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my quality of life is better when I weigh less…if youre thinking of losing weight DO IT

September 26, 2021

I dont know if this is going to be received well or not but its just something I’ve noticed. I’m 5’3, pretty petite, and have a pretty face. I’ve never gotten huge or anything but my weight has fluctuated between 135-160 in the last few years and there is a noticeable change in the way people treat me when I am smaller vs. bigger. Men take me more seriously, women go out of their way to be my friend and invite me places, strangers compliment me. Like its a whole other world. I’m currently 144 right now and am working on getting down to 125-130 (I’m naturally curvy so anything smaller would look wrong on my body type)…I used to really struggle with the difference in treatment bc I’m still the same person no matter what it says on the scale but now I just use it as a motivator. I’m 22, I live in an upper class area near a major city, and as of right now have three dates scheduled with all high value men (all make over $150k, with established careers, over 6 foot, come from good families, and went to prestigious universities + theyre all kind and well respected men). I wouldnt be in the position I’m in now if I still weighed 160, I know that for a fact. If you are seriously looking for your future partner start taking your health seriously. Its probably the best thing you can do for yourself and is one of the biggest factors in attracting high quality men whether we like it or not.

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Post Information
Title my quality of life is better when I weigh less…if youre thinking of losing weight DO IT
Author delidoll
Upvotes 194
Comments 46
Date September 26, 2021 4:57 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
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[–]_johnfketamine 37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it’s also about how you carry yourself. In my experience/based on my observations, people are usually more confident when more in shape. Thus they walk with shoulders up and smiling, are more friendly and non-judgmental, and overall have a better vibe. A healthy body begets a healthy happier mind.

Edited grammar

[–]That-Bend-1601 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Self improvement and an enlightened focus on self care and health is always commendable. Anyone who will tell you otherwise is speaking from a place of jealousy or resentment. Hate always comes from below.

[–]Anonymous_fiend 31 points32 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yes, weight is a very important aspect of attraction. It signals fertility and health. Men with options are going to choose the best one. Women who lack self discipline are unlikely to get much attention. People who prioritize health want someone else who does too. Long term lifestyle compatability is just as important as looks. A lot of men are afraid that their wife will just stop putting effort into looking good once she feels comfortable in the relationship. If you can't make much of an effort to take care of yourself while trying to attract a man you aren't going to 10+ years down the line. It's seen as a potential liability. It's not sexist but society has a really hard time talking about it...yet men talk about it all the time in private. Women should want to look attractive for their husbands especially if they used to like dressing up for male attention when they were still single. Your husband deserves the best of you. Just like women still want the same amount of attention they got while dating men want respect.

I've been very thin to bmi 24 and the way I'm treated by men (and women) is way different. But I'm a very thin boned 5'3 and my extra weight goes to my face and stomach not my curves. Some of it I think has to do with self respect. When I put effort and take care of myself I tend to feel better and smile more. I seem more approachable now. I radiate positive feminine energy vs being critical and miserable. How you treat yourself shows others how to treat you. When I dress up nicely and present myself well I'm treated much differently too. Both genders perceive attraction as social currency. The halo effect is real.

Edit: also high income men tend to prefer a slimmer body shape than lower income. Its more socially accepted in their circles even if heavy is a fashion trend. These are people who prefer quality timeless classics over fast fashion. While being 200lbs+ you may receive a lot of male attention it usually isn't from high class men. There's a lot of interesting studies about breast/ass size, weight, and socal class. So if you're looking to marry a man in a higher class and not just be a gf you'll need to take fitness and diet seriously.

[–]remwmber1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

BMI 24 is not thin. BMI 20 pr 18 is thin.

[–]Anonymous_fiend 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, I know bmi 24 is the largest I've been. I'm currently underweight and trying to gain muscle.

[–]remwmber 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

or 18

[–]greenapple_383939 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's pretty silly to say a specific BMI is thin or not thin. Someone might have a low BMI, but actually be skinny-fat (high body fat percentage, but normal weight) and not actually very attractive under their clothes. On the other hand, another person may have a higher BMI, but be thin and in shape and have a lot of the weight coming from muscle mass.

[–]SeaGems 17 points18 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I noticed this too. I dropped weight from 170 to 120 in a year, and at the beginning, I was quiet, didn't have many friends, took my lunch breaks alone, never went out, no one really cared to talk to me unless they needed me for a favor or something. Then by the end of the year I was getting invited to parties, hookah bars, birthdays and holiday events, clubs, small get-togethers, I was in a bunch of social circles and people would take their breaks when I did to hang out and chat. I seriously hadn't been invited to a Halloween party for 6 years before I lost weight. I didn't think it would change things as much as it did, but it was a night and day difference.

[–]greenapple_383939 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Weight still isn't everything, though. As in, just because you're not overweight doesn't mean people will be all over you. I've never been overweight in my entire life, and have always been relatively in shape and put together. But Ive always been in your "before" situation (minus the weight obviously)

[–]secondtaunting 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

How did you drop the weight?

[–]SeaGems 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Oh, I really wasn't being healthy or exercising or anything. I was staying with my mom, and we were so broke we couldn't afford to eat everyday.

[–]secondtaunting 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh dear. Hope everything is ok now

[–]SeaGems 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We're both doing great now, no worries! We were both really social and out all the time, and we had each other, so it didn't feel like hard times.

[–]Ionotropic_effect 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ve seen an uptick in weight lost posts recently here. It’s really great to lose weight for your health, but please be careful to not push yourself too hard in the opposite direction-coming from a woman who’s 5’8 and convinced myself I needed to be continuously “losing weight”. At one point I was 103 pounds and quite underweight and going to the gym 5 days a week and trying to breastfeed a baby, just a warning to...not get so caught up in weight loss that you lose yourself and the good in life, like a delicious meal with friends, or a good nights’ sleep.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have been huge and it's awful. Unlike when you're a kid, no one teases you or anything, as a fat woman. You're just invisible. I literally had clerks motion to the person behind me as the next in line, when I was fat, in my early twenties. The cute clothes didn't fit me and the plus-sized clothes were crazy expensive. If men saw me, it was as friend material only, even the ones who were heavy themselves. Attractive women actually did want to be my friend, because I wasn't a threat to the attention they sought, since I was the largest person in most rooms.

I lost around 90 pounds over the course of a year and a half about 10 years ago and the way I was treated was worlds different. I'm sure a lack of confidence played a role, but I lost the weight so quickly, the differences were much starker. People who had never noticed me said hi and men smiled at me and struck up conversations, even though nothing had changed personality-wise. I'm still not great at realizing when a man is hitting on me (much to my husband's surprise), because it just... didn't happen for so long. I'm currently trying to lose the ten pounds I put on while pregnant with twins and just remembering what it's like to be fat is all the motivation I need not to let it get out of hand.

[–]sinisterforces 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh haha for me I was thinking that I feel better now at 130 lbs than I did at 108, and I’m 5’5, guess what we think of as thin or loosing weight is relative.

[–]secondtaunting 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was perfectly happy in the 130-150 range. Menopause and quitting smoking and cymbalta all at the same time jumped me up to 169. I walk everyday, don’t drink pop, eat junk food, etc. I’ve switched to fruits and fish but the weight has only dropped a bit. I’ve only lost about eight pounds and it’s been months! R

[–]softrevolution_ 22 points23 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I would like to caution you that you should be bringing more to the table than just a well-cared-for body. Being 22 and gorgeous will attract the men you're interested in, but you've got to make sure you have something worth sticking around for (and no, sex alone is not it). What are your non-superficial qualities?

[–]delidoll[S] 27 points28 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I mentioned superficial things because weight and looks are inherently superficial and that was the topic of conversation. I am in the beginning stages in a career in advertising, I have been told I have a good sense of humor, I read books and journal everyday, I enjoy running, I’m a talented painter, I’m currently in the process of writing a book and am training for a marathon. I also come from a good family and was put in etiquette classes as a child so I know how to act in public and handle conversations. I keep my home clean, I read books on childrens development so I can be the best mother I can be when I do find somebody I want to settle down with and I know how to cook. I have plenty to offer other than just my looks but unfortunately as a woman these qualities are often looked past unless my exterior looks good. Which was sort of the point of the post….

[–]softrevolution_ 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Excellent! Just making sure you knew that. There are people who honestly think that beauty is everything, and I was coming from a place of concern -- I'm truly happy that you are a well-rounded person, and you certainly seem to be in a great position to be a good partner to a high-value man.

[–]delidoll[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for being so kind!

[–]LanaTownsend 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great points! OP is reasonable but many women think just having a pretty face and nice body should entitle them to a high-quality man.

[–]softrevolution_ 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We've seen an example of how that isn't necessarily so -- the TikTok girl -- so it was really nice to see the contrast in OP, who sounds like she's really making something beautiful of herself as a person.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]LivelyLychee[M] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be polite or be quiet.

[–]delidoll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

ok…thats fine lol.

[–]Scoobyginger25 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes 🙌🏻

[–]purple_pansy88 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

When I have been larger I'm just invisible in public. No one cares about me or what I'm doing and I like it that way. It's probably not the healthiest way to feel but I like it when people leave me alone.

I don't particularly want to be with a man that is considered high quality either. I like dorky men who are awkward with women. I am with a man that other women don't particularly find attractive but I like him. He earns well and he's very responsible but he has no social or people skills. Me and him get along better than I would with a neurotypical man that lots of women found attractive.

I can see why losing weight would open up opportunities for people and make their lives better if they wanted to improve their social status, not to mention their health. However I'm not interested in my social status. I have thought about the effect on my health having a BMI of 37 could have in the future. I have considered it. I have been smaller before, I maintained a BMI of 26 for a year at one point. I might consider this again if my weight starts to effect my health. For now I am healthy. My blood pressure is generally around 116 over 70 and I have had Covid and it barely effected me. I have also had my children without complications.

[–]IAmMissingNow 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the only normal sounding comment so far to me and honestly refreshing to see.

[–]faceperfect4radio 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So happy I found this sub!!!

[–]Sea_Bookkeeper_15331 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes this is 100% true. I have noticed this also applies when I make no effort with my appearance on a given day VS when I do. The difference in how people treat me is crazy. That's the biggest motivation to do hair and make up daily!

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]delidoll[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I answered this already. But go off lol. Clearly they wouldnt be interested if I had nothing else to offer.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I insisted this gentleman leave.

[–]delidoll[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont know why they feel the need to come into womens spaces to criticize lol. Thank you.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think there are some people who just like to sow discord and don't even care about the topic.

[–]JaneDough21 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As a person who is petite and has weighted 56.5 kilograms I agree.

I started loosing weight because my mother pushed me, seeing how much weight I had gained, to go hiking with her and my father. First, I didn't like it because of how much effort I had to do to go upwards in forests and mountains. Nowadays, I loved there isn't any free Saturday that I don't go hiking with them. Also I do some bycicle in my house during rainy days.

When I started to loose weight, clothes that could not fit me now do, as a consequence I feel better with my self and more confident in everything, especially in social life.

Now I weight 52.3 kilograms, there is still a lot to do to go to my ideal weight 50 or 49 kilograms, the later if possible as I am nineteen now and I want to paliatte at least the effects of sedentarism in my body as much as possible.

Also now, I like to wear skirts and dresses. That was something I would have never done before due to my legs looking like hams. In the past, the only clothing I used to be comfortable with were leggins because I didn't feel stuffed when wearing them.

[–]Inanna-Isis 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Personality is the only thing that should matter in a person. Love and relationships are optional. The most important thing is that you are truly happy with yourself.

[–]empteh_ 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How do you find high value men? Dating apps?

[–]delidoll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There’s a few ways. I live in an upper class area with my parents near one of the biggest cities in America. Theres HVM all over. I’m lucky I guess, but also not lucky because theres gorgeous women all over too. Sometimes I meet them on dating apps (Hinge), other times through friends, and others through my family. I’ve had the most luck with dating apps honestly. I can really pick and choose on them and I’ve met a lot of really amazing guys off them. I would try dating apps if you dont live in a “good” place, if you do then just get out there and meet them.

[–]aquariangem 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I also find that being skinny repels overly perverted men. Of course, a few come in my way. Now that I’m back to my original weight, men look at me in the face rather than elsewhere

Oh and my energy is better, don’t feel sluggish anymore

[–]Blackgod_Kurokami 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s called lookism

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Whether we like it or not, women are judged based on looks. That's just human biology. Women judge based on ability to provide and protect, and men judge based on health (which indicates the ability to bear a child without medical complications) and the ability to make something out of what he provides for her. Part of looking healthy is having an appropriate weight for your height and build. That number is different for everyone, but it does matter. Telling a guy that he can "walk away" because he cares about looks, is like a man saying a woman can 'walk away" if she cares about income. Technically true, and up to you, but ignorant to how we biologically choose mates.

[–]LivelyLychee[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Advice must be from a red pill perspective. Weight is absolutely an important factor for women to get under control when it comes to her attractiveness. Removed.

[–]Small-Button-2308 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I totally agree!!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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