

how do you think you ended up "chasing the wrong thing"?

[–]missylizzy 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was blinded by what society told me I should want and should be.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Society and the degregation of the family. Satan is the leader of this world, so now we have shit like BLM and organizations telling people they are racist if they aren't against nuclear families.

[–]Wolfssenger 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The "death of God" is to blame for much of the rot that afflicts the West. Religious atheists love to quote Nietzsche's sister's misinterpretations as some sort of big brain power punch against religion. When Nietzsche declared God "dead" it was out of despair for what lie ahead for mankind without a fear of eternal justice.

Either way, well put.

[–]Eugenius666 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nietzsche's sister was anti-semitic and really scewed her brother's work in that direction after his death, making it prime pickings for the Nazis. There was no despair in Nietzsche when he declared the death of God. It was jubilation for those you could find strength in the freedom that the death of God brings ...but despair for those who cannot fathom life without the concept of God and thus remain shackled to the past.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]missylizzy 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sounds fake

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s not.

[–]missylizzy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]missylizzy 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well they are mostly spiritual. Still interested?

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]missylizzy 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Replied : )

[–]Wolfssenger 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Let's hear it. They can only be evaluated after they've been heard.

[–]saleh7908880[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you please share with us the theories because I am really interested in it.

In case you don’t feel like sharing your theory in public then I would like to know it in private if possible.

God bless

[–]missylizzy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did reply to the other comment of one of my theories : )

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The sad part is that I'm pregnant. Not sure if girl or boy yet but imagine me raising a boy with this mindset?!

My mother has this mindset, and it has only become clear to me these last few years; She's a misandrist under the guise of feminism. She's always paid special attention to the girls, while showing a bias against the guys in my family. It's not just her either; it's most women on the side of her family.

To be clear, I'm not against feminism.

[–]Runningdisciple 55 points56 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh this gets on my nerves so much!

What I do is try to bring the argument down to tangible things and ask for examples. So they’ll say something like “they’re cheaters (exes), liars (fathers), rapists (some college frat in the news), disgusting, manipulative and get away with it” to which I respond “women do that as well” and then go on to make concrete examples of women “being trash” and men being awesome. I try to come across as kind and understanding cause they’re truly just victims of feminism and past hurt. So I go on and show them, in love, that our experiences are subjective and we make conclusions from that. I speak about my father who was a great man and the pastor of my church who is also amazing. I have huge respect for both of them and make sure its noticeable in my speech. It never ends in “convincing” them, but I think it plants a seed.

[–]sg_1996 21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hi there, thank you for sharing! I can totally agree with your line of thought as I have been in both sides of the coin.

While I was in school, the girls from my school and I would meet up once a month to socialize and talk about random topics off school; the first and last time I attended, I experienced feminism hate towards men multiplied by 9 girls; according to this girls, men do not have the slightest idea what any woman is capable of doing, they do not appreciate us at all, they are cold-blooded humans that come to this world to hurt and destroy anything that gets in their way, and a bunch of other senseless "facts" that made me not want to meet ever again with them.

I have been heart-broken as well, and even though the pain has been ughhh ugly, (and I don't intent to find excuses in favor of heartless men), I understand that we are in a toxic society as a whole, men are taught that they need to be rough, and even in some families, it is wrong for men to show their feelings to a woman, but I could say the same thing about some women, we are taught the wrong things that turn many women into a mean, manipulative person.

Sadly, some of those believes got engrained in me without realizing it. I am in a stable relationship now and so far, I can say I found my prince, he has erased every negative belief I had of men, for example, he watched a romantic comedy movie with me and I was shocked that he'd even suggest that movie (because I had never seen it before), so I slipped a comment like: "I can't believe you saw this movie before" and he answered to me that "men also have feelings" (I felt embarrassed cause no one in my family taught me that, and I just believed it for a long time). We did have some rough times, but love overcame them. He is a wonderful man and I feel proud to be with him.

This is what I believe, and I am not saying I am right; men have feelings, some men just weren't taught how to handle them, but with the right tools, I believe men can learn how to manage them. We also have feelings, but some women also don't know how to use them for good or express them without fear of getting hurt. For a relationship to work, both parts need to provide value, and by value I don't mean criticism like some of us do or did, I understand we women have the tendency to turn into an early version of our mother, but after your significant half leave their parents house, they do not miss their mother's nagging to get into a relationship that reminds them the nagging; when I say value, we women need to take care of ourselves, the same way, your other significant half is taking care of oneself. Contribute into the relationship like your significant half is doing it as well. Men are strong, so they have a better ability to carry-on with difficult tasks that usually women could not do. Women are a different type of strong, but we definitely had some luck (bad and good one); bad because at some point in history, we could not study, become a professional and vote; good luck when millions of our gender (not as much females) did not die in warfare like men did protecting our homes. So men and women had both disadvantages and our fair share of impact and advantages in this world

One of our duties as individuals is to appreciate, value, give thanks and praise (a little bit) your significant other's effort, because those little details make you and your half appreciate the relationship and it's an esteem-booster. Love yourself the way you are, so you can learn how to love others, pursue the best version of yourself so you can contribute to society (if you think about it, we come to this world as a work-in-progress, improving ourselves so we can improve society) and appreciate the little things, because those will make the difference. It is okay to fail 10010000 times (lol, a lot of times), but the world has not ended, so every extra second of life we get, it is another opportunity to try again. Try, as hard as you can, to not let hurt and hatred shape the way you think or act, because there is a lot of hateful people already to add a plus+1 more, into this world. When someone hurts you or do not appreciate you, it is okay to walk away, it is not your loss, IT IS THEIR LOSS, you are a beautiful person and somewhere in this world there is someone meant to value you for who you are.

I could keep going with my rambling, but I believe I said enough already, so that is my input into this topic

[–]venetiaphair18 points [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

Thank you!! I made a post recently of telling a date that I don’t believe in all that stuff, saying men are trash and that you shouldn’t trust them. It was the first time he heard a girl not just go off talking crap about men. It effects men hearing it so much more than we might expect and it’s so sad, not that the feminists would really care... I’ll never forgive feminism for that because literally where would we be without men? Sure, there are bad men just like there are bad women, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say true masculinity is one of the best things to exist in our society lol. We’d be lost without it.

[–]squideye62 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah yes, it was a lovely post! I responded too with a similar situation I’d been in on a date as well. It’s crazy how many of these men haven’t been shown appreciation.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]venetiaphair1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

Rule number 5 🙄I said what I meant to say

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]venetiaphair1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe stick to the subreddits that wanna talk about feminism with you then ☺️ because this one says in the rules that it’s anti feminism and no one here is interested in being preached to.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]TheLemming 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For a post-bedtime rant this is amazing, I'd like to personally thank your eyelids for begrudgingly staying peeled open so you could write this!

[–]kcur42 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't self identify as a feminist, or a liberal for that matter. But I am a 17 year old female.

I wasn't taught that all men are the perpetrators, but I did learn through experience that I am a victim. And I will not stop being a victim until the constant harassment ends. This is an -everyone- issue. Not you vs the liberal feminists. Not women vs all men. Semantics out of the way, I believe the term was created as a response to the cultural disregard of consent. I have never seen it used in another way.

[–]WhatIsThisAccountFor4 Star 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Women that say men are trash and believe it are trashy women. Some women say it as a joke but will get infinitely more offended when they hear men say “women are thots” or “all women are the same”.

The truth is that everyone has had at least one bad experience with someone the opposite sex. If you consistently have bad experiences with the opposite sex, then you need to start looking internally.

Generally, anyone that believes that everyone else is the problem is usually the source of the problem.

[–]Banincoming 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"If you go outside, and you meet an asshole, you met an asshole. If you go outside and everyone you meet are assholes, you're the asshole" - Justified

[–]anonkcthtk 19 points20 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I agree but one thing confuses me. When men have daughters they say men are trash. They drill it into our heads to keep our guard up, how to protect ourselves from being raped by ANY man we come across, not to be alone with them, that they’re dogs, “I know what they’re thinking” all of that. How come fathers do this? It seems like they believe men are trash?

[–]i_cri_evry_tim 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some men are trash. Just like some snakes are venomous.

The wisest course of action is to take precautions as if the snake in front of you was venomous. Even if it is not. Until you have enough knowledge to be able to tell the venomous ones from the rest.

Men (and women) give this advice to their teen daughters, not to grown women. Because it is safe to assume that a girl can’t tell the good boys from the bad ones at 15.

[–]ManguZa1 Star 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's just bad advice. You should advice you children to be careful about toxic people, men AND women, and not generalize to any sex.

[–]HappilyMrs 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So you treat every person like they might be venomous. That doesn't change interactions with men. However, women are at much higher risk of rape and murder from men than they are from women. You would display extra caution with an adder over a corn snake.

[–]ManguZa1 Star 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And people are at much higher risk of any psychological violence from women than they are from men, which destroy lives all the same, and are more common. It's not an adder vs a corn snake, it's more like black adder vs puff adder.

[–]skizzum97 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you are truly red pilled you should fully understand the reason why fathers bring their daughters up this way. Good men know what bad men are capable of, as well as what negative influence can do to people. They want their daughters to be cautious and selective of the men they interact with (high value).

[–]anonkcthtk 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’m ever learning

[–]skizzum97 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Think of how protective the typical man is of his partner. How protective they get when an orbiter appears. With a man's daughter it's a whole other level of protectiveness. I think it's a good trait for a father to have.

[–]anonkcthtk 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. If they thought most men were good they wouldn’t be so worried about their female loved ones out and about around males

[–]kcur42 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's probably really fucking terrifying to raise daughters for that very reason. I actually wasn't persuaded to think about men in a specific way, not this heavily. I think I learned it, as a defense mechanism. I believe it is a necessary one.

[–]uweremermaid4me 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish I could like this 100 more times because this is so accurate. My father is like this. “I am a man. I know how they think”.

[–]tolstushki701 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I noticed that most women who treat men like that were raised by single feminist mothers. Go on Instagram and type: womenare and then type: menare And see what pops up. I honestly think all these problems we have today are the result of mainly children being raised by single parents. Part of the American modern culture is to blame others for their failures and take no responsibility for their own actions, especially with women I notice this a lot. I think social media and mainstream media are brainwashing women to a point they can’t think on their own anymore. They take everything for granted. What we are also lacking is good education system, and I’ll stress again how you brought up is very important. If you are used to hearing “your father is a piece of s*** and all other men too” you’ll start subconsciously believing in it even if you don’t consciously accept it. There are really bad men out there, I am a man and I know that, but I think they only make up a small percentage of the entire population. I also think the reason most women go after bad men is because they have mental unresolved problems or their dads were bad men and they never got validation from their father. This new paradigm of “men are trash” can actually turn good men into bad men, only time will tell and results can be devastating. If you treat your husband like he is a piece of trash and your kids see it, they will internalize it and see it as “normal” and eventually will treat their partners the same way, because they never saw what is normal and what is not.

[–]mhandanna 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Children whose fathers spend time playing with them at a very early age may find it easier to control their behaviour and emotions, which has a beneficial impact as they get older and start school, according to a new study from Cambridge.

No one ones to address the elephant in the room:

  • 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)
  • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.  (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
  • 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
  • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Center for Disease Control)
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (National Principals Association Report)

Father Factor in Education – Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

  • Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracucricular activities.
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.
  • 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
  • 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
  • 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
  • 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]
  • 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]
  • 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
  • 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]
  • 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]
  • 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]
  • Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]

[–]strawberrybananaemma 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Two of my best friends are this way. So much so I never know what to say to defend my own views, I’m just kinda mortified. A few days ago one of them was telling me their tattoo plan. And in complete seriousness is getting “kill all men” in the game of thrones language on her forearm idk what the language is called but I was stunned. Even makes me rethink our relationship. The hardest part is not saying anything to them about it because I feel like I’m betraying all the men in my life who have only been so good to me. So I really. reaaaalllly feel you on this one.

[–]ManguZa1 Star 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just tell them, it's not a real friendship if you can't call on them when they're sexist.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I think people talk this way after they've been hurt. Or when they are terrified of being hurt. I mean, obviously it's silly and destructive, but I wouldn't read too much into it or take it too seriously. It's just a way of dealing with pain. Look at the way some men talk about women -- they can be very negative too.

[–]TheLemming 17 points18 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I think in a way you're right, it should definitely not be taken personally, and it's definitely coming from a place of perceived hurt. But if I perceived myself being hurt by Jews and said things like "all Jews are sh*t".. you see how that's dangerous? I think it's the same here. So I just want to caution you about minimizing the impact here just because you're totally correct about their origins.

[–]kcur42 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

But Jewish people face scrutiny for their religion and have immense historical trauma. Men aren't marginalized, nor do they face persecution in remotely similar ways. I don't think that is a fair comparison.

[–]TheLemming 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Strange thing to hear as a Jewish male. Anyways you're missing the point, I'm not comparing the two, rating their levels of victimhood against each other. I'm pointing out the danger of letting hatred against a certain group be expressed and fester in the minds of a different group.

[–]kcur42 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

agreed. because then it becomes systemic. <

[–]LiveFree1773 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well now youre talking about a group that has real institutional power. Good luck having a life after saying something like that.

[–]lstpt 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Jews have institutional power but men don’t?

[–]LiveFree1773 -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wont tell you one way or another, but i will tell you how one could theoretically test this. First say "all men are trash" post it to all your social media. Then do the same, only saying "all jews are trash". After you have done this compare your results and draw your own conclusions.

[–]silkswan808 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah yes, because Mel Gibson doesn’t have a career any more. Totally holds weight

[–]squideye62 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re right. There’s one girlfriend I’m referring to in particular, and she just broke up with her maybe-boyfriend/situationship a few months ago. He wasn’t putting in enough effort so she was mad and started badmouthing him. Awkward because he’s a mutual friend but the two of us are closer than I am with him. But yeah, this definitely rings true. Just sounds like she’s in pain.

[–]RubyWooToo3 Stars 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have the same response to people who say that as to incels who say women are trash... if you can’t get along with half the population, the problem is you not them.

And if a large portion of a generation of men raised by single mothers is poorly adapted for life in polite society, then maybe the problem isn’t men at all.

[–]NoSexMonk 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you, in my life ive never seen a women makin a positive statements on men.

[–]uweremermaid4me 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

People hang out with like minded people.

[–]kafka123 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men are not brilliant. Men are not trash. Women are not brilliant. Women are not trash.

People who yell "you're ugly" at random strangers in the street are trash.

[–]_Em1ly 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Truth is, this "division" between both genders is hurting everybody.
I had a peek at FDS and it's just so, so hateful. I mean, if you switch the words "men" with "women" and vice-versa, you can get some literal Incel/MGTOW stuff. We should have a subreddit in the same style of /r/menkampf/
Nobody deserves to be disrespected because of their gender, there's so much stuff that divides and hurts us, such as religion, politics, race, social class and etc, now gender? I just wish that these men and women changed as people, obviously they don't think this way because they think it's "the right thing", they think this way because they feel safe in the group they have found themselves on. I can understand why some men may end up like Misogynists for the same reason some womem may become Misandrists. Life is hard, indeed, but hating an entire group because of a few insatisfactions in life is unhealthy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think society used to hold men to a very high standard, that's what traditional masculinity is to me. The idea of toxic masculinity, I think, comes from the men who fail to achieve that high standard and make up for it by overtly aggressive and/or arrogant behavior.

I think women should also be held to a high standard, which traditional femininity represents. Some things are shared, some things are gender specific. Taking responsibility for your actions. Controlling your emotions. Maintaining your dignity and integrity in all situations. These are all shared standards.

Being able to physically protect the people who are weaker than you, people you love. Taking risks and accepting the consequences with dignity. Having to make difficult decisions for your family. These are things I relate more with masculinity and honestly are things I don't think I would be able to do except perhaps in very extreme situations. Leading is a huge responsibility. I'm an intelligent and competent person and take pride in producing high quality products. But I'm no leader. I have huge respect and admiration for any man who can live up to that standard.

I completely agree with a previous commenter who said that the disruption of family units is a huge mistake and a failure of western societies. And sadly I think in a lot of cases "trashy men" are a result of the influence of trashy women. Women are largely unaware of the huge emotional influence we have on men, especially mothers on their sons, and that's extremely dangerous. The right woman can help a good man be a great man, and the wrong woman can ruin him.

Men and women are different. We are supposed to work together and complement each other. I don't understand how saying that any gender is trashy helps the situation. And it's most definitely not true...

[–]sivisamarii 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I haaaaaate when women say this.

The most hilarious thing is that lots of my friends will tell me, “oh you don’t get it, you’re really close with your Dad and your little brother.” What it shows me that it’s not based on reality- it just reveals lot of pain and flippancy coming from total lack of exposure to the amazing, young men out there today; and lack of good male role models in their lives.

[–]lunalamoon 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But....I love men 😭

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see this waaay too often on social media like Facebook and Instagram. I remember there was a facebook group, “I miss the time when men went off to war and never came back” like what the heck?!? Then there’s men who are creating groups to counter that, its turned into a battle of the sexes. It’s so sad to see and everytime I see a woman comment “men ain’t sh*t” it makes me wonder what the world has come to where this is considered humour 😔

[–]-MrPornFlakes- 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes I as a male understand your pain. People need to understand that some people are trash and some of them happen to be men. (Not to blame every one belonging to the generation) but I think that was a millennial thing. Boomer generation women did not speak much and gen z females atleast that I know emphasize with male counter parts and see them as allies.

[–]gafsagirl[🍰] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What both feminists and misogynists fail to realize is the fact that most people, men or women, aren't /good/. Meeting a genuinely good person is much more rare than it seems. Man's nature has good and bad sides, just like woman's does...And in the end, it's a very much individual thing that depends on many other factors. I'm never gonna go around and say how grateful I am for men when there are probably millions of openly disgustingly evil men. Same goes to women. The gender debate was always stupid from the beginning because it's absolutely pointless lol

[–]retal1ator 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men are strong. They’re resilient, persistent. Responsible. Kind. Gentle. Sensitive and deserving of the utmost respect and love.

Thank you!

Why do we (other girls) treat men like they’re nothing? Why do we think it’s okay to bash men like this in private?

Because women live in a society where their whole needs are fulfilled by the state with a strong contribution by men, but often not in a direct way. They just never see the work it took and it still takes to maintain society and provide. Therefore, they think men are useless because they don't even realize how much they give for granted.

Is this really ‘empowerment’? Is this really what building women up looks like? Or are we just tearing down men instead?

This is total insanity. It's literal insanity.

how do we respond when people tell us these sorts of things? I find it easiest to just laugh along and act half-offended but I’m really getting sick of it now. I have guy friends and they are not trash, they’re some of the kindest human beings I’ve ever known. And I hate that I laugh along with my girlfriends who say that men are trash, just to avoid any conflict. I want to change, and I think more of us need to speak up when we encounter this behaviour.

When they say these things, you should jokingly remind them that without men none of them would have what they have today. You could say "hahaha yeah men are trash, even tho without them we wouldn't be able to X or Z". Hope that helps make you feel better.

[–]noodlespicy 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have only one friend who I can always complain to whenever I see women blaming all men for their problems when really, they probably just met one man that was bad to them or a few of them. All the rest truly believe that "all men bad" and the more alarming thing is that sometimes it's the girls who have had almost no experience with men (even when counting boys as well) or no negative experiences. They just bandwagon like most women do because they don't want to be called a pick-me for defending their man or just men in general. Social media has just perpetuated this term into some sort of statement that shows "empowerment". But I recently saw a woman say that in some cases, these women are the same ones that are actively seeking or pursuing a good man like the rest of us. I don't know when it became a bad thing to just be real about that. Why do we have to hide the truth to our girlfriends just because we're scared of being ostracized by them?

[–]CuppyBees 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've never had a friend say this around me but I think responding confused/shocked would make them think about what they said? Idk I'd probably say something like "wait..what? No they're not dude, my husband isn't trash. Is your dad/brother/friend trash?" And go from there.

It does bother me to see it so casually thrown around online though; my dad is such an amazing person and fought so hard to get custody of us and protect us from our trash mother. Seriously not an easy thing to do, even now, but especially like 20 years ago. The woman in my life (bio and step mom) were completely irresponsible, over-dramatic, a vindictive liar, borderline unstable and made it very clearly that they mattered more than we did. I've never even raised my voice because I'm terrified of acting like one of them.

This of course isn't true for all women but a lot of them seem to believe that they have to be harsh, loud, and aggressive to be taken seriously. I used to be a lot like that, although I didn't hate men, I just thought I needed to be tough. Sort of like how little dogs flip out over nothing a lot to appear more dangerous? Lol. I really wish it was more normal to un-learn aggressiveness and practice controlling our anger. Maybe the difference is that men are expected to be calm and in control or they could be considered dangerous, but women aren't held to the same standard. Like those social experiment videos of men being abused by women and vice versa, with the women it's a joke no matter how far it goes, but with guys even defending themselves is considered abusive.

[–]masterdarthrevan 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. I really hate the hashtag #WasteHisTime. So disrespectful.

[–]JD_XJ 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your words

[–]HumbleHerald 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve tackled for a while with the feeling of invalidity I have for being, not just a human being, (prone and apparently answerable to all evils and vices committed) but a male. I am barraged on the Internet and by friends with anecdote after philosophization after rant regarding the toxicity inherent to my league of our species.

I’ve dealt with feeling awful for being attracted to people, thinking I’m proving myself the conduit of vileness and subhuman instinct spoken of when perverts and misogynists are described.

And watching this x-sided war of the genders going on these last few years, hearing the crimes of other people with XY chromosomes being laid at my feet, wasn’t helpful.

Reading what you’ve written here, though, is something special. Thank you for saying it.

[–]Sean02281986 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You are amazing.

[–]squideye62 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you, but it's sad that an opinion like this is considered amazing:( I hope one day it becomes normal. But thank you:)

[–]Violetta311 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you’re more mature than your friends. In my experience women who talk like that feel really disempowered in their relationships and date men who treat them like crap. Maybe it’s time to seek out new friends.

[–]Banincoming 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was in school in the 90s, and was taught that sexism and sexists are evil. Sadly I find many ladies to be "evil" nowadays. :(

[–]lafindublonde 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The dating world is a nightmare, a lot of childish men and women out there. If they’re choosing to waste their time with shitty immature men then that’s all they’re seeing. And I bet those men are saying to their friends “Women are dumb bitches.” I have a great man. It was clear from the beginning what type of man he is.

[–]ihearthandbags 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are men that feel similar negativity towards women. Both sides get to this place because of negative experiences. We can’t say all women or all men are great, that is a dangerous mentality. If your friends have had to deal with men that treated them poorly you can remind them that not all men are bad, that they need to raise their standards, regroup their priorities. Just keep it positive and light hearted. Sometimes we need our friends to open our eyes to new prospectives.

[–]kcur42 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Men shouldn’t just have a job to provide for their entire family - they’re expected to cook and clean too"

I think this is based off of neoliberal nuclear family ideology. most real-world families are more balanced. also, most middle class families can't survive off of a single income. So I don't think this argument has much validity, imo. All families are different.

"And their mental health levels are so much lower than ours, and they die prematurely compared to us women too. If anything, they need more assistance."

This is very true. I think the majority of men (in our culture) have a terrible predisposition to avoid feelings, empathy and self reflection. I think all people should be in therapy. I think all men should be willing to have emotional conversations with one-another. It is true that more feminine people/women are more likely to build emotional support systems and community with their female counterparts. I don't think the statement "men are trash" was created to counteract the fact that men struggle too. I hope nobody actually thinks men are emotionless robots. I hope.

I’d be in a whole lot of trouble if I said “women are trash”

I'm a young woman. I know that not "all men" are "trash". However, I do feel as though I have been degraded and treated with a lack of respect from men. In turn, that they treat me as though I am disposable, and an object. Every day. On campus, at work, at the bus stop, on the internet. I can infer that it largely has to do with hyper-sexuality and some sort of superiority complex coming from men, because it is always sexual harassment. I want any man to imagine being a 17 year old girl. To imagine having to deal with older male customers at work making sexual comments about them every day. Not being able to go out alone at night, because you live in a city. Getting catcalled every time you go out with friends. It doesn't make me feel empowered- and it's only coming from men.

I would much rather have an internet joke about my gender as a whole (which their are plenty) than have to deal with daily sexual harassment, and the occasional sexual assault.

From my perspective; "men are trash" has been a response to the ways in which an alarming amount of men are sexually impatient and disregard consent. Not all men do this, we know that. Any woman who has had consensual interactions with a man knows this.

Me and my friends don't talk about men being "worthless trash". If we are criticizing men as a group, we mention how we have harassed by them. We mention how we can often be scared of them, feel undermined by them, etc.

That being said, any statement that oppresses any group is inherently bad. I just have trouble empathizing with this one, but maybe that's just me.

So I have nothing against the ideas behind "men are trash". As a blanket statement, it's offensive. From an anthropological viewpoint, maybe statements like this were created by woman as a defensive mechanism. To take back the power.

Adding on to this, I hear a lot of men say "Imagine if I called women bitches, sluts, hoes, whores, thots" (the list goes on into oblivion). Those are sexually degrading terms. "Trash" does not, and will not ever compare. So I don't find validity in that argument either.

Edit: I know men face sexual assault and harassment too. But statistically much less often, and that is 100% because of gender.

[–]Wolfssenger 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you expose yourself only to trash then you might think that's all there is. It's the opposite side of the incel "all women are (insert offensive term)". While the reason they get there might be different, the fact of the matter is neither side is right and neither have put in the requisite work or made the correct choices to experience otherwise.

[–]Noodlesoupe2 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s like men say bitches ain’t shit. They don’t actually mean it.

[–]n2mypsykee 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You attract when you give out gurrrl

To step down a bit, I understand why a woman with trauma that was caused by a man would say this

[–]HappilyMrs 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are trash men, and trash women. However, trash men seem to be a lot more vocal and obvious, and a lot more likely to do trash things that get them media coverage. I feel bad for the good men just trying to do the right thing, who look after their families and communities, aren't violent or criminal or make others feel intimidated. The bad guys draw attention, and get men generally a bad name. The bad women are more subtle generally.

[–]KelVarnsenStudios 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We polarize people. We are either extremely shitty or we do great things.

[–]TheBunk_TB 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ex GF once said something just like your quotation in the 1st paragraph:

"I told my best friend (deleted) that we could get married if I keep breaking up with my boyfriends".

I got fired shortly after. Then she fired another guy. She finally got married to this one cat, and I worry for him.

She had said some vile things about all men. This was a learning experience for me, I hope other men/women learn from it. It isnt flattering and it makes you look bad.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]squideye62 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Of course. This is a generalisation too, but one that I believe is more accurate than "all men are trash". There will always be a few bad apples.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The problem is that majority of men(I am man) I could know for 21 years of my life were actually jerks. The problem is, that it goes from both sexes, men and women eventually WILL be jerks if they can be jerks without consequences. So the majority of people acting in some way are causing this stereotypes to be generalised on entire society. The fact is, that nowadays culture won't help fighting with this fact, so sadly I would say, that 'general value' of men will be decreasing, because nobody even treats seriousely things like: -shorter life, more suicides, more work accidents, worse mental health, worse society looks on problems f.e mental as men. Men usually doesn't get help while they are suffering mentally, or they are being said "BE STRONGER, YOU ARE MAN". In my case noone even cared when I got sick, it was just "its all in your head, you are man, you can't be such miserable guy". If you have mental problems, and you don't have enough strong will to change it - you are screwed. Tldr: 'Men value' will decrease, since our society lets it happen and sadly it won't be stopped.

[–]Eklen 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Men are okay.

[–]HumbleHerald 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aren’t we all?

[–]Kinkajou87 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I respond by getting personally offended by that statement, even while being a woman.

I have a partner, father, grandfather, friends, and relatives who are men who are nothing but sweet and kind, who want the best for everyone and have worked hard their whole lives. How dare someone make a statement like that about them.

They are clearly the ones with hate in their heart, not men in general.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men aren't great and amazing as a whole. There are great guys and, well, trash.

Men call women sluts, cum dumpsters and many more. Check out red pill and mgtow subreddits. And the ones who do deserve being disrespected. When women say that men are trash, they mean these awful, trashy dudes.

And I hope that you feel the same way about red pill dudes calling women awful names.

[–]december120 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I dont think men are trash, but I do hate all men. I have yet to meet one that isn't stupid, or hasn't disappointed me.

[–]taysn995 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Actually, I'm a guy and I'm a piece of shit tbh.

[–]Black-Justice 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]TheLeaNights 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm a Sex worker and I hear this alot. I see it alot. I do tend to agree with you. Though I still see the reasons why people are saying this, my work phone would have you screaming into the air men are trash and you wouldn't be wrong in your anger, but I don't class them as men.

I've had this conversation with some of my closer co workers and they tend to agree. Have you ever had this discussion with your friends? You might get them to change the way they look at that statement.

ALOT of people say this carelessly. It's like the all men are rapists argument. Which I also think is a trash statement.

And then I think of my clients.

The man who can only utter "please" "thank you" "sorry" & "Lea" in english and sees me as a cure for loneliness because his family isn't in the country.

The guy who's wife died but still craves physical contact, comes to see me because he feels like he's cheating on her if he were to go out and meet someone new.

The socially awkward fellows who ( by the dozen) ask for tips and tricks to meet and please women.

These, by the way are the people described as "buyers of sex" & "guys who like to abuse women" by most of society.

Men do seriously get a bad wrap. When in reality it's a smaller number shouting louder than the rest.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Banincoming 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think about 20% of people are selfish, and 5% of people are trash. Both genders.

[–]fairydust91 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree but I think it's worth pointing out that just as men are expected to go to work AND help around the house, so are women. In fact, more so than men. So while I generally love men, I do think this argument is invalid. Both genders work now but women still do most of the housework.

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

On a redpill space such as this subreddit, we acknowledge this anger phase. Why can’t we acknowledge the anger phase of women?

[–]TheLemming 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's plainly untrue and very damaging to insist that men don't face danger on dates. It's also weird because it paints a picture of women being incapable. In this case incapable of doing harm. That's not true. Men have to face emotional and physical abuse as well.

I would never go around saying "women are trash" and expect women in part or as a whole to not be offended, not be afraid, and not speak up against it. And so I don't think women should do the same either.

[–]Banincoming -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If strange men on dates are all dangerous murders, I guess arranged marriages are the only safe way to go (/s). We solved the problem! Yay!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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