Good day to all!

A lot of what we do, how we speak and our line of thinking is related to our own perception of reality. Sometimes it's in reaction to the way we perceive reality, other times it's a proactive attempt to change reality or how others perceive it. Let's break this down and discuss these concepts as they pertain to finding and keeping a long term life partner.

Objective reality

It's almost impossible for a mortal, finite human being to fully grasp the true objective reality of any given thing in this world. Everything is colored by our subjective perception. Nevertheless, through our power of intellect, we can - via the process of elimination - conclude that certain things are more objectively [fill in the adjective] than others. We can determine what's stronger, better, faster, smarter etc.

The good news is that everyone else is also motivated by perception, so - when it comes to relationships - we need not worry about the ultimate true objective reality of things, rather, we need to concern ourselves with the subjective way in which we and others perceive things.

Our internal reality

As humans, we are multi-faceted. We have several realms of reality that sometimes are in sync with one another, other times are at odds with one another and for the most part are just foreign to one another.

Example - in the realm of touch, soft, smooth, rough, bumpy and sharp are all textures of physical items you may touch or try not to touch. In the realm of emotions, all those adjectives refer to character traits and have nothing to do with texture. In the realm of logic, these are all theoretical concepts to be compared to other concepts and to be analyzed against them. The feel of texture is completely foreign in the realm of logic or emotions. It's like speaking a completely different language.

OTOH, these realms do interact with one another just like countries with different languages do business with one another. For example - the touch of a massage may evoke soothing emotions, the touch during foreplay may evoke sexy emotions, the touch of a slap may evoke fearful or angry emotions etc.

Our internal reality is the way we are thinking and feeling at any given moment. This is heavily influenced by our perception of the reality around us, but it can work in the reverse as well. If we can change our internal reality, we can change the way we perceive things and the way others perceive us. A positive attitude can literally have a positive effect on ourselves and others and a negative attitude is contagious as well.

Perception

Let's say you're looking to attract a mate. You dress nicely and act in a certain manner. You present the best version of yourself. When no one responds, you may question your attractiveness. This is human nature, however it's also a self fulfilling prophecy because the more you see yourself as unattractive, the more others will perceive you as unattractive. Why? Because if your internal reality says you're unattractive, you will unintentionally broadcast this message to the world and others will perceive you as unattractive.

OTOH, you can be feeling unattractive and dead inside until someone comes along and sees you as the most beautiful woman in the world! Suddenly, you're alive and radiant. I've watched this phenomenon many times. People who were so worn out, suddenly became vibrant and alive once they got together with a new partner. However, this isn't something we can rely on as a strategy. We can only control ourselves. Therefore, if we wish to attract and maintain a long term partner, we ought to work on our perception of ourselves and our internal reality. This will influence the perception that others have of us.

There are no guarantees in life

It's extremely important to know and always remember that nothing is guaranteed. We can exude confidence and sexiness to the world in general and to this man or woman in particular. However, there's no guarantee that they will buy it or that they will be interested. This can be frustrating, especially if you tried multiple times with multiple people and you haven't yet succeeded in finding your mate or in changing the perception your current mate has of you.

It's incumbent upon each one of us to take responsibility for our own thoughts, what we say or don't say and what we do or don't do. If our strategy isn't working, we ought to examine whether we're using the correct strategy or not. Are we looking in the right places? Are we really presenting ourselves the way we want to be presented? Are we conveying to our spouse the message we really want to convey? We need to be introspective and take responsibility for ourselves.

However, if we did everything right and still didn't succeed, sometimes it may be time to move on. We aren't guaranteed to succeed with this person or with any particular person. Success isn't owed to us for our efforts. Nevertheless, certain efforts are more likely to have successful results.

We therefore ought to never give up. To never be defeated in our internal reality. Aside from all the negative things that giving up can bring upon your mental health, it will also be self destructive to the purpose you wish to achieve. If you're trying to attract a mate and you allow the thought "I'm undesirable" to seep into your internal reality, you will end up exuding this perception of yourself to others which will in turn lower your desirability which in turn will lower your chances of finding someone....

Conclusion

You are exactly where you place your mind. This is also the way you present yourself to the world. Place your mind in the realm of positive thinking and you will exude positivity. Place your mind in the realm of confidence and you will exude confidence. Focus on your desirable elements and you will exude desirability to the world.

You aren't guaranteed to succeed on every try or within a certain time-frame, but don't let that ever dampen your spirits!

Chin up, smile and take on the challenges of today!

Cheers!