I just want to share this positive interaction that surprised me so much I'm still thinking about it days later.
I've been making the same breakfast for my husband every day for like a year and a half. Our life together has had many phases and due to work and other responsibilities, I have not played a very traditional role for most of it.
Yes I have done most of the cooking and always cared that he was fed, but never before have I been so consistent. It's always been "are you hungry/ do you want me to make you breakfast?" Where sometimes it was a yes and other times a no... but the no wasn't coming from a lack of desire for my breakfast. It was him not wanting to be selfish or ask too much of me. I didn't see that and I didn't care to. I wifed like my mother wifed, as though it was a daily checkbox of burdensome obligations and hey, I asked, so therefore I get to check that box and go on with my day feeling good about myself while his perspective wasn't even on my radar.
A year and a half ago is when we started caring more about our physical fitness. His goal was to gain weight and mine was to lose it. I actually thought about what that looks like for him, considered that he really struggles to eat big portions so therefore the best way to help him was to feed him more often. I need to save my first meal for later in the day so cooking breakfast is something I do just for him.
I'm still amazed at myself because many-a-time I have thought "He wants to gain weight, there's food in the house. What more can I do? It's up to him. I can't control his eating, it's his fault he won't just get up and eat." And yet this time I decided to make a meaningful attempt to help.
I never realized until recently how significant all this is.
He told me the other day that my breakfasts changed his life. I was stunned, "What, changed your life? What do you mean?" He said that it's delicious and that it's steady and predictable, something to look forward to, makes him more capable of handling the day. This still doesn't sound life changing to me, it's just food! But I accepted his words without challenge and told him I was happy that I could help and we went on to have a great day.
I just want to say to everyone here who finds it so easy to minimize their contributions... they matter more than you can possibly understand. The way you move through your day with gratitude in your heart, the way you let go of resentment and simply do things out of joy and not obligation, that is what makes you incredible and it's value can't be overstated.