Overly smitten

cynicalhousewife · 2017-04-24T13:04:29+00:00

I think the problem is that she doesn't find him that attractive. It's not his enthusiasm that is turning her off, it's the fact that she doesn't feel hot over him to begin with. Being interested and enthusiastic isn't a problem if the woman is actually attracted to the man to begin with.

ivegotsomequestions0 · 2017-04-23T21:10:26+00:00

Do you think there's a "marriage game" where both people need to feel like the other is a catch and both have to seem not desperate?

I think that people are driven to try and get approval from those who hold it out of reach, and they're automatically suspicious when it's given too quickly or someone seems desperate for their approval. It's a proxy for a person's status, and it also feeds into actual status.

Does it play a role in the marriage decision? Not unless the couple is still trying to sniff out each other's status for some reason. But since they've only been dating for 3 months, that dance is probably still going on.

Do you think men can get away with being more beta if they're tall?

Not much. I bet she's picking on his shortness because she's not sure whether he's a good catch, given how desperate he seems. If he were tall, she would pick on something else.

Landry86 · 2017-04-23T17:52:32+00:00

Lol.... She sounds um interesting.

I'm not sure about the tall thing. My father is short and he is very alpha. For the most part he's quiet and keeps to himself but whenever another man is getting on his nerves (like house contractors for instance) he puts them in their place immediately and directly.

Height can also depend on where you live. I am in Louisiana and many people here are short because they come from Italian/Cajun background. So being 5'5 wouldn't be that weird here. Most guys linger in the 5'7-5'9 range and girls here are 5'0-5'4

radioactivities9 · 2017-04-23T17:44:09+00:00

There shouldn't have to be the game of not 'looking desperate' with someone you'd ltr/marry. Damn. I think a lot of people lack self-awareness. How hard is it to encourage each other's standards and expectations? Like relationships are just magic.

5'8 isn't even short.

Wonder if he is genuinely crazy about her for who SHE is tho, and not just having a relationship with a woman. Does he 'see' her? That's common for men not to, and mistake things for love which are not love.

[deleted] · 2017-04-24T13:02:52+00:00

I think it's obvious why your friend's alone.

I used to have similar silly qualifiers, like height and hairline and even color (no redheads). Then I hit, oh 26 or so, and realized my guy (gay) friend's advice was true. It's okay to say you'd rather be alone than settle, as long as you really mean it. You might end up alone. The music might stop and you might not have a chair.

My fiance is 5'7.5". He claims 5'8" and I tease him for it, because he's not insecure at all. I'm 5'5.5", so he has 2 inches on me. He's also noticeably losing his red hair... as are most men over 35 (2/3). Because I got over myself, I find him very attractive and he's naturally very alpha.

I don't think height has anything to do with it. I think your friend is her own problem.

RubyWooToo · 2017-04-24T19:31:42+00:00

Based on what little information you've provided about her, it seems that her self-esteem is so low that she thinks any man who is smitten with her and talking about marriage must be desperate and low quality. She's pulling out the "short card" to detract from her own shortcomings.

Title	Overly smitten
Author	vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes	13
Comments	14
Date	April 23, 2017 5:38 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/673izn/overly_smitten/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/overly-smitten.87210 https://theredarchive.com/post/87210