The downsides of OLD have been talked about inside and out, but is it hopless? Given that I am freshly engaged to a man I swiped right on four years ago, I'd say no! The men we are looking for, the serious and commited ones with classical masculine values are out everywhere, looking for a good woman to invest their time into. They might try OLD out of curiosity, or perhaps some of them are too busy to go out and meet people IRL and hope somebody good will get caught in their online net. You never know, so here it goes:

  1. How you should present yourself

a) Your pictures. Have one very good looking picture of yourself looking your best; you might think men love a laid-back woman of low maintenance, but valuable men also like ladies who can steal the spotlight at an event. DO NOT USE FACE TUNE - they can tell. Have one candid picture of yourself with minimal/no-make-up ... let there be no surprises as to how you look into your day to day life. Have one picture of yourself head-to-toe or at least down to your knees. Men do not like overweight women (deal with it!) and you achieve nothing by tricking a man with high angles and close shots. Your purpose is to build a lasting relationship, not to score a one hour date.

b) Your description. This one should be about your passions or hobbies; jokes or memes that men can latch onto to start a good conversation. By God, do not write that you love pizza and cats! Do NOT write that you are RP/ a trad wife/etc; Do NOT write that you are looking for a man that is traditional/RP/X, Y and X. Instead of going "bazinga! I am the man for her!!", men read it as an expectation; besides, lots of men have no time or little interest in Reddit or RP theory.

2. How a valuable man presents himself

If you pay close attention you will see that us women are too pretentious about the things that don't matter and not pretentious enough about the things that do. We latch onto false flags and we make lists about how our future imaginary husbands should be. But how do valuable men, the ones who are good for us, look like online?

a) Their pictures will be meh. Men are not like us, they do not know their good angles and they don't ask their friends to take pics of them on their night out. Also, what makes a man attractives consists of his posture, his attitude and his voice, things which do not manifest in a photograph. If he looks "meh" in pictures, then there is a good chance he could be amazing IRL, so give him a chance! If he has shirtless pictures or an instagram with 150 pictures of himself, then he is a self-absorbed individual with too much time on his hands who needs to be avoided like the plague.

b) Their descriptions. Men who are traditional often do not see themselves as traditional, but "normal". As long as his bio is not empty and consists of a description, a joke or some movie refference, you can safely assume he is fairly traditional (unless you see some other red flag like too many clubbing pics ). Avoid men who list their height or income. Avoid men who tag themselves as RP or say they want a RP/trad wife/etc. It's women who make the imaginary boyfriend lists, not men. Those who do have something wrong with them and are waiting for women to fall at their feet.

3. Once you match

a) The man NEEDS to message first AND have some sort of pick-up line or ice breaker. If he cannot be bothered to think about something funny/interesting to get your attention for the first five minutes, then he will not be bothered further along in the dating process. It does NOT matter if the pick-up line is cheesy, it does NOT matter if his grammar is incorrect. Any man who raked his brains to try and make a good impression is worth at least chatting with for a little while.

b) Everything needs to move to real life quickly. Men who know what they want and who know what they like want to get to see you quickly; only teenagers and f-boys like messaging 10 girls for weeks at a time. Not only do you expect him to be the first to take the conversation to other types of messanging and to ask you out, but you need to not keep them waiting for weeks. Men who have their stuff together will drop it if they feel like they need to orbit you before getting the "privilege of taking you out for a coffee or a walk in the park.

4. General advice

a) Beware of false flags! You are looking for a man who is attractive (to you), reponsable, serious, caring and protective. Anything else is temporary and subject to change, especially if you are young. Do NOT vet out men because they don't have a college degree, because they are of a different religion, because of their politics, their taste in music. You will end up alone and regret letting good men go.

e) Do NOT ask men if they fit your list. Do not ask a man in your first interactions if he wants kids/wife/a house, how much he earns or anything like that. Men want their dates to be fun, spontaneous and passionate and every subject should come natural to the conversation. Men know and feel when we take out our mental check list and start ticking their "right" or "wrong" answers. Just as we feel sexually objectified, they too feel taken for granted or treated like beasts of burden.

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This guide was reviewed by my fiancee (who's had enough horrible Tinder dates before I "saved" him hahah) and I hope these are all helpful to you. I have found happiness and only wish more people find happiness together!