I come from a mediterranean culture and the other day I was having a deep conversation with my mom about my grandma's, hers and my life.
She said "when your grandma was young, the only possibility for women was to learn how to be a homemaker, marry and then make and educate kids."
We were talking about one of my grandma's sister who married a mean man who controlled and hit her and I asked my mother "so, who taught those women how to choose their man well?" and she said "no one."
I know we all have different views on feminism, but I think we can all agree on something : women didn't use to have a choice.
And now we do, and we can't let go of that because it is vital for our own happiness to be able to chose how we want to live our lives and with whom.
You don't have to be like my great-aunt who is still loyal to her decaying husband everyday, despite every horrible thing he did to her and their kids. You don't have to be like your mother, your father or anyone for that matter. You can be whatever you decide to be, but first you have to live and you have to think about what you want.
I sometimes see the advice of marrying young but I personally think it's best to have some experience in order to really know what you're looking for. Your first LTR doesn't have to be the last and look up on sunk cost fallacy if you're feeling trapped in a relationship.
I think vetting is the most important and useful advice we give here. Without it, we become like my grand mother and her sisters who didn't have a say in their lives.
Don't be like my grand-mother.
Cook and clean and be submissive because you chose to, not because some social theory told you so.
Vet with all your heart and soul, I can guarantee that when you find someone to spend your life with, you not only know it, but also feel it. Make sure to read up on the cycle of abuse and its signs, make a list if that's your thing (I surely did) with the important things you want in a man and also the most important deal-breakers. Put yourself out there when you're ready and don't forget to honor all of the women who made it possible for you to be able to make choices today :)