~ archived since 2018 ~

On respect and his freedoms

December 16, 2017

I have been pondering this these past few weeks because I have been having some troubles with my boyfriend lately, and I realized I THOUGHT I was showing respect for him but it wasn't coming off in my actions. I never meant it to come off as disrespectful but in the end I was.

I always thought respect was acknowledging your man's abilities - typically his intellect or skills or moral character. However this week I realized respect has another side to it - respecting his space, respecting his need for HIS freedom to choose and make his decisions, because this freedom is so crucial to him being a man.

A lot of this comes down to typical female behavior - nagging or pressuring. It doesn't matter if you're a soft place to land, if you pressure him every night to come over to your apartment, he's going to start avoiding you because of the pressure. However if he has the freedom to choose to come to you, he most likely will. It's also his OWN test of how much he loves you - does he choose to come back to you? That means you really mean something to him. No woman should have to pressure a man to stay with her.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/RedPillWomen.

/r/RedPillWomen archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title On respect and his freedoms
Author vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes 24
Comments 7
Date December 16, 2017 11:48 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You know, I struggle with this sometimes. Trying to be helpful can sometimes have the opposite of intended result. I'm realizing when I micromanage, I haven't gotten my fill of alone time. Still a work in progress to recognize it before the damage is done 😬

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm also guilty of this (hence the post). You're right that being too helpful can come off as "controlling" even if we don't mean it to be. It's just that WE don't see it as controlling but in a man's eyes, it's invasive.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a great post. It's so important to remember not to be pushy. Needy and bossy behavior will drive a man away suuper fast. When women act that way, they are basically saying to their man, "You're so incompetent that I have to instruct you on every little thing." Any guy would feel disrespected and turned off by that.

[–]sonder_one1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This brings to mind a lot of the (very anti-red pill) commentary on the recent "Cat Person" essay.

The essay was intended to flatter the female perspective, particularly by ending it the way they did - a transparent effort to kill the notion that the man could be a sympathetic character. A lot of the blue pill pro-female commentary has focused on the woman's supposed extreme concern for sparing the man's feelings.

But reread the essay. Not once was her concern reflected in her actions. Not once could it have been visible to him. In the slightest.

She was pretty much the epitome of the type of experience that drives men to bad behavior towards women, and towards becoming the type of man he was portrayed as being. She was neurotic, had wild mood swings, and ultimately after a night of akward sex (both of their faults) the next thing he heard from her was a "never speak to me again" text.

Don't get me wrong, there's plenty to criticize about that essay, and from a lot of angles, but being familiar with TRP, I can absolutely see in that man the behavior of a long time blue-pill incel trying (very clumsily) to put what he's seen work for TRP-aware men into practice. It's a sad display, but a more sympathetic one than hers. I mean, I can think of a dozen things she could have done better, but other than "be better at life" I don't have realistic advice for him.

TLDR: What you feel and what others see are not the same.

[–]BlaueBlumeFreiheit 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I think it is remarkable how much time some women spend thinking about stuff like this. It is honorable but I can not wonder if the time could be better spend with the kids or for themselves.....

[–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


Be polite or be quiet.

I am not sure why you cannot conceive that people think while doing things, but regardless your condescending judgment is neither helpful nor wanted.

[–]Hartley70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it can be a challenge to find a balance between allowing freedom and asserting ourselves in a feminine way. Everyone should have their space though.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2023. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter