Im a long time lurker, and upvoter, but Ive never posted for a couple of reasons: 1. Not being entirely sure I understand the thread 2. Not being entirely sure I fit in to the thread. Anyway, I just want to share my situation & hopefully get some direction.

My SO(23M) and I (21F) have been together for almost 3 years now. After a year of conversation, we have decided tl move in together. I previously went off to school & got a CA Pharmacy License & moved out with a roommate and he remained at home with parents, working. in about October, I lost my apartment and wound up technically homeless. Jumping from place to place trying to get established. In that time, he took very good care of me. Making sure I was fed, showered, and had a place to sleep when I couldnt afford it myself.

Hes very protective, and Ive always been very willing to be in a womans role for him. When he came over, I would cook, clean, wash his clothes when I was over his house, backrubs after work. Anything I could. But Ive always been told I am playing the role of a wife , and I shouldnt be, because he is just my boyfriend. They say he'll never marry a woman thats already giving him what a wife would. I could never agree with that.

Now, with us moving in together, he has a side career hes had since before I met him. Hes working part time at a restaurant and has admitted lately that hes become depressed because he wants his career to take off but he just doesnt have the time to devote to it. Its brought his spirits way down.

I just landed a high paying fulltime job that would allow me to carry us financially so that he could quit his part time and focus fulltime on his passion. He would rather get paid to do that than to be washing dishes all day and I understand. Even though Im the one working, he will be in charge of finances & i will still be the one keeping home. I want him to be able to do what it is that makes him happy & support him as he's done for me so many times.

I suppose my question is: 1. Do I have the RP ideal down? 2. Is me being the one to work cutting him out as captain? He loved the idea & I havent seen him so happy in quite a while. 3. In what ways in this dynamic can I make sure that Im still doing what I need to as a woman, while still making sure we have a roof over our head WITHOUT making him feel like less of a man? Thanks for any help in advance. :)